Sorry to see this turn of events Matt. I want to thank you for redirecting my thoughts and make me examine how I was acting towards my wife. I hope you will not leave over this. Your insight and advice are much appreciated.
It kind of sickens me to think that your wife was watching your threads and knew your every move and thought. I would feel violated by that. This is an anonymous board. None of us know who Mrs. Matt is. You had nothing but good intentions and wanted to save your marriage. Best of luck to you in the future and the next lucky girl you meet. Mrs. Matt, you don't deserve this guy!
Me: 33 W: 30 T - 12 M - 3 K - 0 BD - 6/14/15 Moved out - 6/14/15
I'm so sorry to hear about this. It is true that DBing is a strategy, and I can understand that a spouse may feel manipulated to find that techniques have been used to try and save the marriage.
However, I believe the motive is the important thing here, and I believe that Matt used those techniques honourably, and in the hope of saving his marriage and keeping his family together.
Mrs Matt, whilst I understand your anger, and I would encourage you to read both DB and DR. And particularly think about the 'divorce trap' and MWD's perspective and experience on this.
I hope you guys find a way forward that is right for you both. Matt, I have gained a lot from your postings on this site. I think you have learned a great deal, and your posts to others have helped them so much too.
I truly wish you well for thr future my friend.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
This blows. I really hope your wife realises that this isn't about manipulation or violation or playing or abusing, but is in fact an act of love. To have the introspection and insight that you have shared here. Helping others and at the same time helping yourself to try and save your marriage and your family tells me you are a stand up guy.
I don't think you should feel ashamed. I think you should feel proud.
Peace my friend
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
matt777. You are a good man. You worked hard to save your marriage and became a better person in the process.
Thank you for taking the time to share your insights and help so many others here.
Best of luck for the future. You deserve to live and to be loved. I am sure that will happen, one way or another.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Sorry to read this Matt. Can I just say I found this site by typing " how to save my marriage " into Google. I'm sure most of us did the same
Mrs Matt may not want the marriage but you obviously did. You grew as a person and became a man only a fool would leave.
Mrs Matt. If your still reading please give yourself time to think and look at Matt and what he did to attempt to save his marriage All was done from love
Divorce is not always the answer but it's your life
Well, I had planned to stay off the boards and did so - refusing to post on my own sitch, but wanted to drop in and see how others were doing. This clearly caught my eye...
Matt, you've been such an inspiration and beacon of hope to me and many here - indeed, a good friend. Thanks for everything you've done to encourage me. It's been wonderful watching you grow day by day, making the changes you need to make to be a better man and, God and your W willing, a better husband.
As for your W - no matter what is going on in your marriage and separation, and no matter how you feel about your husband's participation on this board, you must be a good and worthy woman for Matt to have fought so hard to be the man you deserve, and to fight for the marriage and family to which he committed. You will do what you have to do, of course. But I do hope you'll take time to reflect on that. I know I can say I wish my W loved me half as much as Matt loves you.
God bless you both, and all the best in the life for you and your daughters.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
Matt, I want to thank you, as you have helped me out so many times with your positive attitude, good advice and humor. You are one of the most encouraging people on this board. You will be missed by ALL of us.
Ms Matt, I don't know you or Matt personally but you are losing a great man. I saw his growth from the day he joined us.
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Matt, you were one of the first to help me when I got here. Your advice, and way you conduct yourself on this board are inspirational. You have help so many people in crisis.
At my lowest point, you were leading the pack telling me to get up and don't quit. If it wasn't for this place and people like you I would have stayed depressed and pushed my H farther away.
Now we are both working so hard to save our 28 year relationship. I'm finding myself again and GAL. Thank you Matt for all your help.
Ms Matt,
I believe it's Dr. Phil who says, "Every relationship needs a Hero". Ma'am I hope you see Matt is trying to be yours
Sorry to read about this this morning. I've been following your sitch. You've given me advice before. I know you just really meant well for your marriage, for your family. I am hoping and praying for the best for you and the kids.
