First, I'd like to commend you for GAL, I hope you had a good time. But, I am so sorry to hear that you're having a bad evening. As you wrote in my thread, it's like we are going down a road of valleys and peaks.
It is terrible that your H not only is involved with OW, but includes your S. I want to help you SO much and I believe you do need to set some boundaries. But before deciding if, and what they would be, I'd love to hear from one of the vets like Wonka, MrBond, etc. Anyone else around? All, what do you think about Eirinn's question?
Eirinn, I will dedicate a prayer to you and your family right after I click on the Submit button.
*Hugs* *Hugs* *Hugs*
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Eirinn, I am so sorry that things took a downturn since I last visited.
IDK what the right advice is. Would it be appropriate to tell your H simply that you are uncomfortable with your H taking your son to another female's home for dinner, period, whomever she is?
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
I can't think of any further advice right now. I came across this Bible verse a while ago. I hope it makes you smile....even if it's only for a few seconds. I love the Book of Psalms.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds…. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit” (Psalm 147:3, 5).
*Hugs*
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Thank you for helping, Zelda. The only problem I have is that I have taken my son to play dates with just guy friends, so if I tell my H he can't go then I wouldn't be able to bring my s to his friend's house either. I've known my H since he was 17 and he has always had more female friends than males.
I just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing for my s.
I don't know. Maybe this is a cheese less tunnel.
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Aw, Eirinn, you're welcome!! I wish there was more I could do.
Try to have a peaceful evening.
*Hugs*
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Eirinn, spitballing ... just wondering if you think this is a problem for your son (play dates) or if you are just p-o'd at H right now for what might be going on?
Zephyr, you might be right. It could be a jealousy factor. I guess the reason I ask is I read of people setting that boundary of no visiting the OW and it made me start thinking I'm doing something wrong. But as I have no proof or admittance I feel I'm controlling rather than boundary setting.
Does any of that make sense?
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
It makes absolute sense. I am right there with you!
I have been struggling with the difference between how to set a healthy boundary and just saying something that is really meant to control spouses behavior. Is this something you need proof of first, does this boundary need to be spoken aloud, what are the consequences? What are you willing to do if your protective circle is crossed or violated.
All, what do you think about Eirinn's question?