Hey Z, I agree with Roiste about not needing to continually apologizing for the same thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it more than once but I think the more you do it, the impact gets diminished a bit.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
You guys are right and I know it. I have held so much guilt about the problems I brought to the party and how I did not treat wife with a much respect as I should have.
Thanks Def, I am glad there are so many of you guys who see my $hit clearer than I do.
I totally agree with Roiste and Defacto! You do not need to continually apologize for the same thing. I tend to be the same way, not just with W, but others as well.
One apology is good enough.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Hey Z, I totally agree with Roiste, Defacto, and Bob.
My IC once asked me, when I was beating myself for not listening to my H, if I listened now. I said, of course! Her reply was then that's enough. You apologized and now your actions show her that you have changed. She has the choice observe or not. While your previous actions helped you get to where you are now, so did hers.
You are choosing to make yourself a better person, she is not. You are being courageous and looking at yourself honestly, she is not. I can continue but I hope you see my point. Celebrate you and continue to work on you, and ignore her.
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I totally agree with Roiste and Defacto! You do not need to continually apologize for the same thing. I tend to be the same way, not just with W, but others as well.
One apology is good enough.
Bob is right. Apologize once and move forward. You don't need to dwell on mistakes and the other party heard you. Bringing it back up serves no useful purpose.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Thanks def, Bob, E, PM and all! You guys keep me grounded and honest with myself, no question about that.
I wanted to reach out and say happy father's day to all of you, mothers too. Father's day to me has always been about family, so I wish you all a better year for your family!!!
In my life I am blessed with two beautiful children, three brothers, tons of neices and nephews, scores of aunts and uncles (hers and mine), a host of in laws and my folks and wife's parents are all still pretty healthy. Through all of this I even have a wife I still love and I believe still loves me. I will be happy today.
Through all of this I even have a wife Istill love and I believe still loves me. I will be happy today.
Brought a smile to my face. Great to hear you speak like that. Hope you had a good day.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
