Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 190
T
teach3 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 190
H and I started on a 30 day improvement plan. We are both working out everyday, keeping gratitude journals, and learning something new each day...right now we are watching the laugh your way to a better marriage videos, then we will move on to something else.


Me44 H47
M22 T28
D23 S17

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,647
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,647
Originally Posted By: teach3
H and I started on a 30 day improvement plan. We are both working out everyday, keeping gratitude journals, and learning something new each day...right now we are watching the laugh your way to a better marriage videos, then we will move on to something else.


Just went back to read your original thread. It's just so insane how some of this stuff goes. Wishing you the best in your journey forward together. Keep going slowly. Scared squirrel, remember!


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 569
Teach,
Just caught up on your sitch. The progress you have made in a short time is remarkable. Stay focused and resolute. Like PM said previously, you are an emotional rock. Way to go!


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 911
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 911
Teach, that is terrific that you guys are doing that together! So, out of curiosity, what did you learn today?

smile
E


M 46 / H 43
T 24/M 18
S 4
11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY
1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom
1/8/2016 H moved out

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
Has your H thought of going to see a therapist?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 190
T
teach3 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 190
Thank ya'll.

E today the video focused on how differently our brains are wired and how those differences can lead to unnecessary arguing. It was informational but also funny.

Matt and Defacto, thanks for checking in on my sitch. I am taking it slow on my side. It is still raw for me and my coach told me eventually I will have anger over the things he said and how he acted. Right now I'm just happy to be working together.

Mr. Bond thanks for stopping in! It would be my dream come true if he saw a therapist. H says he isn't opposed to going to a marriage seminar or intensive session, which is great but he would benefit greatly from seeing a therapist on his own. I have a therapist and he knows how much it has helped me. I pray he will eventually go.


Me44 H47
M22 T28
D23 S17

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
IMHO, you should go to MC and then maybe that person can guide your H to seek help personally.

While things are going well, I am afraid he will go right back to the way he was because he isn't doing the work on himself to figure out what happened to him in the first place.

Honestly, I've seen VERY few M's here who have survived without some kind of C who guide the couple in the right direction.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 911
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 911
How's it going, Teach??


M 46 / H 43
T 24/M 18
S 4
11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY
1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom
1/8/2016 H moved out

Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
Originally Posted By: MrBond
Honestly, I've seen VERY few M's here who have survived without some kind of C who guide the couple in the right direction.

Hello Teach!

I haven’t been on the board much this week, so I’m sorry if it seems like a life-time ago that I checked in with you. As always, thank you for your support. It means so much to me.

MrBond is "spot on" with his comment. Between personal experience, friends, my IC, etc. even if you get to the point of "piecing" you need a certified MC to help you both move forward.

Hang in there and try to keep a PMA.

Take care.

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,121
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted By: teach3
Husband sent a text during this trip stating that he will be home on the 24th and he will be happy. Of course I don't believe it works like that. He couldn't stand NC from me and m son. My son is very angry with him and he basically told him he didnt care if he ever came back.

My H sent me a text saying he was sorry for hurting us, that wasn't his intention. I finally had a phone conversation with him and asked how did he think we would feel...he said happy. OMG! He is delusional right now. He said we will work on us but he doesn't want what we had. That hurt because it's been pretty good in my opinion, but right now it's all about him.

I'm just trying to validate his feelings but I am extremely worried about seeing him. I have worked hard on getting my emotions under control and I don't want to go back to where I have been.

I'm calling my coach as soon as I get back. I have to be prepared. I know this is going to be a process, I just hope I have what it takes. I don't know anyone personally whose husband has flipped a switch on them basically over night. I'm so thankful for this site and my coach.


Hello Teach3,

I'm so happy you have found this site and your DB Coach helpful!

It has been a while since you posted. What has been happening?

Cristy

Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Page 9 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard