Hi all. Just an update. Last week has been busy enough with work couple of postitive things so pleased with that We warehouse for a company and one of the lads left after 10'years so S20 and I went out Friday for his farewell drink. Had a good time and S20 got a bit drunk so it was very amusing !! !
I have completey changed my wardrobe over the last 6 months. I dress a lot smarter than before and normally buy a few shirts , etc every week. It does make you feel better and it's nice to shop !!
I'm ordering a new crash helmet this week and can't decided to buy off the shelf or have it sprayed the same as my current one. It a real treat for me and I'm like a kid in a candy store My current design is Red Bull with the yellow Yamaha speed blocks along the side Very fetching !!
Not much on the EXW front. She called me on Wednesday and was very ill. She had a migraine and was throwing up EXW started telling me she was losing weight again and hadnt eaten for three days. She said she was losing weight and was forcing herself to eat. We spoke for about 20 mins and she called me again about an hour later about something very travail
I got home that night and EXW was still in the home When I saw her she was crying and I gave her a hug She said she was just feeling really ill and just run down. I did notice she was wearing one of my hoodies which she wore home
On Thursday I went to L/C who was quite upset over EXW and is very worried about her. She feels EXW needs more time with an l/c or I/C to help her sort out her life. L/C has offered to see EXW without charge and asked me to pass that on to EXW. L/C has asked me to stand for M and recognise EXW is going through a very tough time and lost
I was out Saturday when EXW brought D11 home and I didn't hear from her.
This morning EXW called into house on her way to work. D's had come into my bed about 3 am and EXW came into my room to see them mshe hugged D11 but D14 was fast asleep I explained to EXW that we had been bowling last night then we watched the new avengers movie so we didn't get to bed till around 1am
EXW looked a little sad so I jokingly put my arms out for a hug. EXW came around to my side of the bed and hugged me. When she let go she had tears pouring down her face. She left soon after
She called in after work for 5 mins but we only spoke for a few seconds
EXW is obviously very down but who knows what's really causing it. I don't dwell and overall my life is good. S16 and I went to warehouse to collect a truck because I have a delivery first thing tomorrow We had a good laugh and now I'm lying on sofa with D11 watching War Pigs with D14 across from us.
I'm more relaxed and I am reading a lot of heart ache on the board at the moment
I really appreciate you all talking time to check on me. I'm very lucky compared to lots of people on this board and I do realise that
You sound really positive in your post though i'll admit I'm struggling to picture red bull with yamaha blocks. Kid in a candy store is always good though - I'm having similar issues picking a holiday.
It always sounds like you've got great support from L/C which is a very good thing and i really hope your W takes up the offer of the same support.
She is very lost but that is what gives me hope for you because lost can be found, it just might not be soon. So RD centric GAL in the meantime.
It is worth saying though that you really come across as a good man and a great Dad.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Hi RD. it's slightly disappointing to hear W is still a crying mess, I was hoping she was on an upswing. Out of all the WAS here I really feel for her, she just seems miserable. But, as Jim said, you seem positive and I'm really happy about that. Hang in there, continue to be the good dad you are, and please do something that gets your blood flowing RD. You deserve it.
Hey RD, thanks for posting an update. Wow, your W sounds pretty low just now - I'm sorry to hear that. I feel for her, I truly do. As a LBS, who certainly didn't chose this path - it helps me see that I am in a much better place than she is. As are you RD.
In fact, you are sounding really good right now and I'm pleased to read that. I truly hope that your W takes up the free support offered and starts to turn things around for herself.
Take care RD xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
RD if you want cheer then visit Dawns thread, some real great happiness going on.
I see some shift in some sitches just recently, and I ponder on Edz and OD and hope there is happiness there too.
RD, you are an amazing dad and I truly wish xWW would wake up to herself. Duh!
Cant quite picture RD in a new shirt and crazy crash helmet, I hope you take the helmet off before bed time RD. I personally think Pink and Vanilla are the in colours for a crash helmet!
But what would I know
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
V is right RD, the colors are a nice treat. Even saying so it's a contradiction of what I did many years ago.
My helmet was a Honda Formula one design crash helmet and it was all black, like a robot. No shining parts and a dark visor.
At night, if I was going for a bike ride I always wore my big black boots, my leather pants and jacket (tight, bike style, full of zippers), black long gloves and my black helmet.
Sometimes it's best to just be invisible. And if you are a girl on the street those late hours, it's even better.
My bike was a Blue Honda CB 500 - not much, I did not have much money to put in a bike since I needed a car as well. But my mechanic transformed my bike into a heavy duty dirt bike because I did a lot of highway to go to work.
I also had a tall visor because highway debris. Like what the police have in their bikes. The bike was short enough for me to manage my way among and between cars. In Brasil, there is no bike space as we have in USA. There you need to ride a bike in between all cars and trucks, highway or not.
So, with a short and heavy bike I could manage to use my knees and legs and don't fall.
S17 is wanting a bike, I fear...but in the same time I feel I can't just take his time away. We will be looking into that once I get out of my mess.
And remember, I was not too crazy all the time because I never hold a license to ride a bike. So, always on the police good side. Oh well, almost always.
Love to you my lovely RD, miss chatting, dreaming. Pink
Hi Pink. Great to hear from you Love the vision of you all in black with the black visor !!! I bet you looked menacing !
Nearly all my bikes when I was young were in Pepsi colours I rode Suzuki GSXR"s and RG's. My hero was a rider called Kevin Schwantz and I wore his replica crash helmet If you google Pepsi Suzuki RG500 That's my bike back in the day !!!
In London there was a great motorbike scene and every weekend was fantastic with a lot of high speed antics You would have loved it.
When I raced motocross I always wore a Pink / bright orange crash helmet !!! and still have one
The bikes are very dangerous and S17 needs to get professional training and NOT from Pink ! !!!
My GF before EXW was into bikes but if I every needed a night alone all I had to do was pull a third gear wheelie and she would demand I take her home !!! I don't think she ever realised what j was doing for the three years we were together !!!
My S20 has been riding since he was 2 and riding in the road since he was 16. He's very safe and I've kept him on smaller engines so he gets some sense
I will post on your thread shortly and again great to hear from you.
Work is going well. Got a good bit of cash in and the company account looked really healthy for about 2 hours until I started writing cheques !!! S20 is getting really good on the forklift which is excellent but as we deal with some expensive equipment its a little worrying to watch him sometimes
Home is busy and we have been watching films and playing plenty of games this week we've been bowling , spent an evening playing air hockey in a local arcade and taking walks
Kids have been mixed this week , S20 is still tired and S16'has been quite sad but seems to have cheered after the weeks fun
D11 is down and clearly missing her mum. She spent last night at her mums and seems abit happier.
D14 had become zen like and has taken to predicting the future !!!!! She has been telling me that EXW has changed back into 'old mummy ' Since EXW left The kids have been calling her ' new mummy' because she was short tempered and less caring D14 has been telling me that EXW will be home within the next 6 months. I have been listening and last Tuesday D14'and EXW chatting on the phone and D14' was telling EXW that she was suffering with ladies problems EXW told her that she wanted to be there for D14 and wished she could just come home
Next day D14 asked EXW what she meant and EXW said she wanting to come home but couldn't at the moment because EXW and I weren't getting on
EXW called me and said she felt the anti Ds were working and she wished she had taken them 2 years ago I just validated and told EXW that the past was the last EXW was here today and hugged me twice and showed me pictures of D11s fourth birthday party that she had found The pictures were of us all laughing and having a great time I thank EXW for showing me and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She started to tear up so I made a joke and we carried on chatting. EXW was very chatty today and seemed pleased to be around me
Just finished hot dogs and chips with kids and sitting down chilling with my two beautiful Ds. We will watch a film tonight and relax
My life is good. I have a great family around me and I have no doubt I will be happy again I'm really grateful to all my friends on here because I have people who are advising me for me. No agenda and from the best place possible because you have all felt the pain.
I do realise that I'm very lucky compared to a lot of posters and I appreciate all I have.
Pink is a life saver for me and her wonderful posts bring huge smiles and lots of day dreaming !!
Toots is like a beacon for GAL and making a new life. Her posts always make me think and I find myself re reading them to get every nuance
Vanilia is like a sister who only wants the best for you and is wise beyond her years She can posts 4 words but they can say what I would take 4 paragraphs to say I look forward to her advice always
Jim. Is incredible with words and his searching questions can take me back abit and make me examine what I say as opposed to how I really feel
Sunny is always supportive and again her questions can make me really think
Lots of others post and I value everyone views and advice This forum has really helped me through this ordeal and made me realise how to improve and rethink how I dealt with things in my life. I don't lost as often because I'm at the point where EXW doesn't really influence me as she once did. I see people on here looking at every word or mind reading how the WAS is behaving every second and driving themselves nuts
I have learnt actions are all that matter. EXW has said plenty and talks of coming home but it all means nothing without actions
If any newbies are reading this , try your best to relax back from second guessing everything that your WAS is doing It took along time for them to decide to do what they are doing and you will not sort your problems quickly either. Take care of you and accept that you cannot control anyone but you. Accept that and you have taken a huge step in the right direction
Sorry for going on but I think D14s Zen is spreading !!!!
RD, I'm pleased to hear you sounding so positive - Zen-like indeed! I'm glad to hear the ADs are helping your W, and it sounds as though she is there more for the kids too.
I find it funny that she says she would like to move home, but you guys aren't getting along. I can't think of any point recently that has been anything other than pleasant. Plus, it's like she says that, but doesn't do anything useful about it - ah, WAS's....
Great that you are in a good place yourself though...that's the main thing!!!
Have a great weekend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
