Update. Txt battle from stbx w. She started asking about bills and and completely lost it. She said every bad thing to me possible. She hates me and this is a reminder why she Divorced me etc wow she was explosive. I kept calm and didn't put her down once which made her even more angry. She's not getting her way so she is flipping out. Saying I'm gonna have to back pay her etc which isn't true I give her $$ every payday. She just kept saying I hate you. Wow I wanted to say who are you. Also kept saying this is all my fault. I don't get her I really don't she is evil
Yup .... Spew Jackets are on sale at Starskys Corner.
DNT .... might want to start setting some boundaries, there is not a reason to take any verbal abuse ... when she starts simply anbd calmly tell her that you will not be spoken to in such ways and when things calm down you are open to discuss the issue ( Make sure you say THINGS .. not HER as that will come across as an attack)
It really makes me realize a lot of things. I've felt with this verbal abuse from her for years and I don't deserve it. Maybe this is what is best for me at this point. I love her but damn
I was the same. My thought process back then was ... hey not a big deal why create more waves, no need to fight over this. Feeling I was the bigger person ... however that was how I justified it ... in reality I was avoiding conflict, as a result the resentment built, for me .. for her. Then the Passive/Aggressive behaiviors from us both escalated. Over months and years ... what really happened was W lost respect for me. Not only with issues like this, but just me as a person and as a man ... I never stood up to her, never challenged her. In short ... I was not the "Man of the House" .... not one she respected anyways ... we were not even Equals as I put her up on a pedastal and worshiped her in several ways.
During this whole process, and it takes time. I had to rediscover myself, then once I did discover 'me' I learned there was a seriously hurt little boy there. So I dealt with him, and rebuilt. I have promoted "Cali 2.0" here for some time .... it was how I got through this, how I made the changes I needed to make, not for my M nor my W ... but for ME.
This is where Detaching& GAL come into play which really help you with PMA ... then when you are more in control of yourself you can sprinkle some 180's in and monitor the results.
Did you and ur wife actually divorce? It played out like this for you too? She also says I don't care about her cause I'm doing this and I never have etc
Did you and ur wife actually divorce? It played out like this for you too? She also says I don't care about her cause I'm doing this and I never have etc
No we did'nt ... we were very very close and at that time I was ok with it knowing I would be fine with or without W. My story is nearing up on 2 years now ... as Cadet has said in several threads, the LBS has much more power about this than they realize. She will say many things, some meant to inflict pain, some to ease her guilt, some to justify her actions ... remember .. believe none of what they say and only 50% of what they do .. those words are gold.
Have you read Wonka's Boundary thread yet? Pure gold.
Hang in there, please. You can do this.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Ya I did. This is just getting real ugly at this point and I'm not even fighting her she's doing al the fighting. I seriously am confused am I doing something wrong here. She has made it past any point of reconciling which [censored] cause I had hope. She txt me saying I hate you I don't want anything to do with you ever, I am not your friend I am nothing to you. Like seriously wtf did I do that made her think of me like that. Will she ever wake up and see what she's doing/did
I think I understand. My WAW has done the same thing. Your W's emotions are out of control now. I know, as much as anyone, it hurts to read such comments. My advice: Ignore them!
Remember, hate is the opposite of love. A worse message would be that she has no feelings for you at all. Apathy is worse than hate.
Try to stay as positive as possible and do NOT reply to such "vicious" texts. She is testing you.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
