I had to really put DB to one side whilst I calmed the situation down with my kids. That appears to be a lot more stable at this time, so I can now concentrate on DB.
W woke me at 0220 to tell me that she hadn't slept due to her kidney problems. Spoke to the out of hours service doctor and made an appointment for early this morning. W requested I stayed off work to get the kids to school, help her etc.
W has been to doctors and now has seven tablets to take, three times a day. Seems a lot more concilatory this time and thanked me for help. W sent me a text message from the pharmacy with an 'x' on it - I didn't reply with one; got caught out before by this.
Seems I'm useful for somethings! Saying what I mean through my actions.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Huddy, my friend. Read the book. I kid you not that you are missing so many opportunities to make this right. I've been saying this for a while now. It's within your grasp. It's right there. Read the book.
Hope for the best for you my friend. We need to meet for a pint.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
I had to really put DB to one side whilst I calmed the situation down with my kids.
What I think you'll find when you read the book is that DBing is not what you think it is exactly. It's not just about not talking to your wife. There are a lot more subtleties to it that can and SHOULD be used always.
Just waiting for book to arrive. I have tried to talk to W, but she doesn't want to.
This is where the book will help. What did you want her to talk to you about and why? Have you tied this before? Were you doing more of the same? IDK but that's where DB helps. If it isn't working stop doing it. If your goal is to get your W to talk to you then you should think about the last time you guys were talking and happy. What were you doing then that's different to now? That's what you need to think about but obviously I'm no where near an expert and the book is far better at explaining this.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
The biggest problem for me was the number of different problems that were coming up at once and then trying to get that calmed down. So, the biggest problem, as you may remember, was the threat of taking the kids away. At the moment that has subsided, so I can now look at how to try and repair M.
What do we think of this plan. W is going away to MIL for two weeks. My plan was to do NC and see what happens. Not in a nasty way, but to see if the lack of my presence may help her to pull back. Thoughts?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
The biggest problem for me was the number of different problems that were coming up at once and then trying to get that calmed down. So, the biggest problem, as you may remember, was the threat of taking the kids away. At the moment that has subsided, so I can now look at how to try and repair M.
What do we think of this plan. W is going away to MIL for two weeks. My plan was to do NC and see what happens. Not in a nasty way, but to see if the lack of my presence may help her to pull back. Thoughts?
How about this as a spin on the same plan. W is going away for two weeks. You are too busy with GAL to contact her. Thoughts?
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
No sense rehashing the past. But read the book. Quickly. It's about improving your relationships with PEOPLE. I believe the concepts are applicable regardless of the "other problems" going on.
