Georgia, Gwen, thanks for stopping by to wish me happy b-day. I’m all for the best year and limitless possibilities! Yay!
Not much to update. H has been MIA since his text on my b-day.
Last weekend I had visitors for a couple of days. My relatives who live in NZ. They were on a long vacation, visiting different places and people, and my family was the last on their list before they flew back home. So, we spent one day at my sister’s, cooking the special meal we all like, talking and sharing the news. I haven’t seen my relatives in 20 years, so there was a lot to talk about. The second day we all spent visiting local attractions and touristy places. I was exhausted from walking all day.
And then on Monday day, I had a company (IT department) field trip. We went on scavenger hunt in down town. So, a few more hours of walking… My feet hurt for two days after that. It was a lot of fun though. We had pizza and drinks after the event.
And another GAL yesterday – bunco group with my neighbors.
Looking forward to a quiet weekend now.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Bright, You've had a busy week! I'm sure you enjoyed having your relatives visit for a couple of days. It will give you plenty to think about for a while. Twenty years is a long time...lots to talk about. I'm sure you were a great tour guide and had fun too.
A scavenger hunt? What types of things were you hunting for? How did you make out finding things? It sounded like a fun time for all...but I bet your feet and legs hurt for quite a while.
I'm glad you had some fun this past week.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Mighty, bummer about the deleted post. I want to see what else you were writing
Job, the scavenger hunt was for the places and things in down town, to find a hotel with revolving door, find a painting on the side of the building, find a person with an advertisement sign and ask him/her to take a picture with the group, find a sign on a building that has word “GO” (I did find that one in a name of the restaurant Gourmet “something” food), find a pool table inside of a hotel, or a club and take pictures with the group, etc. We have some classic pictures from that even, LOL. People just being goofy and having fun. It was exactly the purpose for this even, to get all of us IT nerds out of our shelves. I can proudly report that I was already out of my shell (thanks to DB and all the work I have done on myself) and didn’t have problems with approaching people with questions and asking for pictures.
Well, it seems like every time I post about the luck of movement inside the tunnel, H pops up his head out of it. Not a big deal, just interesting how it correlates with my feelings and internal state. I didn’t expect anything from him until the 15th, when he normally sends a text about the money transfer. When I don’t hear from him for a while, I start thinking that things are finally turning to the point when both of us are so far along the way away from each other, that it almost feels unreal that we were married. So, my thoughts were again about what I need to do to cut even that last thread that still holds us connected. I was thinking about the condo, and that I would need to make a decision to give it up at some point, so I could truly move on with my life.
So, I was getting ready to take my dog for a walk this afternoon when my phone started ringing. I was surprised to see H’s name when I looked. I didn’t answer, since I was already at the door heading out. I decided to let it go to the voice mail. But… he didn’t leave a voice mail. He sent a text instead asking me to call him if I have some time, he had a couple questions about our company account.
I called when I got back home from my walk. He said that he was driving, and that he sat in his hot truck for some time waiting for me to call him back while he was on the Internet. My guess is he was using a store or a restaurant WiFi. He was not upset that I didn’t call him back right away. He said that paid himself from the company account, but could not deposit a check, since there is no bank that we are using in that state where currently is working. He said that he would need to drive to another state to the bank. So, he tried to transfer money from the company account to his personal account. Because… He needs to transfer money to me for the condo mortgage. He also said that he called the bank and spent some time with them trying to transfer the money, but they could not. He said that there was a security question for the company account that he didn’t know the answer for (yes, I maintain the company accounts, hehe.) I told him the answer, and we both laughed because it is kind of a funny answer that I set up.
So, his concern was that he needed this transfer to get done, because he needs to transfer money to me for the condo tomorrow. This is interesting. I never demanded the money on the exact date. I’m pretty flexible about this. It almost feels like he is trying to show me how responsible he is. He totally was going to drive to another state to deposit his pay check.
Then, I decided to offer him some help (the good girl I am). I told him that I would need to pay the taxes anyway, so I could print his check from the QB (I just heed an updated file, which I would need regardless, to pay the taxes) and deposit it into his account. Funny thing is that he didn’t even ask me to do this. Maybe he was waiting for me offer it, but it didn’t sound like it. My fantasy brain is trying to think that this was a test, LOL. He said that it would be great, and it would save him some time and gas to drive to another state. I agreed that it would be a big gas expense. Then he asked me if I had his bank account. Duh… Dude? I have the old statements. And I transferred the tax money just a few months ago. Is this a MLCer mind not thinking clearly? Or, it was another invitation to exchange the info? (I know, fantasy again…)
So, he said that he will send me a file when he gets to the next WiFi spot, and asked me if I could do it tomorrow. I said, hmmm, yes, probably after work. He then said again that he needs to transfer the money to me tomorrow, unless I’m willing to wait. To which I said that I can wait and it is not a big deal.
At the end of conversation he said “thank you, Bright”.
OK, so much typing for a 6 min conversation. What I gathered is that he probably thinks that he cannot ask me for favors any longer. He pretty much relies on himself to get stuff done and trying not bother me unnecessary. He pretty much resigned to the fact that his life is not that easy and he has to deal with it. Then, I think about his request to send him his mail last month or so… and how he kind of expected me to only send him the “important mail”. So, go figure…
Received another text from him while typing this. He is asking me to let him know if I received a file, because he can never be sure with the internet over there.
And… I got an e-mail with the file. Thanking me again for offering to deposit his check and giving me the amount he paid himself (would not I see in the QB? Weird). He also asked me that if I could reconcile the bank accounts it would be great. Very polite…
Sorry for the long post again.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
In the middle of the text exchange with H, the guy who I know from the vacation home pops up on the FB messenger. He knows H and is friends with him in FB. This is the same guy who posted my b-day video that H commented on. The guy was silent for a few weeks, no communication (this is a separate story that I haven’t told yet.) It is not a full moon today, is it?
I sent H a text that I have received a file. He replied back with “Thank you”.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Was at the bank today, depositing H’s check. Right at the time when I finished and put the deposit receipt in my purse, received a text from H “Did you have a change to deposit that check”. So I replied “Perfect timing ! Just deposited it”. Got a reply back “Wow great thanks. I will transfer to your account tomorrow”. Heck, some emotion here. Not just dry “thanks”.
Should probably be not posting this at all. It should be all about me, right?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Thanks, FY. I don’t know what kind of hope I have. I think I want H to realize that our M was completely recoverable and that what we had was the best he could ever have. Other than that, sometimes I think that he is too far gone into the tunnel and there is no return. I’m just a hopeless dreamer…
I wish I could report more movement in my sitch, but this is all I have. Received text from H today that he transferred money to my account and thanking me once again for making his check deposit for him. End of story…
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Came across a couple of pictures of H on the FB. I was not looking for it, just happened to check out the page of one of the common friend (not a friend on a FB, thank goodness.) So, give me 2x4 all you want… The truth is that it didn’t faze me. He was in a group of people I know and a daughter of one couple (my neighbors at the vacation home actually). He had his arms around this daughter's neck, while seating (mind you she is a head taller than him, hehe.) He looked pathetic. At least to me.
Once again I realized that I’m not in love with this guy. This is a strange feeling. When I get nice e-mails and texts from him, I have a different image of him in my head. An image of the “old” H, the guy I fell in love with. And I almost feel it, that he has moments when he is back to his old self. And, then I find pictures of him… Or, meet him (like I did a couple of months ago at the vacation home.) And I realize that he is not the guy I married and that I don't want to be in a R with this guy. Am I crazy? Why I’m still here?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Bright - you will know when you are totally done, and you may still want to continue to visit and post - this is a forum where you have many friends>
Despite all of this I realise I remain fond of my xh - don't like what he has done, am not in love with him, but there is a deep and long standing bond between us which is not dissolved. It may, one day, but I am not pretending it has at this point.
We don't have to stop loving people who have hurt us - it just makes sense to protect ourselves from their current actions.
! Just deposited it”. Got a reply back “Wow great thanks. I will transfer to your account tomorrow”. Heck, some emotion here. Not just dry “thanks”.