1. No R/Om talks...stalks...thoughts longer than 15 minutes for one month. 2. Plan a GAL trip for your kids... Pick them up and DO something fun 3. Join a group... Anything ... Softball, church, excercise class...nothing bar/drink related... But something totally out of your comfort zone and stick with it 4. Try Meetup ... Pick one ...like a movie night 5. Dance lessons 6. Knit with old ladies 7. Don't ask me for ideas... See where this goes? 8. Streak through the quad
right before I dropped my kids off I did something that was rather spontaneous and EXTREMELY fun and memorable. I watched a video with my kids about the worst parts of any video games ever. There was a part of MTV's "Pimp my ride" video game when you have to ghost ride, which means your character has to leave his car idling down the road while walking along side and doing goofy dance moves. Apparently this is the new pimp thing. So in this video the guy that's making fun of it does it in real life, he's dressed like a pimp and has tunes jamming out of his car (and it's like an old Dodge Neon) and he's walking along side of it while it rolls shouting phony rap lyrics and doing these terrible dance moves.
Point is we all laughed our tails off...so right before I dropped the kids off I pulled into an empty parking lot and I queued up the song from the video, threw open my door, and jumped out of the car and started twirling around and shouting out the stupid lyrics...just for like 5-10 seconds, then I jumped back in my car and shouted "ghost ride baby!". My kids DIED laughing. They thought it was the coolest thing ever. It was all they could talk about for the last half hour we were together. They went from a moment of panic when they saw me jump out of my car, to thinking I'm like the coolest dad ever. So it made me pretty happy to end on that note. As long as it doesn't somehow prove I'm a dangerous dad in court in 2 months...
Last edited by Zues126; 08/06/1504:10 AM.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
BeClem, looks like you've been getting some good advice. Cali has kindly suggested some goals, but these truly need to be yours. And this all links back to knowing yourself and looking at what YOU truly want in life going fowards - with or without your W in the frame.
I'm looking forward to seeing your shift of focus - away from trying to control what your W is doing....which causes a desperate whirlygig effect as we have just seen - and onto that which you CAN control - YOU!!
Good luck my friend..
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I'm sorry to hear this. Now, you need to look at this as a business partnership that has gone south. No more discussions w/her about anything except paying the bills and the children. Everything else...go to your lawyer and allow him/her to work w/her lawyer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I texted my lawyer to let him know. The agreement drafted up by her lawyer is not something I will agree to. So this process may take a while.
The only peace I have right now is knowing that one day, when my little boy and little girl are grown, I will be able to look them in the eyes and tell them I did all that I could to keep us together. Did I make mistakes? Yes. Were my efforts perfect? No. But I fought a good fight for noble reasons.
But I do feel like I failed them because my efforts did not produce the intended results. I know we talk about how DBing is about us. But really we all come here with the same goal: to save our marriages and our families.
In that. I have failed. But I can always take solice in the fact that I didn't give up and did the best I could.
Sorry man. I'm right with you on all of this. I was to served two weeks ago, we will get through it man. One door closes and another opens. Keep your head up and just work on you. And focus on the kids, they really need you to be there at this time.
