Last week, I talked to the mutual friend attorney that will be writing the final decree. I sent her an email and provided all the information she needed (VIN's, legal descriptions for property, account numbers, etc.). I outlined it all, everything that W and I had agreed to as far as asset split was concerned. For those of you who aren't following my sitch, I still don't want a divorce, but WW shows no signs of changing her mind or even budging, so I must protect myself financially. Besides, there's nothing I can do to change her mind anyways, right? I should focus on me.
The attorney responded to my email and cc'ed my WW. She said:
"I'm happy that you 2 have reached an agreement and I'm glad to assist, but only if you both agree to it. Before I begin writing your decree, WW, please let me know if you agree to waive any conflict and have me draft up your agreements. I sent you a text on this last week but did not get a response from you. Thriver and WW – please cc each other on all emails."
That was on Thursday, 6/4. Today is Monday, 6/8, and still no response from WW.
Here's what I don't get...8 months ago, WW was gung ho about filing for the divorce, splitting stuff up, kicking me out of her life, separating and moving on with her life. Now, I can't even get her to return a simple email or text message about these subjects. Is this normal behavior for a WW? Any advice on how to handle this?
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
I should clarify...she is not officially representing either of us, she just agreed to draft the paperwork for free to help us out and save us on attorney's fees.
My WW refuses to finalize what she started and is dragging this out for some reason by not responding to emails or texts. I feel like I have no choice but to finalize the paperwork myself. Is this a bad idea or does it go against any DB principles?
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
Depends, is D what you want or are you just finalizing it for her?
Fogg - No, I don't want the D, but I'm getting closer to that place where I can see myself being happy with or without her in my life. I couldn't have imagined that 9 months ago. I'm nowhere near ready to start dating, but right now, I'm tired of limbo, I'm tired of her not caring and I'm tired of her selfish behavior.
I don't know what to do, I'm very confused and can't think straight after a year of this mess. We have a final court date in mid-July, although it will probably be moved up since I will be out of state that week. I don't want the D, I just want to be prepared.
Knowing that, how should I handle this? Should I:
1. Have the paperwork drawn up and ready for the eventual court date and only respond if she initiates some action. 2. Let the WW finish what she started. 3. Something else...
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
Thriver, I don't feel comfortable giving advice in this area.
Can any vets give Thriver some help?
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
If shes not pressing for D, and you don't want a D, stop doing the work for her.
Is there a court date scheduled already? Or does she need this form to file/get the court date?
Thanks for responding Fogg. Yes, there is a court date scheduled for mid-July. The only reason I'm doing any work at all is to be prepared (I was/am an Eagle Scout). The L has all the information she needs. Once the paperwork is drawn up, I think will backoff doing any work and let W finish what she started.
Me: 34 W: 30 Together: 11 years Married: 4 years BD: 4/2014 A Discovered: 5/2014 WW Filed: 7/2014 Separated: 8/2014 Divorced: 10/2015
I'm not a vet, but I'm having trouble understanding. Let me make sure I'm clear:
- WW wants a divorce but isn't willing to do anything to make it happen - you do not want a divorce
I get protecting yourself financially. I don't know the details of your finances, so I don't know what she's "getting" still being married. Is there a lifestyle you're supporting now that she wouldn't maintain after a D?
Ultimately, in my opinion, if you don't want a divorce, stop greasing the wheels.
