New marriage over pt2--help she's filing this week

[PigPen]

Stay strong Aj, you're right in the middle of a [censored] storm, but it will pass. Let her go a bit crazy, she's running on emotions that have her acting out of turn. They can't last forever so stick to the basics and keep yourself as emotionally safe as possible.

PP

[Aj8]

Matt, yes I spoke to a lawyer she can't get the condo , or alimony since our marriage is less than a year. I don't like her threats and wanted to get her on it , but I kept cool.

Pigpen, this last week with the way she's treating me , makes it easier for me to focus on myself . Didn't cry or break down today .

She's not my wife , I've never seen this side of her in 7 years . Don't know who this person is ... I honestly don't think she even misses me and the spead she's going after divorce looks like her minds set.

[Aj8]

She's flipped all in less than 2 months on issues that shouldn't make one flip out like this

[Matt777]

She's flipped all in less than 2 months on issues that shouldn't make one flip out like this

That's why you can't spend time in her head. Nobody knows what's going on in there.

[Aj8]

She's making it easier for me to detach and focus on me. She's treating me like a criminal with all her hate towards me I don't get it ..honestly I don't see reconciliation with the way she's acting and her actions

[Matt777]

honestly I don't see reconciliation with the way she's acting and her actions

Can you see Alaska from your front porch?
Do you believe it doesn't exist because you can't see it?

You never know what may happen in the future, so don't focus too far out. There's no benefit in worrying about R if she doesn't want to R right now. Any energy you put into that is wasted. Just accept that it may be possible someday as long as you keep hope alive.

[Aj8]

Thanks Matt , not putting anything towards R at the moment or any energy . She's gone nuts

[ralphy]

Aj, everything she is doing right now, my W did at the beginning. She's acting out of fear. This is your chance to handle it appropriately. Stay calm and do NOT respond to any angry texts. They aren't worth your time.

Also, make sure to save every text that she sends. Do not delete anything, and check your phone settings to make sure they don't auto erase after a certain amount of them or a certain time. I lost some doozies from the beginning because my phone purged them after 50 texts.

We are all here for you buddy. This is going to test every ounce of strength you have. Lean on us.

[Aj8]

Thanks Ralphy, et all.

Did your wife ever say why she did that or even apologize? It took so much strength for me not to respond in anger over her threats to go after my condo and alimony if I don't have the ring out for her tomorrow , the same ring she took off and left here and the same ring i never said I'm keeping .

[asitis]

You're doing great on not responding in kind to her behavior. Remember that she may be intentionally or unintentionally trying to goad you into a fight. Even the L might advise her to do this so that you respond in a way that they can use against you at some point. Having your own L is a good way to both alert you to traps, but also have someone to refer her too if she escalates and becomes too uncivil.

Good luck dealing with the unpleasantries.