The silence continues

[NDY]

Old thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2582273&page=10

From painter in the old thread..

Hi NDY, just checking in - don't you have your son 50% or more of the time? If not, why not?

Hi Painter. Thanks for stopping in.

I do get S9 50% of the time thankfully although WW is arguing for 70/30. I have no idea why her L is even attempting to argue this as the law here is very clear.

Apart from this there isn't much I can add. I took S9 round to his aunts address the other day as he forgot his phone. WW was the only person in the house and she couldn't even put her head out of the door. I predict that the meeting about S9's birthday won't last long.

[Huddy]

F****** lawyers! Money grabbing, sole destroying, heartless, misery loving bas****s. Every single one of them.

Don't think my feelings for this profession show, do you?

Seriously, your L knows that they haven't got a hope in hell of getting 70/30, but it keeps the misery and money rolling in.

[NDY]

So i've not been coming here as often these days. I feel a seismic shift going on within me. I'm now in a place where I can actually imagine a future without my WW. I'm thinking about longer term plans and how to achieve them. Is it normal to get to a place where you just think it's over and that's that?

[Huddy]

No, that's normal. I sometimes think that. In fact, I've thought that just walking back from Tesco to my desk. It's OK bud. You're not losing faith, just at a place where you can cope with it a bit better now.

It's sh1t, but a bit less sh1t than before.

[Rick1963]

NDY it is very normal to accept that it is over. Once we accept it the healing can begin. Read Sandis thread about the WW and how the LBS should react. Dont put your life on hold. Do the opposite. It takes time to get there so be kind to yourself.

[NDY]

Hi Rick. Thanks for stopping in.

I've devoured everything Sandi has written and recon I could probably recite them off by hand :-). She's right though. Moving on isn't giving up. Time to move on with life. The last 8/9 months have been terrible and for the last while I've been viewing life very differently than from before.

[Pyrite]

hey NDY,

I've had bigs ups and downs in the past week. W failed to respond to nicey "notice of intent". Requested 14 days, gave her 6 weeks, today issued her with another letter. Advising that court proceedings will be initiated in 7 days should a further non-response ensue.

My L and I can't understand why neither her nor her L have responded. Her L hasn't even responded to acknowldge receipt of the letter which would generally be a professional courtesy. She is either planning to lie and conconcting a strategy to get a headstart into the court. Or she really has no L yet at all.

Either way, the tension and further adversity this is causing is really bringing it all out. MOST of the time and I am just over it. The spew, rewriting history, oh and that little thing - the A, the OM [censored] W in my home on my off weeks. Like so many have said - however unhappy she was in the M, nobody forced to pursue this option.

And you know what - she was unhappy in the M because I wasn't just towing the line anymore, no matter what. I was in the place where she was at Xmas time - 4 years ago. I didn't give her the ultimatum then that she has 12 months to get her arse into gear, because I was scared. I knew deep down that she would just bail on it. 4 years later she gave me that ultimatum. 1 week later, I showed no signs of bailing. On the contrary I was excited to finally get he chance to work on my M. So her reaction .....KABOOM!

In reality, she would've been happy with me doing all the work then. Even now she refuses that she has done anything "wrong". Of course W - I won't rehash all the [censored]. So I'm over it. She has a long way to go before she even gets close to being remorseful. I really can't see this ever happening. And all for what? A R that was very unhealthy for me. Friends everywhere are popping out of the woodwork with stories about how I was whipped.

I'm not really angry, not right now, not in general. I am angry that she even dares to get on her high horse occasionally. She mounts, she spews, she waits for me to bite. I couldn't be bothered with her anymore. Real NC would be a blessing! "Just give me my kids and [censored] off would you". Unfortunately, this is not so easy.

So I think I get it, yeah.

[NDY]

Hey again Py

I must say if there was a competition on how terrible sitches where yours would win by a country mile. Sorry mate and I know it's not something any of us would want to 'win'.

Funny. When I left my WW was quite happy to take her sweet time with the separation. And no wonder. She had everything she wanted. The house, S9, OM and me out of the way.

When I returned and upset that apple cart her mood changed quite considerably. Surprised? No, neither was I but she still didn't go to a L but also wasn't going to mediation.

But when she left the very next day she went to a L. She did not do that the whole time from us splitting although she had plenty of opportunity should she have wanted to.

I pretty much have NC. We correspond via email or txt and only about S9. I could put up some of the weird thought patterns that go on with her but I'll leave it for another day.

Like your WW my WW also doesn't believe she's doing anything wrong. Fine, she's only breaking up a family and putting my S9 through hell. It wasn't that long ago that I used to yearn from an email from her just for some communication. Now? not so much. The last bout of emailing that Wonka helped me with was the last time I felt any attachment to the message. These days it's just like a business correspondence with a little bit of 'not bothered' attitude mixed in there.

[Huddy]

Sorry boys, but you're tied on worst sitches. Mine feels like a walk in the park in comparison.

[NDY]

Hey mate

I recon Py's living conditions trump it. I think that would drive me insane.