WAH, in the thick of divorce

[ep0215]

But no 'coffee'

LOL

[Vanilla]

Well you never know..........

V

[ep0215]

I had a really good IC appointment tonight. She and I rehearsed some really good argument points about the parenting schedule. Next mediation session to finalize the time sharing schedule is Tuesday so I wanted to be prepared and mentally and emotionally ready to handle that battle. Our sitch is unique because of our opposite work schedules so we can't just go by the norm.

I feel confident and ready!

She also gave me some journaling tips like write bullet points every day of "today I feel..." And then write down what self care action will I take to make myself feel better. Also, make a bucket list of missing S days things to do. Sounds a lot like GAL activities hmmm maybe she is DB. Haha

So today I feel strong

[Vanilla]

Ep, that's a good IC that you are talking to. I sense she is grounding you and helping you to focus.

The only thing I would add on the journaling side is to add gratitudes. The key things every day that you are grateful for.

V

[ep0215]

Omg V! I forgot to write that she wants me to keep a gratitude journal and start one for my S so that when I am missing him I can read what he is grateful for to make me smile.

[Vanilla]

Smart IC!

V

[ep0215]

Today I am pissed

Pissed that I got an email from my attorney forwarding a communication from him and STBXH's attorney stating that over a week ago H called his attorney whining about the fact that I am proposing options for the time sharing schedule and it isn't what he wanted. I am not pissed about that per se but more that he is going around the process in which we set up the mediator and a parenting coordinator to do this. It has been one session and he didn't even bring anything to the table but you are pissed that you aren't getting your way?? PLEASE! Atleast his attorney was smart enough to say that he is deferring this to the parenting coordinator since that process hasn't even had a chance to work yet.

I guess I am not as detached as I thought. I will print out the email and bring it with me (L's suggestion) to start the conversation that this is not the process and I won't pay for extra sessions if he can't collaborate on the matter at hand in the room with the parenting coordinator. I am so glad that I met with IC yesterday to get the other argument points.

I knew this was going to happen. I knew that as soon as he didn't hear what he wanted to hear in the parenting session he would run and call L. I am pissed at myself for being pissed even though I predicted this would happen.

UGHHHHHH

[Fogg]

We're never as detached as we think.

I am pissed at myself for being pissed even though I predicted this would happen.

Know that feeling all too well also, its so frustrating.

Hope the mediator and parenting coordinator works out. He may have just been venting to his lawyer and annoyed and not trying to go around the process, but you never know. Just try to handle it the best you can.

[Vanilla]

It's called mediation, you don't like what's on offer? Suggest something different, then negotiations start. These things don't come instantly agreed for both parties, nice if they did, hey then we would need intermediaries. L no doubt has explained it to Your H.

It business admin for the sake of the children. Ep, you are being mature on it, and yes I think I would be annoyed too. Leave it at the door though, as I am sure you will.

V

[ep0215]

so question - H moved out in May and I haven't changed a thing except painting our master bedroom and replacing some photographs. He has told me the certain items he wants to take with him once the divorce is final and I agreed to the certain things that I do not want. so my question is this...I feel ready to take the certain 'manly' things down and pack them up for him. It just hurts looking at all these things that remind me of the times we shopped for them together and such. Is it too early and will it set me back to give him a box and say "here you go, this place is no longer yours"...