I am hoping that this new thread will be the start of building my future for myself and my kids! I am going to be working on my issues that I need to deal with. I am going to be doing more GAL activities! I am also working on standing up for myself and my boundaries!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Talked to attorney this morning. Got a few things straightened out before we send her the paperwork. I have decided to keep it as a legal separation for now. It will address my main concerns right. The kids and the financial issues.
D21 texted me yesterday and said WW sent her a long text appologizing for everything. D21 thinks WW is starting to realize what she has done. At least as far as the kids go. That is good. I was happy they patched things up. WW told her she plans to move back up here in the fall.
WW sent me a email yesterday asking me what she needed to do about legal separation documents and wanted to be sure she was allowed to change her name. I have not responded. I am sticking to only talk about the kids. Attorney can handle the rest.
I see where other things on the internet say going dark is not a good way to handle this sitch. There is so much confusing information out there. My problem is I always worry I am doing the wrong thing. Especially now. All these years, I thought I was being a good husband and taking good care of my wife. Come to find out she has been unhappy for a long time.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Good to hear from you, Joe. There is always hope. My dad was a big believer in people changing, b/c he changed the man who he had once been. As you know, I feel that if a WW experiences the right loss in her life, it can cause her to start waking up at the reality she's created. Hopefully, since she's been gone and her family is not with her, she will get a true taste for how shallow and empty her life has become.
I admire the hard struggles you've handled and what a loving parent you are. You will never regret being this strong daddy for your kids. I pray your W comes to her senses and takes the steps to clean out this trash in her life. I really do. There is still hope.
Last edited by sandi2; 06/10/1503:01 PM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Good to hear from you, Joe. There is always hope. My dad was a big believer in people changing, b/c he changed the man who he had once been. As you know, I feel that if a WW experiences the right loss in her life, it can cause her to start waking up at the reality she's created. Hopefully, since she's been gone and her family is not with her, she will get a true taste for how shallow and empty her life has become.
I admire the hard struggles you've handled and what a loving parent you are. You will never regret being this strong daddy for your kids. I pray your W comes to her senses and takes the steps to clean out this trash in her life. I really do. There is still hope.
Thank You Sandi!
I also am a big believer in people changing. I also have changed in many ways. I changed from an alcoholic to a recovering alcoholic. I changed from a quiet person that avoided people to a somewhat social person. I was a real hard person. Now I am more easy going. The sad thing is if WW would have talked to me about our issues, I would have gladly worked on them.
The one thing I can say about all this, is I think most guys would have not taken on all that I have with WW. I took in her and her 3 children. I raised them as my own. Those 3 kids were no picnic! Lots of issues from abandonment from father and the divorce they experienced. I cared for her through all her health issues. I cared for the kids when she could not. I put up with the lies.( but deep down I was becoming resentful) I put up with the financial mess we were in including the house we lost because of her not sending the payments in. I tried my best to trust her. She made it so hard sometimes. I know alot of couples divorce over finances alone. I tried to tolerate this job she was doing because it seemed important to her.
I have been trying to think of the things that I can be positive about with myself through this. It is a struggle to keep myself from getting down on myself about all this.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I think you're making a good progress here. Look, you're gonna have to tune out all that "other" stuff that's floating on the Internet and focus on DBing because it is working for you.
Keep it up, Joe. I'm happy looking at all the progress you've made. You did a lot because you loved that person and made sacrifices. Now you get a chance to do what you want to do for yourself and you family - you already have.
Keep posting. I love reading all the successes you continue to have every day.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
I think you're making a good progress here. Look, you're gonna have to tune out all that "other" stuff that's floating on the Internet and focus on DBing because it is working for you.
Thank You Wonka!
In some ways I feel like I failed my marriage and failed my kids. But I did try really hard to fix this or work things out. Can't make someone work on a marriage if they don't want to be in it.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Thanks Rip! Here is another success I have made! This year is the first time I have played golf since I was 17. I have dropped 2-3 strokes off each time I have played!! LOL!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I agree about the stuff you find on the Internet. The wider you search on this subject, the more various information you'll read. It can cause a lot of confusion for a person.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I'm sticking with my going dark approach. I share info about the kids, but that is all. It seems to be working for me. If she feels abandoned by me, I can't help that. But so far she seems fine with it.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
