Yep named the thread after a Trace Adkin's song...
Yesterday I took my D4 to her first fishing derby, which was her first fishing experience. Disclaimer. Proud Parent. You've been warned.... Happy, fun, thoughtful, excited, mostly patient, enthusiastic and by the end tired. That's how I'd describe her at her first fishing derby. Even more proud that she caught 2 (both over 10), handled them, tried to feed them in the bucket to keep them alive, won a bike and ATE what she caught! I'm grateful Pepere was there and that the R&G Club still puts this on. First Fishing Experience = Success!
My X was in London, so I had the kids for a week. I am beat, but it was wonderful. I explained to my S this AM, that his Mom was picking him up and he was disappointed he wasn't coming back. I reinforced their relationship, by explaining how excited she will be to see him, etc, etc. I did my part, as I am sure she will be very happy seeing them.
I will only see them Wed & 1/2 of Thur. The X is taking them on vacation to see her brother down south. Their first plane experience. I am bummed I will not be there. But I'm over it. D4 has a show Thur to finish out school. I'm contemplating wearing the new suit with or without a tie. D4 would love that.
I was briefed by her Mom this AM (at daycare) that X's father's kidney condition is worse than expected and he is fatiguing more quickly than expected. He will be looking at another kidney transplant within the near future (maybe within the next year). This is unfortunate, as my X has the same disease and I am sure sees some of herself in his situation.
We have had minimal communication over the last week. A couple phone calls and a couple texts all about talking to the kids. I try to focus on doing what works. However, I don't think I am. In implementing LRT and not bringing topics to her (pursuing), we talk even less, and I've received no indications of any sort of success. Perhaps that is success.
I'd like to read situations where there was a D or a long S, in which people reconciled. I tried to find Coach and Greek's posts, but can't seem to locate them. Anyone else have recommendations of situations I should read?
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Lost... You were definitely right. I started with Crimson's first posts back in 2011 and go through to the beginning of 2012. I have felt or am feeling so so many of the things he felt. I think it is extremely important for us to remember all the people that came before us and to learn from those who have turned it around or have an opportunity to turn it around.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
I never talked about my meeting last week. It went very very well! The state is going to help us reach our goals. I have been focusing a lot of time on my startups and really neglecting my full time job, which is bad. Furthermore, next week my partner and I are going to work out of shared workspace Monday - Friday for the next two months. Another push to see if we can really make it happen. All signs point to yes! I also applied to a local school as a math and/or physics teacher. Another push to get out of the working from home life. I need to be with people.
Tomorrow my D has an end of school show, and later in the day they all fly out on vacation. So last night I spent some money new boxers, undershirt, socks, dress pants, and two dress shirts (I couldn't decide). In the changing room I was hit on by an older woman who said I was going to look really good, then she winked at me. It felt nice. Although, I used to be a size Large and shopping yesterday I was in Medium (and lost 2 inches on my waist). So that was a hit to my ego, but I am in better shape. Anyway... I also will get my D flowers for after her show, and I picked up new swimsuits and headphones for the kids on vacation. So Operation: BE A PERSON ONLY A FOOL WOULD LEAVE is a GO. At the show tomorrow will be X, X's Mom, My Mom and X's Sister (maybe X's Sister's kids). I am planning on being social and focused towards the kids. I will leave the group to take care and/or play with them. Also, I have already conversed with X to take our 2 kids out to lunch before their flight. I will not be going to the airport with them.
As for this AM. She reached out to me, out of necessity. Here is the correspondence.
X: Morning! Can you bring the kids birth certificates to my moms today? Or bring them tomorrow, which ever is easier. Thanks!
Me: Sure. Do you need copies or originals? Because of the show & the upcoming vacation I’d like to take D4 and S2 out to lunch after the show tomorrow. I can drop them off at your place after lunch. Are you okay with this?
X: Of course. We are planning to leave for the airport at 1:00, can you be at my parents by then to drop them? I need the originals.
Me: Yes.
An hour later... I called her and explained I could not find D4's birth certificate, and asked if perhaps she knew why it wasn't where it should be. Did we use it for anything, etc. I never pinned it on her in any way.
An hour later.... Me: The office looks like bomb dropped but I still can't find it. Here is the address to get another printed. LOCAL ADDRESS
X: Okay, thanks for checking!
Me: You are welcome. I wish I had found it, I'm sure you have enough to do.
X: I just talked to SISTER and she had to get one for NEICE this morning. It only took like five minutes, so no worries!
30 minutes later... X: Should I get presents for Katie's teachers for tomorrow, or have her bring them next week for her class? What do you think?
Me: I think next week is totally acceptable.
X: Okay!
Leave it to her for asking for something this important the day before. I think that is fairly symbolic of her new life, as she is an Event Planner, who never plans in her own life. Regardless, she did thank me. I take that as a win, as she hasn't thanked me for anything in many many many months. Small victories.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Leave it to her for asking for something this important the day before. I think that is fairly symbolic of her new life, as she is an Event Planner, who never plans in her own life. Regardless, she did thank me. I take that as a win, as she hasn't thanked me for anything in many many many months. Small victories.
Hey mahhhty!
I love the name of your new thread. And you're welcome...you thanked me for checking in on you at the end of your last thread. Thank YOU for checking on me the last day or so. I got a text from my W today and Wonka already replied.
Back to you, the reason I am here. I am so happy for you that the meeting went well. Good for you! I couldn't be any happier for someone. I'm also thrilled that Lost remembered about Crimson. (Thanks Lost!) As I was going thru your posts, I knew there were several success stories and, honestly, I seemed to recall a forum name that had to do with a color...hahaha...but not sure I would've rememebered. Thanks for posting Crimson's thread, mahhhty, into yours.
I am going to celebrate your "small victory" with you, if you don't mind. I agree, it is a start and seems positive. Yay!! Also, please remember not to read too much into it for your own sake. How's that for a short celebration?
Read all you can about Crimson's sitch. I will too when I have time.
For now, please take care of yourself. It sounds like you're doing as well as you possibly can.
Keep your chin up my friend and don't quit now.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I love reading all the positives in your sitch. Great news on your start-up, I was wondering about that the other day but forgot to ask...
I do have a question for you...did your X really use all those exclamation points? Funny how I noticed that, not that that means anything but she could've dropped a few! LOL
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
I do have a question for you...did your X really use all those exclamation points? Funny how I noticed that, not that that means anything but she could've dropped a few! LOL
Lost, you are a riot! LOL
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
"Although, I used to be a size Large and shopping yesterday I was in Medium (and lost 2 inches on my waist). So that was a hit to my ego, but I am in better shape."
This must be male talk because I don't understand how dropping a size and losing inches around your waist is a hit to your ego!?!?!
Last edited by lost18; 05/21/1503:26 AM.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
