Ep, just wanted to stop by and say hi. The GAL is important, it's what has saved my sanity. It keeps me busy, allows me to explore things I would never have tried before, and most importantly I've met new people and been able to see myself through their eyes and not just STBX's view.
There are lots of shared parenting models out there, your mediator can probably help with that. When STBX first moved out he proposed one model, I proposed another, we finally agreed on a third. We are both flexible when we need to be. If you focus on the children, it will work out.
Thanks SunnyB! I haven't been able to find any examples where the spouses work opposite schedules. Since he works in the restaurant industry he doesn't have weekends free so those don't work. I have a fex options written down and will go over them with the mediator on Wednesday.
GAL is not working today since my 4 year old is refusing to get out of his PJ's or leave the house today. It is quite cute though so we are spending a lounging day together
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Haven't spoken to H since Thursday morning. He just texted that he will let me know when he is on his way over to pick up S tonight. I wonder if he will even notice the house changes.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
something I have been thinking about a lot is what I did contribute to our "growing apart". A big complaint of mine is that H never made time for us or wanted to make plans with S and I. When I would make plans or do things when he said no then he would get resentful and angry that I am taking the time away from him spending with his son. I am going to try and hard and not ramble here.
Example - H wouldn't get home from work until 1 or 2 in the am from the restaurant. I know he needs to sleep in so I would take S and meet my dad for breakfast to let him sleep. Then he would be mad at me for being out before he had to go to work. So he expected me to sit at home and wait for him to wake up around 12 so that he could spend 2 hours with us watching TV before he had to go to work again.
This is something I am struggling with on how to 180. I of course wanted him to go to breakfast or whatever the occasion was but the answer was always no, always. My love language is quality time so I was just as hurt that wasn't being fulfilled. I should have spoke up but I was weak.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
That was quite rambly. I would make it back to the house so that we could see him before work, I should probably clarify that. I just realized I typed he was mad for not spending time with S before work. That is such an eye opening sentence, he never mentioned spending time with me. Hmm
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Today H is meeting with the parenting plan coach and tomorrow I go, next week is the first collaborative divorce meeting with us all together. I am prepared with my plan options and reasons why it is best for the child. I doubt he has prepared for the meeting. He probably thinks the plan we have now will stay as is and hasn't done a thing.
He did look like crap last night. He gets a rash on his head when he is stressed and it is back in full force, I could tell. Bags under his eyes. I on the other hand looked great, even though on the inside, not so much.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
EP, I am so glad you are excersizing ... Besides looking your best there are some pretty powerful emotional benefits. Kudos.
How are you doing on the getting out and doing front? There are tons of great ideas around for activities outside of the house. (Not saying a pj day once in a while is not fun, but getting out has really made a difference to so many people here)
Look forward to hearing some activities for you! I do understand s4,is not a perfect age for this...but you can find ways!
hi Zephyr - We have been out and about and my sisters made a pact with me to keep me busy on the nights I do not have S4. Tonight we are going to see Jurassic World and on Thursday it is the shooting range. Great stress reliever!
It feels so good to be exercising again. Being a single mom even though I was married left me with no me time. All of my energy was always focused on S4. I am taking that back! He is finally at an age where he can understand Mommy needs 20 minutes.
I was going bonkers being in the house all day Sunday. I finally convinced him to go to the playground and play outside for awhile.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
