Ya'll are spot on! Validation is basically all I did in our conversation. I'm not going to pursue. He is very worried about repairing the relationship with our son. I just told him that's between them.
I will not work that out for him. He did this to us and my son is old enough to tell him exactly how he feels. He said he will be home on the 24th, so all contact between now and then will be initiated by him.
What I love is my son said "Mom we are not giving up any of our plans and goals just because he is home." He likes the changes I have made.
Heading home this morning. Staying low profile for now and not pursuing. If he is coming home like he said its up to him to reach out. I'm feeling so many emotions, anger mostly-which I know is masking all my pain.
My family is very worried a out him coming back. I told them I appreciate the concern but I'm trying to save my marriage. I have accepted it might not work out but I intend to do everything I can to save it.
It reminds me of when I went through cancer treatments. My doc laid out the options but said now is the time to throw everything at it ...it may come back but I don't want you beating yourself up if it does for not trying everything.
I got a text from H stating he is worried how it will go when he gets home. He seems like he is getting cold feet about staying 2weeks with us. I told him it would be fine and that I know his feelings must feel confusing.
I don't know maybe that was to much to say because he never responded back.
I feel like would have more success coaxing Big Foot out of the woods than my mlc H home.
Well tonight had a full blown melt down on the phone with H. He is still coming but is back pedaling on the "And I will be happy" which I knew was stupid but my broken heart wanted to believe. I wanted to much to fast. I'm feeling so exhausted.
H wants to stress that he loves me but not like he should. Classic. H says he is coming home to try and repair relationship with relationship with our son. Son says he will only see H if I'm around. HMMM interesting circle.
Just because H is coming home, you can't backdlide on the changes you are making for you. So go slow, there's no rush. Conyknue to work on you and slowly redevelop the R.
Oh thank you Matt! I'm freaking out. He has been playing me like a fine fiddle the last couple of days. I just wanted to believe this could all be over but it's not.
He did get rude about me having plans. I think it hit a nerve. Back to NC for next 5 days...we will see if he actually shows up.
LOL that's the first laugh I have had all day. You don't know how much your experience helps me.
Your so right about him not wanting the same marriage. I just have to slow way down and get back to me.
Just for full disclosure, I've only been here since 4/20 and my W has made no indication of anything but full on divorce still. So I'm not sure I have ANY experience in this.
But you DID get him to turn around. So why stop doing what you were doing?? If it works, keep going! You saw what happened when you tried to put pressure on it. So in my opinion, the path forward is clear. Don't work harder; work smarter --- do the things that get results.
You haven't been here that long but you have an old souls way about ya! You just get it and I admire how your putting your girls first and trying your best.
