WAW Filed for D the Next Day Part 6 (Bob)

[Bob723]

Hi Eirinn,

You are another person on this forum that always seems to know the right thing to say and brings a smile to my face.

A "Better Bob" - what better anniversary gift could I give myself? I hadn't thought of that.

Thank you for posting and the kind words. Also, thank you in advance for keeping me in your thoughts tomorrow. I truly appreciate it.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} back at you...

Bob

[Bob723]

All, if you peek in on my thread, should I call or send a text to my W tomorrow? It's our 14th Wedding Anniversary. My gut tells me it's best to leave her be at this time. I sent the "team text" last Tuesday, so it hasn't even been 1 full week yet. Still no reply from her since, which I expected and doesn't worry me a bit.

Normal DB'ing would tell me not to contact her, that's pursuing. But, in my case (as Wonka pointed out), with my W's MS, typical DB rules aren't always the way to go.

My idea has nothing to do with wishing her a Happy Anniversary--she has fired me as her husband, at least for now.

This popped into my head, sending a text tomorrow could be "powerful" if done correctly. What do I mean? Something like this:

"Just wanted to see how you are doing. You were right about the breakup. Now I know that it was the right thing to do. You are a wonderful person and you deserve the best. I am sorry for having messed it all up. A lot of amazing things have been happening lately. I would love to tell you about it some time. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for the wonderful times we shared."

Or, it could backfire. I still am thinking postively, which is why I believe this idea came to me. I'm also being honest with myself. Maybe it's best not to contact her tomorrow.

Either way, I get an anniversary gift--a "Better Bob" as Eirinn said.

Bob

[mahhhty]

I'd be interested to hear other votes. But my vote would be a NO.

If you felt compelled to send something then I would go super simple. No explanations or acceptance of guilt, reasoning or anything similar.

I was thinking about you today. I hope you are feeling well.

[Clairee]

Evening Bob!

I'm with Mah on this being a no. The possibility of it backfiring is far greater than any positive development. Its like blackjack, don't hit on 17 the cards aren't in your favor. Instead, make it celebrate Bob day! Celebrate how far you've come & how much you've grown as a person. Celebrate your steadfast devotion & your ability to take charge of who you are, which is someone only a fool would leave! You'll be in my prayers.

{{{{Bob}}}}

[PigPen]

I think you said it best yourself Bob.

"My gut tells me it's best to leave her be at this time."

I'd go with your gut. My heart and prayers will also go to you tomorrow on what is inevitably going to be a hard day for you both.

Stay strong, take excellent care of yourself, celebrate how amazing you are and how much light and strength your messages give to everyone on this board. I vote to leave it at that.

Love yourself tomorrow as much as you love your W and the day will be a success.

PP

[Sotto]

I agree with the No's....x

[Huddy]

It's a no from me Bob!

[Vapo]

A stern NO from me as well...

[rd500]

Joining in the chorus Bob NO. you are doing really well and of course you want to send a text but just see this for what it is. You. This test is all about control and you have none. Re read it and I think you will agree

Take care. Rd

[Ripken8]

Bob - count me as a no as well. IMO I'm not sure what could be written in any text to not have it come across as pursuing or taking all the blame. Even just a short - "I was thinking about you" seems pursuing because of the emotion tied with this date - it grows exponentially.

By not sending anything, you are mysterious. If you want to do a check in tomorrow or WED because of your unique situation I get it, I would just pass on today.