have i been making mistakes too long

[tkdmme]

I am so sorry. As I'm sure you know. This is a nightmare. I can't focus at work. I've lost 40 pounds. I don't want to see any friends. I don't enjoy anything that used to make me happy. I know this will pass and my life will return to normal but in the right now I'm absolutely sick over it. It even hurts to see my kids. We can get through this and for some reason it helps me to know I'm not alone. However I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

[tkdmme]

I understand.

[sandi2]

We are spending a great deal of time together and This seems to push her farther away.
She has always spent more time on the phone with her sister than talking to me but now its ridiculous.

Have you read Divorce Remedy? If not, get it ASAP. Have you read Cadet's threads he gave you? These are important. If you were reading the threads, you should have seen that spending more time with her is not the answer. It is pressure to her and pushes her away.

I think her excessive phone talk probably tells the story. It's not all sister conversations. The fact she can't give you more reasons for wanting a D sounds suspicious.

If her mother is encouraging her to leave you, that is a strong influence on your W.

You need a plan.

[tkdmme]

I have read all the threads the cadet sent but have not read the divorce remedy. Also, her mother doesn't want her to leave. She has been pressuring her to work it out with me. This is a very close family and we all live within a few miles of each other so everyone is upset over this. As far as spending time together, we haven't in the past several weeks. Her family invites us both over for dinner frequently and we all attend the same church. I can't figure out how to detatch within this situation. My kids want me to go to these dinners and to church with them.
I can't financial move out. Any ideas?

[tkdmme]

how do I enable private messages?

[Cadet]

how do I enable private messages?

You don't.

PM'ing is disabled on DB.

[tkdmme]

so why does the envelope keep flashing. Sorry for the stupid questions.

[WhyUs]

Tkd,

Hang in there. I was right where you are 4 weeks ago. It is tough but u will get through it. Are you seeing a pshycitrist? Medication may help. Are you Dawg or Yellow Jacket?

[tkdmme]

Yes I have seen a doctor which was weird because my doctor is her brother so I went to someone else. The doctor gave me meds to help me sleep and that has been great. I cant function without rest or make good decisions. I am also seeing a counselor who is helping tremendously. I feel like I am reaching a turning point. I am trying to detach but having a hard time living there with her and the kids.

I have a new project starting in Charleston SC in November so I have to make it through until then. I haven't lost hope and still want my marriage to be restored but I cant deny that im excited about working on myself.
We moved to Georgia to be closer to her family against my wishes. And we have been here 10 years. Since we have been here I have lost myself.
I used to work part time as a piano player for several jazz clubs where we used to live and I am hoping to start doing that again.
This all seems so crazy. This is the first time I have ever been on a forum or anything like that. I cant believe how many people are in the same situation as me.

I dread going home everyday.
What do you mean Dawg or Yellow Jacket?

[WhyUs]

I know it is tough. I have never done a thread or anything prior to this either. I was shocked to see how many people are going through this. We only see the people on this board. No doubt it is an epidemic.

I saw you were in Georgia so I figured you would have a team. Georgia Bulldogs or Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Most people in GA choose one or the other. Now I see that this may not apply to you as you are from a different state.