PigPen's Dropped Rope - WAW and Waiting (4)

[25yearsmlc]

How about this for a reply?

Dear W,

I wasn't going to mention this as I know it'll cause hurt feelings, but actually, I did ask the dog. He chose me.


PigPen

PS

I'm still willing to share "every once in awhile"

[25yearsmlc]

I agree you do Not need a counter point to all of what she says. However, you can succinctly say a general statement that counters her arguments such as

"Notwithstanding your claims to the contrary, I think Woof enjoys AND benefits from affirmations I provide as another source of love in his life, etc.....

(PIGPEN now that I think about it, I wonder if there's even a negative to you just dropping out of his life, for the dog I mean. Meaning, can dogs come to FEEL abandoned by an owner? I'm just pondering this now, not sure what I think but it's worth reading about I think. If it were a stepchild, it would concern me.)

She will tune you out if you go on for long or if you do a counter point, which is another reason NOT to bother doing one.

I think the differences between pet owners Can be good for pets, meaning for instance, my h takes our dogs out for runs whereas I throw a ball with them more. Both activities benefit the dog; they're just different. And It's Not as if we train them differently with behavior. (okay I admit it, I DO give them people food when h isn't around....


But keep it short and get to the part about WHEN you want the dog, quickly.

And maybe down the road, open your mind and heart to the idea of another dog in your life...there are so many great dogs in need of a home...

I'm NOT saying to give up! But we just lost our oldest dog in March, a very beloved family member.
I was reminded of how short dogs' lives are, relative to ours. So it's not as if you'll never have another dog in your life, ( maybe having another dog would be an asset to your dog, having a play mate??)

I wonder at some point, IF a battle is not winnable, when is it time to move past it?

Just food for thought, okay?

[Bob723]

How about this for a reply?

Dear W,

I wasn't going to mention this as I know it'll cause hurt feelings, but actually, I did ask the dog. He chose me.


PigPen

PS

I'm still willing to share "every once in awhile"

Hi PigPen,

I love 25's reply! Hang in there, my friend.

Bob

[PigPen]

Tester email. Any thoughts Wonka? Too long?

Sounds like Dog has a great life down in City with you. It feels good to know he’ll be happy wherever he is. I agree that sending him into multiple new environments was probably a bit much for him to handle in MONTH. Fortunately we don’t have to do that again, now he can be between two routines that he knows well and places that he’s familiar with.

I appreciate your email and the reasons why you feel he should end up with you, however I’m simply not ready to have that discussion in earnest right now. I just want him back for a bit.

I want to run around the backyard here with him, take him to BEACH and throw the ball, watch him play with Friend Dog, and lie and bed and read with him. We have a blast together and I take impeccable care of him.

Last time he saw me was over three months ago and I don’t want him to think that I have abandoned him either W. This was important to you in MONTH and it’s important to me now. Since my Spanish is impeccable, I’m also more than happy to chat with him about where he wants to end up.

Two months is a long time I might have gotten ahead of myself there. I’ll take him for two weeks and drop him back off, should give me a good dose of DOG time. If you were to travel and need to drop him somewhere, you would. This is no different. I trusted you with him when I went to X and trusted that I would be able to have him back for a bit when I got home.

I can come down on Friday evening and pick him up from WORK if that’s easiest for you, as well as anytime on Sunday. Please let me know which is more convenient.

Thanks,

PP

[Wonka]

PP,

Too much. Too wordy. A tad much too defensive.

A word about "multiple" environments. We are not talking about "multiple" here...it is just your and W's house. Dogs are simply happy as long as they have shelter, food, playtime, and lots of TLC.

Again, whittle it down to one short paragraph.

[PigPen]

Ok, will chop stuff off. The reason I put multiple locations in was because when we first separated d.o.g. and I moved into my business partner's house, then back to my house, then into my new sweet studio apt, then down to the house my W was staying in, then back to my studio, then into her condo.

She mentioned that when he moved into the condo he was clingy and upset and wouldn't eat...therefor he should not come back with me this time. I was using the multiple locations comment to dismiss that without going point by point.

I'll knock it down and re post it.

PP

[PigPen]

How about this Wonka. You're just like my editor! Every word chopped is like a limb cut from my body but alas...

Hi W,

I just want him back for a bit, I miss him, and again - he’s my dog too. Last time he saw me was over three months ago and I don’t want him to think that I have abandoned him either W. This was important to you and it’s important to me. Since my Spanish is now impeccable, I’m also more than happy to chat with him about where he wants to end up.

Two months is a long time, I get that. I’ll take him for two weeks and drop him back off, should give me a good dose of DOG time. If you were to travel and need to drop him somewhere, you would. This is no different. I can come down on Friday evening and pick him up from WORK, as well as anytime on Sunday. Please let me know which is more convenient.

Thanks,
PP

[25yearsmlc]

Hey Pigpen, I'm not trying to be confusing. But to me, below this sounds as if you agree with her reasoning But you "just want him back for a bit."

Is that how you really feel? If so, by all means, make the request of her...to share an animal you both owned.

But if it's Not how you feel, you can still briefly express that and then make a calendar for when the times are most convenient for you both.

Otherwise, you are surrendering and simultaneously "asking" her for time with him, as if its a big favor SHE is doing for you. Is that how you see it?

Was this her dog before you all met or a dog you both got?

She wants out of the marriage and left the family home, is that right? I KNOW she had her reasons, but still, imo, she does Not get to take whatever she wants and then IF she feels generous, she'll toss you a scrap off her table "Every once in awhile"> WTF?

As an Army veteran and wife of, we moved A LOT. I mean, more than 17 times in 24 years. We always had a dog with us. Temporarily we left our lab with an inlaw while we resettled in housing, in Alaska. That was a HUGE change for all of us. The dog LOVED Alaska. She adjusted in 2-3 days.

In short, our dogs felt at home - where we lived! Our family is what made the home and your presence is what "home" is, to your dog, imo.

Mainly I think your note as is, is weak sounding.Sorry.

I'll put something in or delete something and see what Wonka adds and anyone else

How about this Wonka. You're just like my editor! Every word chopped is like a limb cut from my body but alas...

Hi W,

I just want him back for a bit, I miss him, and again -W as you know, he’s my dog too.

I appreciate all your concerns. Truly, I've weighed them carefully. That's why I decided not to ask for him to live with me full time.

However I think the value of the R between 'woof' and me wasn't fully realized at your end. To be clear, my r with woof is VERY important to me, & I do not want to disappear from his life, just b/c we are not together anymore.

So I propose the following dates:

Last time he saw me was over three months ago and I don’t want him to think that I have abandoned him either W. This was important to you and it’s important to me. Since my Spanish is now impeccable, I’m also more than happy to chat with him about where he wants to end up.

Two months is a long time, I get that. I’ll take him for two weeks and drop him back off, should give me a good dose of DOG time. If you were to travel and need to drop him somewhere, you would.

Sorry but I'm not clear on this^^. She would....what??


This is no different. I can come down on Friday evening and pick him up from WORK, as well as anytime on Sunday. Please let me know which is more convenient.

Thanks,
PP

I like the rest.

just my .002

[Wonka]

That's it, 25....I was searching for "weak." Yeah, that is how PP's original version came across to me when I first read it. Plus there's some defensiveness in there as well.

So, PP....back to the drawing board.

We await your new updated version.

I would re-work the opening line as it comes across as a "tug of war" here...my dog too. So I would try something different here.

You're almost there, PP.

[PigPen]

Thank you both so very much 25 and Wonka. I appreciate you immensely.

I'll get back to it once I get out of work.

Big hugs,

PP