It's really amazing how fast it can work when you change your mindset and stick to the DB Rules.
24 back on the horse and the W followed me to the garage and asked if we were no longer talking...I asked if there was something she needed to talk to me about and she said no. As I went back to working on my Jeep project she asked if something happened today and I replied that I was just talked out. The W said she would be back later (going to workout) and I just replied OK, see ya later. See was clearly bothered by my 180 and stormed off.
I will read Sandi's rules a few more times and her thread on WW just to make sure I don't get sidetracked by her voodoo magic.
Me42 W40 S12 D8 M:15yrs BD 3/27/15 D filed 4/27/15
W told me yesterday she would be going out of town for a friends event which happen to also be the home of the OM. I didn't react and simply said ok. A complete 180 for me...
When I woke up this morning she made me a shake for breakfast. I replied with a Good Morning and Thank you before saying goodbye and have a good day on my way out.
Came home early to get the kids off the bus and she was home. Again, I didn't react or say a word, just went into my office and finished some work. To top it off she mowed the lawn and is cleaning the house. My wife has mowed once in 15 years when I was out of town and has not been active in cleaning the house for the last several months.
As I am writing this she keeps popping into my office to tell me tidbits of random info. & to let me know she is making Lasagna for dinner (my fav).
Not sure what any of this means other than I need to stay the course because something is happening. Trying not to read into this and stay focused.
Me42 W40 S12 D8 M:15yrs BD 3/27/15 D filed 4/27/15
Update: Had a nice dinner last night with the fam and the WW. I thanked her for dinner and kept the conversation limited and between myself and the children. After dinner I returned to my room and continued to read a new book "A Manual for Living". Later I took a shower and as I was getting ready for bed she gave me a hug...I think she was going to kiss me so I pulled away and said good night.
Today I got up early and made myself breakfast so she couldn't and my son and I spent the majority of the day at his sporting event. I turned my notifications off when she calls or texts (this helps me not respond). As we were heading home I noticed she texted me a few times.
She text me that she has an event this afternoon (supplement product sales) and afterwards were sticking around for a girls night. In the past I would have asked 20 questions but simply replied - Ok.
She texted me a few more times about random stuff and I replied - OK, have fun tonight.
To be honest it takes the stress of her being here off my mind. Today was a good day and while I love her and want to keep our fam together I don't need her to be happy.
Me42 W40 S12 D8 M:15yrs BD 3/27/15 D filed 4/27/15
So crazy continues...I guess no girls night out. WW shows up like its a surprise and hangs around for a bit doing random stuff. I didn't say a word about why she was home early or what she was doing. WW sits next to me on the couch like she's watching the basketball game with me?
Her friend down the street texts her to come over and she asks if I care if she goes. I reply "No, that's fine with me". WW rubs my leg and says she'll be back in bit. I smile and say - Ok.
I wanted to ask her to watch a movie and came very close to asking what she was doing home but resisted the urge. A complete 180 from me pursuing her in the past. I don't understand what she's up to? Maybe testing me?
Me42 W40 S12 D8 M:15yrs BD 3/27/15 D filed 4/27/15
Had a brief lapse in my LRT today. The WW asked me what was going on with me and I told her while I could not control her choices I could control how I chose to react to what was happening.
I went on to say I didn't get a vote nor did our children and while in the past I tried to fix our M my focus was now on fixing me. The WW didn't say much, just stood there looking at me.
WW asked if I wanted to fix the house up before selling or hurry and get it on the market "as is". I told her I had not thought about it and that my thoughts were focused on working on me, not the house.
I felt myself starting to ramble about the rollercoaster and shut the conversation down. I tried switching the topic by asking if she had a good time at her friends house last night then realized that was pursuing and just said ok - enough talking.
I think she is feeling me out - just not sure why?
Me42 W40 S12 D8 M:15yrs BD 3/27/15 D filed 4/27/15
Mine is pretty angry about the LRT. She is saying things like, "Why aren't you talking to me now?" and "I just want you to act normal," and "If we're going to live together, it can't be like this." She doesn't like my unexpected absences and detachment. She wants me to just be warm and happy and smiling and affectionate. I do need to work on being more upbeat - was sorely depressed this morning. It's so easy to get dragged into their conversations - and overtures. She hugged me this morning while I was still lying on the bed, saying how bad she feels, how guilty, how much she wants me in her life, just not as a partner. I didn't take the bait, though... she asked why I wasn't saying anything, and I replied simply that I had nothing to say. I guess this is a sort of feeling out, too.
I think I need a new focus/passion/purpose in my life, something that is not working on our (her?) real estate business. That's my goal for this week, to find it and nail it down. Will keep my mind off of her "dating," which commences, so I'm told, on Tuesday.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
One min she's looking at old photo albums and about to cry then a few min later she's all smiles. WW spent most of the day in her room so I at one point I needed to compare calendars for kids events and ended up laying next to her on the bed.
We held hands for a moment before I snapped to my senses and said I need to go downstairs. As I got up I acted like I was going to kiss her but pulled away and went downstairs. Maybe I shouldn't play games but felt good to turn the tables. Later she made a comment about how I was supposed to be focused on myself and not her. i agreed and left it at that.
I don't want to play games but feel like if she doesn't know I care she may not see a reason to work things out.
Me42 W40 S12 D8 M:15yrs BD 3/27/15 D filed 4/27/15
WW started asking about selling the house and was packing stuff when I told her I didn't think it was a great time to discuss the house, maybe later. WW has been stashing some cash and wanted me to write her a check for allowance. I told her to use her own money and then the fireworks...
We went back and forth for at least 30min. WW started telling me I deserved better and I would be so much happier with someone else. I reassured her that she was a good person and we both made mistakes.
I told her lets agree to disagree and I will continue letting go.
So I press on and see what happens.
Me42 W40 S12 D8 M:15yrs BD 3/27/15 D filed 4/27/15
