V, if I'd have thought of putting STFU on my pillow at the time, I would have done. Thanks Fogg & Pink - it's good to know others feel the same. Gan, yes I think I'm largely there too. Not done yet, but 'baking nicely.' I do feel I can accept whichever outcome now.
A busy day for me. Volunteered at the bookstore and visited Mum in respite this afternoon. Went out to a psychic evening with a friend tonight. I've never been to anything psychic before, and was a little sceptical.
But boy - I was one of the people she focused on and she was spot on. She looked at me and said "you have been badly hurt and you need to work on forgiveness. Not just of the person who hurt you, but forgiveness of yourself." Then there were various specific details about my life "you do yoga, and you meditate. Those help you. Keep doing them." And so on. Very interesting. I have always been a sceptic about these things, but I may go to her for a full reading.
Well, best get off to bed. Almost midnight here and I'm out for the day with a friend tomorrow. Good night all! xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Well, it's been a funny old day. My friend wasn't well and our day out got cancelled. So, I decided to get my car washed and some other stuff. My flat is opposite the Registrar's office and they were doing a brisk wedding trade today. I imagine it may be like this right through the summer - 4/5/6 weddings a day. Now, I don't begrudge anyone happiness on their wedding day, but I am much more conscious of the stats now. Am I becoming a cynic about this?
I watched a drama about infidelity tonight - set in the 60s and where the young AP didn't know he was married. He proposed and everything, then dumped her when she found out he was married. Interesting to see things from the AP's perspective.
Feeling a bit blah tonight. I haven't really had a whole night in for a bit and I'm feeling tired. I just feel our sitch is going nowhere fast. I'm not giving up just yet, but I do partly feel - meh, I might as well. But then the prospect of D isn't great either and round again we go. I'm so glad of you guys, you do help keep me sane. It's nice to be able to help others sometimes too...and the cameraderie is great. Have a good evening everyone xx
Last edited by Toots; 06/06/1508:41 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Toots. You had a bit of a down day but all in all things could be a lot worse. For me , you H seems lost and needs to find himself before he can move forward As a few others on this board I hope he does it in time to have an R with Toots
Hi Toots! Sorry for the blahs. I know exactly how that feels as I was hit with them last week. It makes it hard to do much of anything when you are in that mood...or at least it does for me.
Glad you are still posting though. Hope you have a better day today and an even better week.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Hi Guys, thanks for stopping by. Yes, I'm doing okay thanks. A busy couple of days away at work. Got home this evening and my toilet flush broke, then got a call to say only one carer had turned up and could I go up to Mum & Dad's. Ended up being there for a couple of hours. Got home just before nine to finally have a bowl of soup for dinner. I'm a hard working gal now.
But, generally all is well, and I'm looking forward to a quieter day tomorrow and yoga GAL in the evening. I realised the other day that H has been not working for 4 months and hasn't actually filed for D in that whole time. I don't want to tempt fate - but it would have been the ideal time for him to get the ball rolling. Now he's working full time with an hours plus commute each way. He may not have time to file for D! Speaking of which - need to check my emails and see if my L has been in touch about separating finances.
Work is going well. I feel like I'm wading through treacle just now though. It's hard being new and not knowing how things work. I'm looking forward to being more efficient at some point in the future. Just booked some theatre tickets for Saturday night with a new female friend, so should be nice. Life is fine really, and I'm moving forward.
Take care all xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
My L rang today. She will be speaking to his L tomorrow. I have expressed my wishes clearly and I hope she will manage to convey them:
I am happy for our L's to work in the 'spirit' of collaboration, but I don't want to fund a series of meetings where my L will have to travel.
I am happy for us to sell the marital home, but only as part of a full financial settlement. I am happy to initiate the financial settlement process.
Divorce isn't what I want and I don't intend to file. If H wants to file, that will be his responsibility.
She said, so shall I clarify with his L how we are proceeding and whether it is his intention to file for D? I said no - I don't want 'us' to be talking about D at all, because that isn't what I want. Please merely confirm that I am initiating settlement of finances as part of selling the marital home.
She respects my wishes and took all this on board, but I am finding I need to be specific about what I do and don't want. I get the feeling that I may not be proceeding in a way she is used to.
Oh well, we'll see how this goes.....T xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
