So first day over with no face to face contact with H. I will admit it was hard. H went out for a couple of hours yesterday. Had the Ds most of the time, when H got back he spent most of it inside his room until Ds went back to him in the evening. No effort from H to engage. Patience they say is a virtue...
Last edited by EMO1234; 05/17/1510:59 PM.
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
BW - I am struggling with it too and trying to find it again, I have loads of patience to give but its blocked by my fear of how this sitch may eventuate. Hoping the next 5 days will be easier, my MIL will arrive from the UK on the weekend, perhaps an opportunity to engage..
how are you going BTW?
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
EMO, I've been thinking of you often. I wish we could all take a portion of your pain and help you through.
I feel like you're very anxious. Sometimes what helps is to do some work. Would you like a homework assignment? You don't have to, but here are some things I would be happy to see you share if you feel like it:
What are the things you have in your life right now you're most grateful for?
What are the things that make you EMO, that you like about yourself?
Post if you'd like, and take care!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
I am hanging in there. Have my good days and my bad days. Still dealing with an H that is still very likely in A, but at same time seems to being trying to make effort to try and reconnect with me. So cake-eating?! H looks me in the eye and says there is nothing going on, but my gut and little clues tell me otherwise. Tend to trust my gut. Hard to look at the person you love and not even recognize who they are now.
That being said, working on mentally letting go of H so that I take myself out of the back and forth cycle of cake eating. Have been doing great with GAL and fitness the past couple of weeks. Plus, working on learning about communicating my feelings more so that I don't hold things in and then explode!
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
BW - So sorry about your sitch and yes its very hard to look at the person you love and not recognise who they are. Glad to hear you are doing keeping up with GAL and fitness. One thing I am finding difficult is maintaining a "cheerful and positive" front particularly if I see my H.
Zues - at the moment I am very grateful for my family especially my mum and cousin who live with me and my network of very close girlfriends, they have given me immense support and encouragement that things will get better (with or without H). I am also grateful for my two beautiful Ds, who are my ray of sunshine and innocent parties to this sitch.
Hmm things I like about me? Well I used to be a happy-go lucky kinda person – carefree and adventurous; I love dancing (forgot I liked this until I this weekend when I went a bit crazy inside the house, my youngest D laughed and said mummy you need to stop eating sugar!). I am considerate, patience and a loyal companion/friend. That's all I can think for now...
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
Emailing my H about arranging time with Ds this weekend while his mum is here. I am inviting his mum to join myself and the girls on an outing on Saturday night - is that too rude? or should I include H too - (I think its too soon since my last emotional row)
Can any vets give advice?
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
I am considering telling my MIL about my bad behaviour when she is here the snooping and monitoring of H during the last 3 weeks. This is sort of a 180 for me because I portrary this passive, quiet, reserved individual who seems to hold no grudges..
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
Noticed today when I went downstairs to give the Ds their dessert, H deliberately left the lounge room and went into his bedroom. Guess he is still mad with my behaviour ( and so he should be...)
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
Can any of the vets tell me how you know if your WAS has an EA?
H is good friends with a married lady who is active in the school community. He taught both her kids and my youngest is good friends with her youngest son. She even looked after my youngest D when she attended the same preschool as her son.
They are both on the school council, she owns a play gym which he takes the kids to most time on Friday. He even initiated that the kids play hockey because her boys played there.
H went to talk to her after he asked for separation. I got really jealous and made a snide remark "oH you spoke to OW". H defended her saying she has done a lot to help us out and that she has actually got him to look at how I would feel and has defended my feelings. Its probably one friend he does have.
H has said there is no attraction physically/emotionally going on - I do not think there is a PA but EA perhaps? I know her she knows me (but not well enough)and she is very nice and friendly, and has even said if I needed support with the kids she could help out.
Should I talk to her upfront? Part of me wants to but I think H would be furious with not trusting his words..
Last edited by EMO1234; 05/18/1509:39 PM.
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
