Hi Thriver. I would agree with Diane. Number 1. she's a big girl and she's asked for control of her phone billing. No brainer. At the moment your M is over. That's absolute crap for you but it's what your W wants.
For me , I let EXW get in with every thing and only offer help when I feel it's right. At the end of this process ( and there will be an end ) you will have wanted to take the high road.
Getting back to hope, you can always have hope it's just looking for hope from your Ws words and actions. If your W wants to reconcile you will know.
Life will get better but for now the only way is to be the best you that's posible and deal with your own life
Well, the D was supposed to be finalized next week, but I will be out of state (on vacation/GAL ) all of next week. I called the L and asked her if it would be an issue and she said she would move the court date. So now, it looks like our final court date is at least a couple of months away. Gotta love how efficient our court system is...lol
I'm not sure how I feel about this. Since WW has made no attempt to reach out to me in over a year (unless she wants a favor), part of me wants this limbo crap to be over with, so I can have some sort of closure. The other part of me wants to delay it in the hopes that WW will "snap out of it". Yeah, yeah, I know that's not going to happen and if it does, I cannot control it. So hard, I think about her a lot.
So right now, I'm going to focus on the vacation I have planned for next week and the great time that I will have. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
I had a short text exchange with WW this morning about the phone bill transfer. She is cold, demanding and selfish. I transferred the phone so she would be responsible or her own bill, as she requested. No response. No thank you. Nothing.
Did I really marry this horrible of a person?!
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
Hi Sandi, thanks for checking in on me. I'm doing alright - on a little out-of-state vacation with some of my family. Having a good time! We plan on hiking in the mountains tomorrow, kayaking and maybe hitting a brewery or 2 on the way back to where we're staying.
I'm not sure if you're keeping up with my sitch, but my D date has been moved to August sometime since I was going to be out of town. My WW still makes no attempt to reach out to me, still acts cold, distant and angry. Nothing I can do about that except stay the course on improving me. If we get D'd, then we get D'd. I'm no longer as afraid of that piece of paper as I once was, so I feel like I've had some growth in that aspect.
Sandi, I've read where you have mentioned thay the WW must experience some significant loss in order to have a chance at "breaking the fog" so to speak. I don't think my WW has experienced a significant loss. In fact, she's pretty comfortable in her current life (or so she SAYS). I will stay my course, but I don't see this resolving itself anytime soon.
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
I had a short text exchange with WW this morning about the phone bill transfer. She is cold, demanding and selfish. I transferred the phone so she would be responsible or her own bill, as she requested. No response. No thank you. Nothing.
Well, after a couple of months, I'm just checking in with the board. Not much has changed in my sitch, other than the final date for the D is scheduled for sometime in October. My WW still makes no attempt to reach out to me. We haven't talked in over 3 months and it's been almost a year since I've seen her in person. I have been doing many GAL activities and trying to not focus on her or what she is doing, but I still find myself thinking about some of the good times we had together (even though she claims "we NEVER had any good times").
I quoted the above post because after all the demands that WW made to remove her from our phone bill, so she would be responsible for the billing, I finally did transfer from my side. Unfortunately, she never completed the transfer from her side.
When my phone bill came this month, I found out that now have 2 separate plans on my bill and they are both still my billing responsibility. And since they are separate plans, the monthly total is more!
I don't understand why she asks me to do something and then when I do it, I don't receive any acknowledgement from her, and then she doesn't complete her end of the deal!
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
I'm struggling a lot right now with the concept of remorse. If you ask my WW, she says she is remorseful. In my opinion, I have not seen remorse from her. Guilt, shame, regret? Yes. Remorse? No.
From my reading, a truly remorseful WW will put their LBS and their feelings first, without question. They will take actions to show the LBS that they are truly sorry. They will move heaven and earth to heal the pain that they caused. They will setup MC sessions and go NC with the OM. They will do whatever it takes.
I have seen none of this from my STBXW - and I doubt I ever will. When she tells me she has remorse, should I respectfully call her out on it and say I don't believe her (because I don't)? She has told me on many occasions, she wants to be friends and she has remorse. She says she is showing "her kind of remorse", whatever that means?!?! How should I handle this conversation when I don't believe her.
Any vets out there have advice on what true remorse looks like, or experience with remorse and their WW's?
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
) all of next week. I called the L and asked her if it would be an issue and she said she would move the court date. So now, it looks like our final court date is at least a couple of months away. Gotta love how efficient our court system is...lol