Teach, as much as we love our friends and family, they are not living in your situation. I finally starting telling my family and friends that I really appreciated their love and advice, what I need right now are people that I can vent to and be encouraged. You are doing what you know is right for you and just need support. I was afraid a few would get upset, but they listened, for the most part.
As for how they will feel after you get back together, they will be happy for you and that's what matters.
You are doing awesome! Give yourself permission to enjoy your vacation. You deserve it!!
*Hugs* E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
I would suggest to limit what you tell your family and maybe choose one family member you trust to confide in. The reason I say this is because you WILL begin to feel differently about your H as time goes on and it may be hard to describe that to your family. Eirinn is right, your family will be happy if you M works out.
I have been in this sitch like I said twice. The first time I told my mom and sisters everything. And although they were always supportive, I think they saw my H in a different light. This time around, I've only confided in one sister. I won't have to back pedal this time if things work out.
Again, not saying your family won't be supportive, just saying to be careful how much you share.
Enjoy your vacation. Enjoy your time away. It's sometimes just nice to escape and be busy with loving family.
I'm on this amazing vacation with my extended family and they keep telling me to face the fact that he said he was done and move on. I know they think they are helping me but it hurts so much.
H sent me a text before we left saying he needed time and he didnt know what was going to happen later on. I felt that was an improvement from "We are done and I'm never coming back!".
Today I feel sad and confused on vacation! Im afraid if we do finally work this out my family won't forgive him.
Don't worry about family right now, things will play out how they do. If their relationship suffers right now H will need to put in the work to fix it later, not you. Regardless, now isn't the time to be worrying about that.
Family do have good intentions, but many times they see the pain we are in and just want us to take the fastest route to being happy again. That fast route isn't always the best long term, we know that.
I'm learning to stop letting fears over how the future will play out stop you from enjoying today. Whatever happens will happen regardless, so enjoy the little things you have now.
Enjoy your vacation, don't let your sitch weigh you down right now, just have fun. You deserve it
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Husband sent a text during this trip stating that he will be home on the 24th and he will be happy. Of course I don't believe it works like that. He couldn't stand NC from me and m son. My son is very angry with him and he basically told him he didnt care if he ever came back.
My H sent me a text saying he was sorry for hurting us, that wasn't his intention. I finally had a phone conversation with him and asked how did he think we would feel...he said happy. OMG! He is delusional right now. He said we will work on us but he doesn't want what we had. That hurt because it's been pretty good in my opinion, but right now it's all about him.
I'm just trying to validate his feelings but I am extremely worried about seeing him. I have worked hard on getting my emotions under control and I don't want to go back to where I have been.
I'm calling my coach as soon as I get back. I have to be prepared. I know this is going to be a process, I just hope I have what it takes. I don't know anyone personally whose husband has flipped a switch on them basically over night. I'm so thankful for this site and my coach.
My family has been the same way they say just get out get out he is not treating you right. He is doing whatever he wants. Some days I feel they are right and I should just cut the losses but then I think what if I stick it out and do my thing and H does his and we get it worked out.
so for now I stay and I do limit what I tell my family now because you know they hear the bad stuff and of course they want me to be done. I am afraid to talk about any little good 1% that he does because I don't want any expectations.
Teach: This is good don't you think that your H will be waiting for you when you get home and that he wants to come back? I would be cautious but I think this is what you have wanted right?
