Ok Nilla...I'm sure you will be entertained by tonight's dating story.
So...I went to the gym to work out after waking up from my night shift. I saw someone staring at me and he was quite nice looking so I looked back. It was the guy I had talked to before only I didn't recognize him from the distance. Lol He came over to say hello and we exchanged niceties. A few mins later he came back and said " are you busy after this?" Normally I would not admit I did not have plans on a Friday night but he knew I was just off my work set so I said " actually I'm not" He then asked if I would like to go for a drink at the beach after we were done and I thought what the h-ll sure.
He has vertigo so he can't drive so we went in my car. He looks good for his age (55) and comes across as someone that was very " hot " in his time. Lol. We sat at a nice patio on the beach and chatted for 2.5 hrs. He made it quite obvious he likes me which of course scared me. Lol I found it a bit overwhelming as he was still a stranger to me. He paid for dinner...nice. then we went for a walk along the beach. He is very open and it did raise some red flags for me. He felt because I'm a Nurse he could trust me and admitted he has type two bipolar disorder. This is what ended his marriage 15 yrs ago as he behaved impulsively and had a relationship while he was newly separated. I'm thinking emotional affair that crossed over after separating. Anyway I guess we all have baggage by this age and stage. I'm thinking I will go out with him one more time and see how I feel. I wasn't feeling much chemistry on my side but like I said I still see him as a stranger. Will update soon. He's already texted to let me know he's home. Lol UGH! Hahaha.
Tomorrow is drinks with a girlfriend. Sunday is Mothersday dinner out with my kiddos. Cheers,
Karma
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Yes I am happy that I recognise the red flags now right away. I have not gone on anymore dates. I think the guy from my last date realizes I was not interested in any more dates. Lol
Just enjoying life at present. Keeping busy. Had an amazing Mothers Day last weekend with all my adult children. I received beautiful flowers as well as chocolates....lovely.
I have had a couple of interactions with STBX. He picked up SD last weekend after Mothers Day dinner. He came in and was chatting. He ate SD and my leftovers...lol Again gave me a hug goodbye when they left. Today I picked up SD for a visit and he invited me in and was chatting. I am just being myself. Chatting and being friendly in a friend like way. He gave SD and I both hugs as we left. I took her to the Beach for dinner and we enjoyed a beautiful view from a patio. Then back to my place for a movie and sleepover. I will keep her most of tomorrow and return her in the evening to her Dad. He doesn't know anything about my dating life. I don't let on about anything. I just make sure I look great and leave it at that. Lol I can tell he's try to keep some connection with me. Silly boy.
It's after midnight here..,,I better grab some zzzzzzz. Until my next adventure lol GNite all
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Well I have been very busy with work. I attended a conference and made many new contacts.
I was feeling a hug pull the last few days to my STBX. I called him tonight and he had sD in the car so we chatted a bit. He called me whe they got home and told me he hadn't been feeling very well and his back was out. Explained the pull I was feeling. He asked me if we could talk in person instead we of over the phone. I'm working so until Sunday, he asked me to text Sunday then.
He told me he was aware that he is not emotionally available and I was not alone in complaining. Interesting. I will let you know what comes of this meeting. We are at this point still married,
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
I'm very intuitive and the last couple weeks I found my STBX was popping into my mind constantly. I felt like I had taken a big step backwards because I had been feeling disconnected for quite a while and now I was feeling this "pull". Why was I feeling such a strong connection.
I have noticed when he sees me now he is more like the old STBX before BD. For example I was dropping off SD's shoes that she had left at my place. STBX was chatting with me at the door. I accidentally dropped one of the shoes. He bent over to pick it up and I dropped the other one just missing his head with the small heel. He looked at me with a grin and said that just missed my head! I looked at him with a grin and said " Karma". We both laughed after.
I finally decided to call him last night. Wine creates courage! Lol He answered and was driving with SD. They both chatted with me over the car speaker and I asked him to call when he had time later. He called back and I told him he had been on my mind a lot lately and I asked if he was ok. He said he'd been having some issues with his health and had also hurt his back. I told him that I wasn't sure if something was wrong with him or if I had been on his mind and I was picking up on it.
He told me he does think about me sometimes. He said he wanted me to know he has been told by others that he is emotionally unavailable. He said he'd like to get together for coffee and talk. He said he didn't like talking on the phone he'd rather we talk in person. He told me he didn't want me to think he didn't care about me or my feelings. I was very surprised that he was using communication skills and I statements. I was also surprised he wanted to talk in person. In the past he was an avoider soTalking on the phone I would have thought would have been easier for him.
He started his MLC at 40. Really obvious change at 41. BD was at 42. Now he is approaching 45 this Sept. I'm wondering if he is coming out of the tunnel. It sounds like he has done some reflecting and I was surprised at his willingness to communicate. I am working this weekend so the plan is to try and meet on Sunday before I go in for my night shift. I will fill you in after we meet.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Yes I did meet with him. He had to go pick up SD from girl guide camp so by the time he was free to meet it was 430. I had to leave for work at 6pm so that didn't leave us much time. We were going to meet for coffee then he said he didn't feel like coffe so he wanted to meet at Menchies ( a frozen yogurt place by my place.)
I met him outside on a bench. He gave me a hug and asked if I felt like going to the Sushi place next to Menchies instead as he was now starving after the long drive from camp. So off we went into the Sushi place. We ordered a few things to share and started to chat about everything except us. It was not a place where you could have a private convo and we didn't have much time so I just went with the flow.
We had an enjoyable time and had no problem keeping up a convo, he seemed to enjoy my company and would have stayed longer if I hadn't had to leave for work. He hugged me again when I left and he paid for our meal.
What I thought was going to be a coffee and talk ended up being more like a date. So confusing. I don't know whether to ask to talk or just leave it and see what he does. He seems very comfortable with me and more like his old self before BD. he even picked up my half eaten prawn and finished it. Lol
Seeing him more like his old self stirs old feelings in me. It's been almost three hrs and there is still a connection. I don't know what to think
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
