If only it came with a wage increase...... It will be recognised certification though which is good for my CV.
Just a quick update (and sorry I've not checked much on everyone else) but its all been a bit chaotic getting everything sorted to go on holiday with the kids
So really just updating to say there has been a bit of practical communication with XW which has been fine. I've been noticeably lighter in tone compared to XW.
I also engaged in a bit of pursuit when I collected the kids. She was very upset, probably because she won't see the kids for 10 days and she is a little anxious about the holiday. As I was about to go I said something like
'I know life is different now, but I wish you were coming with us'
I was upbeat and positive as i left with cheery kids in tow.
Right I have to get up for a plane so need some sleep.
Hope you all have good weeks
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Have a lovely vacation with your kiddos and enjoy as much as you can this time with them.
They do grow very fast and you see them going to college right before you have time to realize it.
So, hug them and kiss those little cheeks, it is yet the best prize we get from life.
I am happy you got that sentence out of your chest, it may be pursuing but it can also be a man saying that he is sorry his family is broken. If it was natural, them you just left her thinking.
She may be all upset and still with a lot of resentment towards you, but one day in the past she fell in love with you and that is somewhere inside her. We under estimate their pain because it seems that they are doing all this to hurt us. But I also wonder how much it hurts them to be responsible for so much destruction.
You are a good man and deserve to be happy, hopefully you are learning how to improve and respect yourself and with W or without her I am sure you will rebuilt your life again.
Hi jim0987 - Just stopping by to say that I'm still here and still following your sitch closely.
Of course, I can't approve of the recent pursuing My thoughts on the pursuing at the moment is that they are perceived by the WAS as the continuation of the disagreements in the couple. As much as our words may say otherwise, our WW might be telling us that we were very wrong and our insistence to save the M is seen as a rebuttal, no matter how much we repeat "I can change". Letting go might be a way to let them win the argument. That's why it's so important to let go.
Good luck with the certification.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
Hi Jim With all due respect to Mozza I disagree. I think after 9 months it's ok to say something like you did. The WAS does feel remorse at some stage and maybe a comment like yours just shows them that maybe you are open to an R at some stage as oppose to you hating them forever !!!!!!
Hey Jim, I imagine you are in transit somewhere just now, with two excited bunnies in tow. I hope you have a lovely time. I don't see any great harm in your statement above, which comes on the back of months of no pursuit....don't worry about it & enjoy your trip!
(((Jim)))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I see how we might want to be kind to each other and I was the grateful recipient of this kindness recently on these boards when I cried in front of WW at a school show. But I also think that we're here to support each other in DBing, first and foremost. It's about saving ourselves and reducing the harm on our sitches to save some chances of R. MWD is very clear that we should cut all pursuit from the start and it's very high on the list of 37 rules put together under sandi2's name. As much as I know where this came from, because I have a lot of it in me, I think the best was we can be helpful is to remind jim0987 that his W is irked by his pursuit, not attracted. Of course, some might disagree and think (hope) that she's made to rethink her position, but then it's not really the DB way.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
My thoughts on the pursuing at the moment is that they are perceived by the WAS as the continuation of the disagreements in the couple. As much as our words may say otherwise, our WW might be telling us that we were very wrong and our insistence to save the M is seen as a rebuttal, no matter how much we repeat "I can change". Letting go might be a way to let them win the argument. That's why it's so important to let go.