No mind reading. What went on at command central stays at command central. If something did happen and it works for you or against you you will soon find out.
At least you got through last night without a spewfest.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
So, call from W this afternoon. 'My bank card has been declined. What have you done to the bank account?' (note the immediate blame game). Me 'Nothing. I will check it out'. W 'Yeah, you sort it out'. I ended conversation.
Checking out bank account, and W appears to have spent a bit more than she thought whilst she was away. I walked home and asked her whilst we were still together, for her to watch what she spends from the joint account. Apologises spilling from her followed by her trying to list what she spent and where. I decline her offer of an explanation (that would be controlling) and she says she will be very careful, again apologising.
So, I think that was handled pretty well, showing detachment and control of emotions of what could be a flashpoint.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I also get the immediate 'it's your fault' whenever something isn't quite right. But instead of 'I'll sort it' I adjust to 'I can't help/explain that' because it has nothing to do with me. Happened a couple of times when we were still living together. Quite something when you actually get to the source of the issue but it'll be forgotten by tomorrow.
I'd also hold back on the looking into things. She's a big girl and she wants to be on her own. Away from you so what happens when you separate? Who's going to look into her card being declined then? Remember. You aren't her husband any more. Let her sort her own sh!t out. And if it turns into a spewfest just put your spewfest jacket on. See starsky for special offers.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
It's a tough one but you need to do it. When I first came home man, the spew was unreal. I just let it slide. Inside I was cut up but outside I was cool. WW hated every minute of it. Not my problem was my attitude. The only things I did do was fix a couple of things that affected the lot of us(heating, electricity in the garden but) but other than than she was on her own. Quite something to watch when a WW starts to lose control of the situation.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Mini spewfest last night. Apparently, It's me who has been complacent about money whilst W was away that meant she overspent. Just validated and she went off to the bath. I think she is finally realising, again, that I'm not running anymore and she's getting angrier.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Yea, I've seen similar many a time. They have a different perspective on the world from the rest of us. At least you didn't get into a fight. Good for you.
It's pretty much the same as everything else that's wrong in the world. It'll be your fault. This will only change when she's standing on her own two feet. Cast your mind back to when my WW wanted me to rent a flat. I presented every argument against that but she didn't care what I had to say. Now she's discovering everything I said was true but she has to learn this on her own. I'm not there to support her anymore.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
