Today is 7 weeks to the day BD. Still, only contact I get is random emails during the week. And it seems every Friday brings an email wishing me a good weekend, and then every Monday brings one hoping I had a good weekend. No R talks, but that's okay. Patience, standing, letting her go on her journey. Detaching working well, and not really scared of a future without her.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Painted the bathroom this weekend that she and I had discussed remodeling in early May. We even went as far as buying towels, light fixture, rugs, and shower curtain. Was therapeutic.
Even managed some sleep. Not super restful, but it was sleep.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Received my 1st email from WAW/MLC wife since last Thursday. It was basically to tell me she "might" come by one day this week to grab some more clothes, and of a new restaurant she'd found and wanted to share.
Anyway, in the response, I said I hope she did well with her "hobby" this weekend. When BD, she said I never supported her hobby, which was far from the truth. This is the 4th or 5th time I've done a 180 when she mentioned have a packed weekend because of her hobby. I never get a response. I am sure it makes her angry.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
After several decent nights of sleep, 6 hours, an anxiety attack woke me after 4 hours last night. Restless, hot and cold flashes, and racing heart. Sadly, was unable to get back to sleep.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
After stepping back, detaching and working on myself. I have remembered lots about my MLC/WAW that I just tolerated in the past 7-8 months, quite possibly longer. Hardly ever giving any input when discussing plans. For instance, "I don't care, whatever you want to do is fine.". She did that with date night meals, weekend activities, and so forth. It can be really trying when you have to do all the work.
And I just realized she'd all but stopped touching me, even initiating kisses. And when I touched her, even in passing, it was met with indifference. Even to the point I quit trying.
The constant testing was also a big clue that something was going on. Instead of asking if I wanted to go on a camping trip, she'd state that I should go on a camping trip with one of our friends who was going solo on a backwoods national park hike. If I answered no, it meant I didn't want to go on one at all. This was just one of several "tests".
Lots of other things too. But what puzzles me most of all, in emails and text messages from early May (BD July 2nd-3rd) there is talk of the future, bathroom remodel, dinner parties, etc...
A friend has been meeting with me 4 times a week to walk/ride bikes -- 5 mile walks, 10-15 mile rides -- and he said she might be doing me a big favor. Haha! He understands that there are 2 sides to every story, we've spoken at length about my part in all this, but he also knows that running away and being selfish isn't very adult like. We've known this friend for 8-9 years, he knows us, has been around us a lot over the years. He's amazed at the predicament, and cannot believe it all came from my seemingly sweet wife.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Lack of sleep has been the worst for me. I wake up very early almost every morning with anxiety and can't get back to sleep. Xanax helps but I try not to take it every day. I'm told these symptoms won't last forever.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Now, I get another email stating she had not told her parents anything yet, and wondered if I had told my family. Not sure how to respond to that. I haven't told my family yet, I don't think they'd be terribly shocked, but her Mom and Dad (she is an only child) are likely to be shell shocked by it. 46 years married, stuck it out, deeply religious, etc...
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Lack of sleep has been the worst for me. I wake up very early almost every morning with anxiety and can't get back to sleep. Xanax helps but I try not to take it every day. I'm told these symptoms won't last forever.
Thankfully, my attacks have lessened.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Just had 3rd DB coaching session. Surely helps. Signed up for 3 more.
Still in limbo with wife, see post 2 up about telling family/parents. Still working on me, addressing my part in all of this, and making myself better.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
