Pigs might fly he won't be in. Selfishness of a WW knows no bounds.
Yes. exactly. Besides that house isn't just about money and I've told her as much. I'm expecting 'a talk' soon about this.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
WW wants to buy me out of the house and is determined that she will have custody of S9. So I've been pondering this for a bit and came up with this thought.
Where does it say in the rules that she gets to cherry pick the best bits of our M but supliments the bits she doesn't like? What I mean is I poured my heart and soul into this place. So did she. I don't want to leave. Neither does she and S9 most definitely does not want to leave. My head says no, sell but my heart says let it be.
You see, there is a lot of talk about reconciling after D and if that were to happen then I would want to be in this house. But also if she never comes back I don't think I could handle the OM opening my door. Get my drift?
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
You miss my point. She's not interested in R night now. Perhaps may never be. But if you look at Kramers thread his W has bottomed out and started playing games with him. Hopefully it will work out for him and his W.
In my sitch. If I were to leave I don't think I could handle the OM coming to my door. Ever. And it pains me to say this but I can't allow the WW to continue to hurt me for the rest of my life, knowing how much I love this place. But selling up will hurt S9. And I don't want to do that.
So conflicted
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Stay in the house. I've wondered if I should leave as well. The attorney I talked to today said "stay at all costs, unless it's getting violent or abusive." At least where I am, he said that if I leave, then W and her attorney will tell a judge I abandoned them.
Ah, sorry, must have misread. Don't let her have the house unless you feel it is unbearable to stay and then insist that it has to be sold.
OM at your door, in your things, mowing your lawn that you've put the work in for - no f****** way!
Yea. That's how I feel about it. I look around this place and realise how much work I put into it. It wasn't for money, it was so we could have a nice life. So now that life if wrecked I don't think I could stomach OM gaining the benefit from it. I hate to see S9 having to move, this isn't his fault but I also need to think about myself as well.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
That's the selfish bit; you do it all for a nice life and then they p*** it away.
Cherry picking the best bits and I get left with the cr*p.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
You miss my point. She's not interested in R night now. Perhaps may never be. But if you look at Kramers thread his W has bottomed out and started playing games with him. Hopefully it will work out for him and his W.
In my sitch. If I were to leave I don't think I could handle the OM coming to my door. Ever. I understand you feeling this way^^. I really do. However, can you see that this is pretty much your wounded pride & ego speaking?
After all, IF she continues with OM and it's a "real" affair, won't he simply come & go as he pleases wherever she lives?
And in the end, you have NO control over what your w does or whom she dates...which is hard to grasp but is truly important to process fast. It's reality.
Please don't let your pride decide things for you, let alone at your son's expense.
That only compounds the wrong being done to him by the marriage being challenged AND this part of it is on you.
And it pains me to say this but I can't allow the WW to continue to hurt me for the rest of my life, Luckily This^^ IS within your control. Do not let her continue to hurt you.
Protect yourself and arm yourself with knowledge, and begin your path of growth so that you develop an inner peace & confidence. Let that grow & soothe you as you begin to really GAL and feel better, & happier.
knowing how much I love this place. But selling up will hurt S9. And I don't want to do that.
So conflicted
Putting your son FIRST will always be the right thing to do.
I'm not saying "Never sell the home" but why rush it? Why sell, now?
Instead of your son moving to 2 new places, and shuffling between them -
Why not let your son get used to it more slowly, like with one of the places being the place he knows as "home"? Just my .02
Anyway, try to Get through this ordeal with the upside intact (the "Upside" being our personal growth - b/c this brutal ordeal DOES teach us a lot about ourselves and love and faith, etc. I mean, geez, You don't want to miss out on the one positive that comes from all this pain, do you?)
And you can rest easy knowing you handled yourself with grace & dignity in the face of betrayal and pain. You will never regret that.
Back to the DB basics...what are your 180s? And do you have any short term goals?
When you do have goals you can articulate, it's great to assess whether option
"A" or "B" is more likely to get you closer to your goal, or push you farther away.
Make sense?
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
