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I'm with Cadet and Heavy. ADs helped me tremendously in getting out of that post BD blues.


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
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Aj8 Offline OP
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Thanks guys/gals !! I appreciate everyone's support and advice . Wonka which thread has your story /update , I saw you have many posts


Me:35 W:30
7 years together
11 months married
No children
W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015
W filed for D: July 2015
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Posts: 136
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Defacto after your wife filed, you still feel there is hope . I feel like once mine files it's over frown


Me:35 W:30
7 years together
11 months married
No children
W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015
W filed for D: July 2015
Joined: Nov 2009
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Originally Posted By: Aj8
I'm still functioning

Hmm, Denial is one stage of grief.
Every one that suffers from stress/depression
probably thinks that they are fine too.

If you wont do that consider some OTC(over the counter) things like
ST John's wort and start exercising.

The big advantage of the LBS is that we dont have to be
the same as our spouses who can not admit to anything.

You want to start getting better before you have to go to the ER.


Me-70, D37,S36
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There is a section titled Another Divorce Busted that has success stories. Also, one of our members, Mozza, has put together a list of links to various members' threads who saved their M through DB methods. I will copy and paste it below.

If it is any comfort, I was a wayward wife and had my hand on the door knob ready to leave my H for another man. I give this board credit for giving me the information I needed and the support and encouragement to try again. That was eight years ago. I stick around in hopes I can pay it forward. Not many WW's on the board, so I try to give you guys a glance into the mindset of a WW/WAW.

BTW, you said you had confirmation she has not cheated. How was it confirmed?

*******************************************************************
Posted by Mozza:

SUCCESS STORIES
I update this list every time I start a new thread. Please make suggestions, especially with links to threads. I wish we had room in our profile to tell our story so that the vets and other successes could give us a quick summary.

Reconciliation
Thornton (M) - May to July 2014
Train (W) - Reconciled in 2014
Labug (W) - March 2011 to December 2013
HopefulStill - reconciled in 2012
minkerman (M) - Reconciled after 4 months in 2008
25yearsmlc (W) - 2005 to August 2008
FaithfulH - Reconciled in 2007
sandi2 (W) - 2007
Coach (M) - 2008
MrBond (M) - Used to have another screen name
Starsky309 (M) - (ChocolateEyes, Puppy Dog Tails) - Aug 2007 to 2009. Exposed his W's A.
Butterflymom127 and FavoriteWeirdo - Thread
LITB (M) - December 2010 to May 2012
Raine (W) - Dec 2012 to November 2014 (MLC)
ReachingHigher (W) - April 2012 to May 2014
SM34 (M) - December 2012 to December 2013
AliSuddenly (W) - H left in January 2008, moved out, had OW. Piecing May 2009, married July 2010
kalni (W) - BD on November 2007, piecing in January 2010
Angel61 (W)- BD June 2010, H had EA, Retrouvailles November 2011

Piecing as of 2014-2015
(newly added) Jefe (M)
T0324 (W) H leaves in Febr 2014, filed for D, had OW, piecing fails in Aug 2014, piecing again in Mar 2015
Crimson (W)
Heart14 (W) Signs 2014-02, DB 2014-07, Piecing since 2014-07
Nitty - BD in December 2013, piecing as of September 2014

Letting go
Love2Surf (M) - March 2010 to 2012
pearlharbr (W) - November 2008 to June 2010 (19 months)
Snow White (W) - 2008-2009. Let go when her H wanted back in.
Drew (M) - 2008
BigMac (M) - June 2014 to February 2015 WAW offered R at the last minute and he turned it down
Underdog (Betsey) D final in May 2005

Resources
Validation | Boundaries | Detachment | Dance of Pursuit and Distance | Acronyms | Stockdale paradox
The sandi2 collection: The Wayward Wife | It takes time | Letting back too easy
(newly added) Wonka: The Starter kit / Post-BD plan of action

Last edited by Cadet; 06/30/15 06:12 PM. Reason: edit to make links work

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Aj8 Offline OP
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Not in denial , I know I'm not myself , but I still eat enough , go to work , see some friends , family . I'm more in shock on how she just gave up , how can one say she's my soulmate just over a month ago and for seven years and just in a matter of weeks give up


Me:35 W:30
7 years together
11 months married
No children
W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015
W filed for D: July 2015
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 136
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Aj8 Offline OP
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Joined: Jun 2015
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Thanks Sandi !! Much appreciated . Confirmed through her , friends , family , closest friends who she confides in ,etc..


Me:35 W:30
7 years together
11 months married
No children
W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015
W filed for D: July 2015
Joined: Apr 2015
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Originally Posted By: Aj8
Defacto after your wife filed, you still feel there is hope . I feel like once mine files it's over frown


Aj -
There is always hope.

If I asked you a year ago today if you thought you would be facing a divorce, you may have thought I was crazy. What if I said that in 5 years, your marriage would be as strong as ever. Sounds crazy, huh?

There's lots of cases of divorced people remarrying! But for it to be successful, you can't restart the SAME marriage


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
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Originally Posted By: Aj8
Defacto after your wife filed, you still feel there is hope . I feel like once mine files it's over frown

AJ,
Sure, once they file, I'm sure the odds of reconciliation are diminished. However, there is always hope, even after the D is final. There are numerous testimonies on here of couples who have reconciled in the eleventh hour or even after the D. I find my hope in knowing that I am doing everything I can to heal and discover myself. If W wants to join me and we can work through our stuff, great! If not, I know that I have put in the work for myself and I will be happy.


Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,536
Likes: 78
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Originally Posted By: Aj8
Thanks Sandi !! Much appreciated . Confirmed through her , friends , family , closest friends who she confides in ,etc..

Fixed Sandi's post so re-read it.

Also their is a link to Mozza's thread in the resource thread that I started included with your homework.


Me-70, D37,S36
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