So scared...but ready...part 2

[ralphy]

Well it looks like W will be wallowing in her own misery today. She's still asleep. D2 and I have been up for a couple hours. Last night must have been another mood swing/attempt to test me. Not sure if she's serious about leaving om or not at this point.

I'll wait for her to "talk".

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2570128#Post2570128

[Cadet]

Well it looks like W will be wallowing in her own misery today.

That is part of the script - nothing you can do to FIX her.

Last night must have been another mood swing/attempt to test me. Not sure if she's serious about leaving om or not at this point.

I'll wait for her to "talk".

Yes it is possible.
No matter what happens it will TEST you.

Go out and do something with D2 maybe.

[ralphy]

Just got a call from an old high school buddy. He needs a golf partner today. Perfect timing.

W will be with D2.

Glad I get to get away for awhile.

[NDY]

Nice mate. I played yesterday after about 3 years. It's always that first tee shot. Hit that one sweet and the rest of the game is always ok, no matter how over par you are. It's all in the hips you know.

[ralphy]

I feel like I'm all over the Board here. What a rollercoaster!

To recap, W came home Friday night and said that she ended her EA "I reversed what I never should have done in the first place". She was kind of cute and flirty with me after that.

This then progressed back to her getting angry, quiet, depressed, "confused", and let to her trying to talk to me last night, and then me just getting angry and confused.

Then another blow up this morning with the two of us basically saying we didn't care anymore and were both so lost and confused. Then apologies, and a hug before leaving for work.

TEXTS from today:

W - "I'm just not sure how I feel about all of this"
W - "I think this is a rough time for both of us"

Me - "Well, let's just take it slow, and take time to listen to each other, and work through it"

W - "Yeah...I guess we'll have to see"

Me - "I'm just so confused right now"

W - "So am I" "We'll talk more later tonight"

Help Please. Not sure which direction to go, or what to do, or how to act from here...

Thanks everyone!

[Cadet]

This then progressed back to her getting angry, quiet, depressed, "confused", and let to her trying to talk to me last night, and then me just getting angry and confused.

Why are YOU getting angry?

What she is going through is almost script.
You need to stay detached and listen, validate and maintain boundaries.

Your marriage didn't fail in a second and is not going to be fixed overnight either.

The real hard work is going to come now, either you are up for it or you will fail again.

What do you want?

[ralphy]

I'm up for it. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to screw this up. She's giving me such mixed signals.

[ralphy]

W came home tonight, walked in the door and acted like it's old times. A loud Hello, big hug, brought dinner...I dont get this. Anyway, I'm staying as low key and focused as I can.

Reread DR sections on validating and infidelity. I love the wife that shows up occasionally. Just wish it was more often. The zombie/possessed wife is no fun and messes with my mind.

[bravo61]

remember to reflect at 80%. no more. she needs to win you back. if you don't place a high value on you why would she?

[ralphy]

Thanks Bravo. It's certainly the challenge of a lifetime. Have a great day.