EP, Thank you for your support. I can't get out of my head the person I have been with the last 4 1/2 yrs and insert the monster she is now. I would like to think that she would wake up, but I don't think she will. I have been told not to hold out hope for that by friends. I love her more than anything or anyone I have ever loved before.
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
So I need some advice..My STBXW text me this morning saying she was coming to move some of her stuff today, here is the convo
W:Hi going to be there today moving stuff around 12:30 so u dont have to come home for the dogs, I will let them out and give them love. Do you want me to put them back in the side yards or in their kennels? (yea love the dogs, you havent been here to help or take care of them)
Me: Could you wait until 1:30 so I can get my stuff out of that room
W: I guess, you knew I was coming today. I'm on a bit of a time crunch with the uhaul.
M: No you told me you were coming on tuesday
W: I will be there at 1:30. Im taking x, Y, Z so I have something. We do need to talk at some point about everything else.
M: ok I need to be there for separation of everything else
W: thats what I was referring too. I have taken care of you for almost 5 yrs, I would not screw you over now. So lets try to keep things friendly and not insuinate anything ok
M: Im not insinuating anything. I am keeping things cordial
It took everything in me not to respond to the taking care of me for 5 yrs. No, we took care of each other for 5 yrs! She wouldn't screw me over now??? What does she think she is doing??
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
Yeah that line would have raised the hairs on the back of my head too .... its a simple history re-write of her there ... she has justified this entire move/break and one of the reasons was she had to spoon feed and burp you for 5 years .... not what really happened right? Next time "truth Dart" her right in the forehead with ... oh .. I dunno .. something like "Really? So happy you have re-written our history because I just happen a fully functioning adult before I met you and continue to be to this very second" Then bounce right out of the room. IMHO Truth darts are best tossed in person, I never could get my sarcasm font applied correctly via text nor email.
For now .. let it go .. its just her spew crazy and you do not want any of that stuff on you!
Thanks cali, you made me feel better. I will definitely do that next time
Today is hard day. My STBXW took all her clothes etc yesterday and there are stagers and the realtor at my house today. It just breaks my heart. I feel like we just moved in...well we did 3 yrs ago this month. I will never understand why she would do this rather than actually giving us a chance, just throwing everything away
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
My wife told me she was hanging on by a thread and yesterday was very hard and that this is very hard for her too. Hard because you have to move your stuff and its a pain or because she cares about us? I try to keep telling myself its not because of me that it is hard and that she doesn't care because otherwise she wouldn't be doing this.
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
PT ... she is wayward .. abducted by aliens ... she is not who you once knew right now.
I get how hard the separation is ... been there ... mine was Nov 8th I recall being home alone as I had till the end of the month, W took just about everything that I had not nailed down (Ya know .. because she would come to her senses) I ate a leftover Thanksgiving day plate that I brought home from work ... was so pathetic and I was just crushed.
It does get better ... you have the luxury of being here, learning what to do and what not to do ... I however wen on for 7 months on my own till I landed here. Keep DBing ... GAL, Detach, and fake the heck out of that PMA when she tries to tell you how hard things are for her ... the one who created this mess. I have never understood how the WAS seeks out the LBS for some sort of sympathy but they often do ... stay the course PT
ugg that [censored] cali, I don't understand people, how they can be so callus. I had to talk to her regarding things to do with the house today and she told me that it has been hard for her and emotional etc. I probably should have STFU, but I asked her if this was the best decision. She asked for the house or for us. I told her for us (can always buy another house). She said she had been thinking about things a lot over the last week when she was gone, but didn't expand more than that. She said we could talk more when we see each other thursday. I dont if that means anything or not, Im trying not to be hopeful. I had been so good with detaching too.
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
ugg that [censored] cali, I don't understand people, how they can be so callus. I had to talk to her regarding things to do with the house today and she told me that it has been hard for her and emotional etc. I probably should have STFU, but I asked her if this was the best decision. She asked for the house or for us. I told her for us (can always buy another house). She said she had been thinking about things a lot over the last week when she was gone, but didn't expand more than that. She said we could talk more when we see each other thursday. I dont if that means anything or not, Im trying not to be hopeful. I had been so good with detaching too.
That's R talk PT (Brace yourself for the 2x4) .... just like fight club(DB).. the first rule about Fight club (DB) is, there is NO Fight club(DB) .. the second rule ... No R talks !!!
PT thing is ... she fired you, you can not keep clocking in ... if the company realizes their mistake then you can use that new leverage and renegotiate your salary and ask for that sweet corner office ... as it is not, line up in the unemployment line, take some courses and become a better candidate right?
It stinks .. I get it ... right now she feels this will give her happy, it probably won't but its hard to tell a fat kid to stop eating ice cream. You have to wait for the tummy ache to hit, wait for them to look in the mirror, wait for them to figure this out all by themselves then bite your tongue and keep yourself from saying .. "No chit-I told you so"
Use this time PT ... become a better PT.
What GAL's do you have lined up... do something NEW. Goals? List Pros and Cons about PT and start nuking those Cons.
See where I am leaning with this ... all that stuff is saying "Get out of W's head" Live YOUR life .. Captain YOUR ship
Uggggggg your right cali, wuts even worse is that I knew I shouldn't have said anything! It's hard when you have divorce papers in hand (have 30 days to sign) and house is going on the market. My stupid brain wants to keep holding on.
I think I am just messed up because of the divorce papers...
I did go to bark for life with my dogs last weekend. Hung out with my pregnant sis all day on Sunday. I do need to plan some more things, but my time is now being spent cleaning and packing the house. Also have to be there to take the dogs when people want to see the house. Doesn't leave a lot of time for me. I want to volunteer to coach youth girls basketball this year, waiting to hear back. I also have season tickets to UCLA football coming up
I will list pros and cons in a little bit.....
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
that 'messed up' feeling is normal .. and the root is fear.
Really look into that, what are you afraid of, life without W, moving forward, being alone, starting over .. all of it ... you have to get this all out and deal with it regardless of what happens right?
I am really sorry most of all to hear about our unfortunate acquisition of season UCLA tickets ... yuck .. that's just horrible and my heart goes out to you .. GO SDSU
