Time has come...

[DNTWNT]

Well got served my D papers today, stbxw is being so mean and cruel, saying she has never been happy, and says we are both miserable etc. why is she so quick to file for D. She claims to be protecting her self. I'm not 100% but sounds like there may be someone else influincing her. This is all crazy to me, how could she not just give her marriage a shot. Says this is best for all 3 of us. How is that the best for my D. Idk feeling really confused/broken/drained. She also says this is all my fault we are here cause of me. I did this like seriously I feel I don't know who she is, she is not the woman I married. I need help guys!! Advice


http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2591135&page=all

[DNTWNT]

This all started 3 weeks ago today

[wife552]

I'm sorry you're here and have been served with D papers. Like EYETIE requested, could you post a bit more about your situation?

All the things you posted sound pretty typical. I'm not saying that makes it hurt less, but it's to be expected that she's going to blame you, exhibit cruelty perhaps, or be influenced by others.

Right now, she really does believe this is best and that it's your fault. And no, she's not the person woman you married but she may see you differently too. Are you still the man she married? A big part of this process is self awareness.

It sounds like you need to protect yourself right now. Have you retained a lawyer that can help you with the divorce and provide legal advice? This will be a top priority, especially with a child involved.

Have you read the divorce busting books? Have you looked through some of the threads here regarding detachment, getting a life, etc.? Those are great resources for your perusal.

Keep posting and stay positive!

[DNTWNT]

I'm trying but I'm devastated at the same time. It hurts

[ILYNOT]

Hang in there, I know your pain, it is a tough spot to be in, just know that if you have faith, things will turn around.

"Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh."
~ Luke 6:21

[WhyUs]

My initial advice is that if you are begging. Pleading, or crying for her to come back or work things out stop immediately. I mean this. STOP now! No exceptions and find out more about DBing before you make things worse.

[DNTWNT]

I have not begged or pleaded. I'm just going along with what she wants, I've told her this isn't what I want, but I will do it for you. I have no contact to. Im just a mess, trying to do the best I can with all of this. It's just moving so fast

[WhyUs]

That is good. Yes, my wife moved really fast as well. Then I found out about the A after she said she wanted a divorce. I would not rule out an A. She seems very confident in moving fast which is a sign to me. However, I do not know enough about your sitch to really make that assumption.

As you post more information people will be able to provide you with better advice.

[DNTWNT]

I posted my first thread above, I know we have had problems but to me they were problems that are fixable. Also the fact that she said she was willing to try but was scared. Then the next day no contact and it goes like that for a few days and bam I get served and she's saying she's doing what's best. I don't agree with it. It's almost as if she hates me and we've never had a good time together and the last 6 years have been a lie. I just don't get it

[WhyUs]

DNT,

That is my exact story. My wife used the same lines. It is crazy how it happens. I know it is tough. It is tough on all of us. This board has been a saving grace for me. I am trying to trust the process even though I do not have much hope for my situation anymore.

Remember, many times they are not rational, especially if there is an A involved. So to trying to rationalize their behavior is an exercise in futility.