Thank you to all and goodbye to my W

[HurtJef]

Matt

You will be truly missed. You have been so supportive to a newcomer like me and so full of advice.

I'm sorry that your wife took what you were doing as manipulating and playing games. It's a shame that she can't see that these forums are a form of self help to help us become better men/women and help us to be accountable for our sitches.

You have handled this with grace and impressive maturity, too bad it looks like your stbx hasn't. Praying for you and your family.

Jeff

[Elly4]

Matt, I am so sorry this happened. You have been a beacon of hope and encouragement to us all on this thread. Keep up the good work on yourself and hopefully your W will see that this has all been because you wanted a better life for yourself, her, and your kids.

E

[WhyUs]

Matt,

I was looking forward to reading about your sitch all day. I am sick over this. To your wife, i know it must feel hard to read this. I understand how you feel manipulated. I am sure you are upset and hurting right now. Please make an effort to understand that all of this was out of love for you. A person loves you so much they would do anything to get you back.

Praying for both of you.

[PigPen]

The man has 1600 posts in 3 months on this board. If he wasn't talking about how to learn, grow, and save his M, then he was doing pulling people out of the darkness of their situations, giving encouragement, and/or helping in any way that he could. I can't tell you how many times I read about someone in dire straights, and the next post was, "Next time you're feeling awful, try feeling awesome!" or something like that.

I look forward to watching your TED talk or buying attending your motivational seminar Matt.

If I found out my spouse was of that much service to others in need, I would bawl my eyes out our of love and respect.

Matt, I'll say it again, you are a true gentleman. Your energy, tireless devotion to your family and tireless devotion to those of us on this board is absolutely incredible. I believe in karma and KNOW that your deeds, actions, and the love you've shown will return to you.

Cheers again,

PP

[Zues126]

You know, years from now we'll look back at the breakdown of our marriages and wonder if we could've done things differently.

Since BD I have a DB coach, and IC, and of course a L. I instructed my L that I wanted to be very fair, even if it meant being on the side of unfair in STBX's favor. And of course I've been going to church so you could say I have a 4th coach as well.

Point is that EVERY major decision that I've made has been with unanimous support of all three of these professionals. Whether it was when I moved out, to when I separated my finances, to when I stopped returning her texts after she got too nasty, etc.

The benefit to me is that I'll never regret any of the steps I took. I was in over my head. I asked for help. I acknowledged that following my own emotions or trying to control things didn't work for me or my loved ones. And then, with the support of these forums, I walked the difficult road I had to in order to become a better man, father, and future husband.

I know my STBX has made up her mind that I am a villain, and I'm at peace with that. I'm not even debating it or defending myself. I just know that I'll never feel any regret and that I did absolutely the best I could to navigate, grow, and stand strong when STBX wasn't able to.

Keep on keepin' on Matt...

[gr8ful3]

Matt,

Although we didn't have any discussions, I really enjoyed your posts and was always amazed at your kind words and generous spirit. I hope one day your wife will understand how hard it is to have to come to this board to discuss what is happening in your M. It's not like we want to be here.

Keep moving forward and working on yourself. You have so many wonderful people who care about you.

I will keep you your wife and your family in my prayers.

[mahhhty]

Mrs. Matt,
I'm sorry that you feel the way you do. Matt came here to vent, learn and grow.

I'm obviously not in your circumstances with your experiences. But perseverance, faith, and hope are good traits for a person to have.

Please remember the grass is not greener on the other side. Grass is green where you water it.

Hard work always pays off, and only when you are at your lowest is growth potential at it's highest.

[Matt777]

I've read through all of your posts and I can't begin to describe how much they mean to me. All of you have helped me to see the light at the end of the darkest tunnel I hope to ever experience.

While I hate that you may see this as a game, W, I believe that I have stumbled onto an incredible place where I have been supported and I am able to support others. I continue to believe that this was the best chance I had to save the marriage I treasure.

I don't know and don't really care if you read this or any other post of mine. All I know is that the man that you left on 4/20 is not the man I am today. From this site and from my coaching, I have learned about respect, trust, independence, and love. I now know the path I want to take with my life and I can accept if you would choose not to take it with me.

While you may think think that this journey that I have taken has been about you, W, as you can see from the 25 odd posts to date, it has been about ME. I will continue to grow into the man I believe I can and should be. I will continue to improve on the things that I could not provide to you during our marriage. I will, of course, continue to be the best dad that I can be to my two amazing children.

I cannot control your thoughts or your actions, and I continue to wish you the best, W. I also continue to be willing to work on our marriage and our relationship, if that is something you believe in. But as I'm sure you know from reading every word on 15 threads, I cannot guarantee that that offer will stand indefinitely.

Thank you again to everyone. Out of respect to my W, I will not post detailed information about our interactions. But I hope to someday continue to share the knowledge and insight I have learned with others to help them in their journey.

[V2pt0]

No!! Matt, I am devastated to hear the news. You and I both joined within weeks of each other and you have been a great inspiration and support to keep me going. You are going to be missed by so many on here. I wish you all the best and my thoughts are with you.

Mrs. Matt,

I can understand why you feel the way that you do, but please know everyone joins this forum, including your husband, from a place of love and devotion. Matt wanted nothing more than to do everything in his power to learn how he could be a better spouse to you and save your marriage. That is nothing but admirable, especially considering so many spouses would have just given up. Matt on the other hand looked in the mirror at himself and chose to work to make himself a better person. In addition, he helped many others on here stay positive through his kindness and motivation. Please consider taking just half of the effort that you are using to divorce into saving your marriage. It will make a difference.

You marriage and husband are worth fighting for. Please don't make the same mistake as so many others.

[jedi]

Matt,

As has been pointed out over and over again above, you've been such a great addition to this board. Your posts to others have always resonated with me, and I firmly believe you have helped not only myself but everyone else here through the most difficult times of our lives. This board has been so much more helpful than the counseling I've been attending, and you are a key component to this.

To Mrs Matt:

If you are still following, I hope you can put aside your feelings of violation and manipulation long enough to see that from the very beginning Matt is here, along with all of the rest of us, because we want to SAVE our marriages.

This is not a game, not a ploy to get even, not an attempt to force anyone into doing anything. Its simply about not giving up on our loved ones, our families, and the belief that when we said 'till death do us part' we actually meant it.