Off we go again on another thread! Thankfully not quite as regular as a few weeks ago.
Hi Toots (from previous thread)
I managed to shrug my shoulders when W arrived home. I said nothing and put on my best DB face. W never mentioned it either (she had received a copy in the same postal delivery) but she was spoiling for a fight, for some reason. Again, busied myself with the kids/washing. By 1700 hrs, W had calmed down again.
My theory is, going away to her parents house with the kids for two weeks, I haven't made a fuss or made any attempt to stop her in any way shape or form (last month, I would have bricked up the front door!) and that, somehow, has annoyed her. That is with my best DB hat on. W hasn't started packing yet, or doing anything like lists of things to take with her, which, again, is unusual.
Happy with myself that I didn't start a fight about L letter - a few weeks ago I would have been consumed by rage all week.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
If you've been along for the ride, thanks for coming on the rollercoaster from hell. If you're just looking in, thanks.
16 weeks in. That is a long time to be fighting the rebellion that W has been displaying. In the past two weeks, W has started to calm down and is showing very limited signs of planning for a life together. Note the word limited; it's hardly hearts and flowers.
Following on from yesterday, W asked me about L letter. I replied that she said she was going to stop all that. W said that the L had sent it on their own back! So, let's see, your client tells you to desist, yet the L carries on regardless. No wonder there is a desire to reform legal aid in the UK.
W has asked that I send the L a letter telling her to stop. As W is her client, surely she should listen to her? Anyway, once I said I would write, W calmed down remarkably and asked if I would call off my L. As she's been in the fog, she hasn't been listening; my L backed out weeks ago and I told her that. Is she hearing anything I say? Sandi2, do you have the answer?
So W and the kids have gone away for two weeks. Kids very upset, but I had to keep my DB face on and not show my emotion. W said she would ring when she got to her parents to let me know she'd got there OK, before correcting herself and saying the 'kids got there OK'. Hmmmm....I noticed that slip up, but didn't let on.
So, lots of clues that W might turn around. Two weeks is a long time. When she returns, I'll be looking my best, smelling the best (my W likes me to wear Paco Rabane..off to the shops) and the house will be pristine from top to bottom.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
W has called twice. First time to say she had got to her parents OK. Light conversation about traffic jams, speed restrictions etc. then put the kids on. Second was to let the kids say goodnight.
Nice to hear. Would like more. Patience.
If you're reading this, and not on the forum, but looking for advice, you'll have to learn patience and not overbearing your spouse/frightening them away with 'I love you's etc.'. Then join in the forum.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Patience........I find that as hard as detaching. Good to see small steps, Huddy.
Do you think I should call H to say I arrived at my mums?
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
W calls to tell me that somebody wants to view the house. Apparently I'm 'allowed' to do viewings whilst W is away! Blood boiling! Couldn't resist a 'Thanks' in reply. Annoyed with myself for letting that one slip.
Spoke to kids. S is screaming the place down (W says he's tired after journey - funny, he wasn't screaming when I spoke to him yesterday) and D says she isn't having a good time. Oops, looks like it's not going to plan for her.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Letter sent to W's L to desist, as requested by W. Seems a very strange way to deal with your client by ignoring the request, but W told me she had done it by phone, so it may have got missed.
Wouldn't mind a vet coming by and reviewing the sitch and giving a viewpoint.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
It's odd she asked you to write a letter to her lawyer. I'm no lawyer, but I can't imagine that bets is going to listen to you. "Excuse me. Can you please stop suing me? Your client asked me to write this. I swear! Kthxbye."
Anyway, keep going - looks like you've at least stopped making things worse.
Yeah, my thoughts exactly, however, W showed me her copy of the letter and the L is pushing my W to carry on, wanting a 'note of agreement'. As W is on legal aid, the L makes even more money by sending letters out. So far, that's 15 letters at £120 each (x2 as they send copies to W as well) making a grand total of £3600.
Making things worse? So far. Let's see what happens after two weeks with the SIL.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
