You're welcome teach! I am on my 6th thread, so to start from the very beginning might be a tough task. Please do, if you'd like. But each thread has about 100 posts. That's when Cadet reminds us to start a new thread.
My first post in the most recent thread of mine (Part 6) has the links to the other threads as well as a summary of my situtation. Plus, things have started to change "slightly" in a positive way by my W mostly in Part 6.
You will see the amazing advice I get and teamwork helping me with texts.
I love this family! I wish you well.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I'm here for you teach. If I can shed any light or help you through what I experienced, it would make me very happy.
I heard a quote today that made me stop and think. I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember the exact quote but it was something like, don't dwell on what you don't have, rather focus on what you do have. You have two amazing kids and I'm sure many other blessings. I know easier said than done, but it helps sometimes not to dwell on the chaos going on around you but to try to enjoy the mundane routines of everyday life. It's kind of amazing when you think about it, life just keeps marching forward.
I went to my son's band banquet tonight and loved it, but I found out that he didn't show up to his captains tryout because he was upset that day and left school. It was the day after his dad said he was "DONE". Whatever, I'm so mad right now.
My husband sent some email today talking about how he isn't divorcing me and he will always love me but we are split up (although not legally). He tried to tell my daughter we wont divorce because I might need the extra health insurance in future. What a crock. He just wants control of OLD FAITHFUL-ME.
Oh my gosh, Teach, do I feel an echo right now. My H only has a talk with my every other month or so about our R but whenever he does it is just like what you are saying. My favorite was when he told me that I was his perfect counterpart, but maybe he needed a different counterpart to help him grow to be happy. Talk about confusing! I was getting ticked off at that stage too so I looked at him and said that maybe he needed to find himself first.
Just keep posting on here. The confusing messages can make you be on the most insane roller coaster ever! I just keep reminding myself to believe nothing that he says. I just keep my PMA and next door neighbor friendly to him, if that makes sense.
What everyone else has said is so true. Use this time to find out who you are and what you want to do with YOUR life. If he wants to rejoin, great, but either way, you are going to be awesome!
{{{hugs}}} E
ps. You might want to add a signature to your profile so that people can be reminded of your sitch at a glance.
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
I went to my son's band banquet tonight and loved it, but I found out that he didn't show up to his captains tryout because he was upset that day and left school. It was the day after his dad said he was "DONE". Whatever, I'm so mad right now.
My husband sent some email today talking about how he isn't divorcing me and he will always love me but we are split up (although not legally). He tried to tell my daughter we wont divorce because I might need the extra health insurance in future. What a crock. He just wants control of OLD FAITHFUL-ME.
This mama bear is getting pissed.
This is so tough. My girls are (luckily?) little enough to really not have strong opinions on this. They can't understand what's happening, really. I can't imagine how difficult it is to go through this with children that are old and strong enough to really voice their opinions in actions like that.
I'll echo wait Eirinn just wrote. The man you loved is not your H anymore, so keep working on you. Keep detaching. Keep finding new ways to stay busy and move forward with your life. It's not easy, but it's the only choice!
H sent an out of the blue text this morning thanking me for sending him pic of the banquet and saying he didn't replay because he just couldn't talk last night. I just told him you welcome and that I appreciate him thanking me. I hope that wasn't to much.
I think I'm starting to understand DBing. H called tonight out of the blue. At times he was very rude and hurtful and at other points in the conversation he was sweet. He told he the pics I sent him were great and that he always thought I should take some photography classes(which is on my GAL list). Said I was the love of his life and he would always love me but then a minute later said he was never coming back and he hadn't changed his mind. I just validated when he expressed his feelings and told him I had no expectations about us, I'm just living for today. I ended the convo which as hard because it was really good to hear his voice.
I have to put my call in for coaching tomorrow and I should seeing my therapist this week if nothing conflicts. It's the last week of school for us and it's crazy right now. I just feel a little more relaxed tonight because I have more of a plan for myself. Teachers love plans!
Nice job teach. Sometimes the worst thing you can do is stay on the phone.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
