Rd Moving on 6

[mahhhty]

I've been thinking a lot anout a future R and I don't think I'm cut out for one My life will be full with kids and I have a business to run

RD - You receive praise on a weekly if not daily basis for grace under pressure, for compassion, nurturing, etc. You know what kind of person you are, and others do as well. Your quote above sounds like surrender. Like oh boy, I guess not only can I not save my marriage but I can NEVER have another relationship either. Both of which are fallacies.

I believe you can have anything in this world that you want. All you have to do is figure out what you want. Perhaps you don't want another relationship, perhaps you don't want your W. I think you should try to figure out what you do really want and do that.

If you still have some hope, and you are still willing... look at your situation with a beginner's mind. What aren't you doing that you could be doing, what can you be doing better? Do what works!

[Sotto]

Hi RD, I'm just checking in to see how you are doing today. I know it was a tough weekend for you. Have you stayed pretty much pulled back as you planned?

Have things settled down on the business front? Hope those lovely kids are all doing okay. Any change with W at all?

Look forward to hearing from you my friend (((RD)))

[Vanilla]

RD

You know that I have always believed that you need some privacy as an adult WW comes to your room and into the whole of the house.

RD, you are a very special man and friend. As one friend to another, I really believe that by being so supportive of WW you are prolonging your problem and hers.

Let WW find out the true consequences of her actions, have some adult GAL, you soft daft loving dad.

RD, as part of your family, I want you happy for the 100% of your life. And more.

V

[rd500]

Hi all. Thanks for posting. Work taken a real hit but it is what it is. Life goes on and it means I'll have to recruit a new manager and that's not something I enjoy.

Kids doing well 'S16 won an award and we are off to a big presentation next week
He' has an allocation for two of us and D10 and I are going S16 is really pleased and it's nice to see. D10 a little down but ok. D14 has been invited to a concert soon so she's really happy and S20 is over the moon because I ve offered him a summer job so he can afford to upgrade his motorbike.

Nothing to report on W. Stayed out of her way pretty much and just had a couple of calls and texts over the last few days. She did call today and I had one of my old drivers in for a days driving as I had a driver leave on Friday. The relief driver also plastered my extenstion a few years ago and knows W. When I explained to W that I told him she had left , W was very unhappy and said she didn't just leave , that we wernt getting on and we seperated , I just said ok and changed the subject. She did start to tell me how her kitchen was flooded last night so I just nicely said call the landlord and finished the call.

Thank you all for the support and I think Mahhhty is right , I've given up. My attitude on helping W through her fog hasn't changed , I just want to be over all the anguish and pain. Re a new R at some stage I don't believe I could ever trust anyone again so why risk going through this pain again.

Iim sure their are decent people out there as shown by this board but finding them would not be easy. I re read my last post and it had the ring of poor RD to it. I don't feel that way just realistic , W was / is a really good person and she lost her feelings for me That's really hard to accept but I must The last 7 months have let me see my mistakes in my M and I'm on the road to becoming a much better person. My kids have a much better Dad and I have vastly improved Rs with my Ds.

You are all really kind to continue posting. I have a bit of housework to do and then prepare school lunches and I will return to the board and catch up on everyones sitch.

Take care all. Rd

[Vanilla]

RD

Let WW deal with her stuff isn't giving up. It is just another way, a 180 of concentrating on RD.

It is letting WW realise that she has to be for herself. OM won't take up the slack, to be sure.

RD, the ladies in this virtual world of ours, are flirting, seeking your on line company, queuing to meet you. lovely lasses like Pink are outrageous for RD. there are many lovely ladies out there in Ireland just waiting to meet RD.

There; came over all unnecessary.

Besides WW didn't lose her love for RD, or give it away, she lost her selflove. She no longer loves herself.

Oh and it's ok you know to self soothe and revel in your sadness.

RD, if big sis V was with you, she would set up a full interview panel for RD dating, with the kids veting candidates.

V

[rd500]

Thanks Vanillia. You could not be on the vetting board and a candidate at the same time !!! Thanks for the Knd words I will never say never but I'm relaxed about it. I don't see an R in my future with time restraints and looking after my crew at home I think even the ladies on here would struggle to cope with my baggage

Take care. Rd

[Sotto]

Hi RD - maybe just tell yourself that you don't see another R in the near future. That would be healthy - things remain uncertain with your W, but you are drawing back at this point and leaving her to her own struggle. Not moving on, but moving further forward and detaching. Good job with the pleasant - well, call the landlord - comment.

I bet there would be many lovely ladies out there who would jump at the chance to help you cook a roast for your lovely family and join in the warmth, love and fun. So what you call baggage, others may see as something much more welcome and positive. There is some self-pity in your posts recently. It's maybe worth having a look and a think about that...

From where I'm sitting, your attitude and approach has taken a shift within your sitch. That needn't mean the end, unless you want it to be (and I suspect you aren't there yet) - but like me, plenty of patience and detachment may be called for at this point...

Have a good day RD xx

[JellyB]

Hi RD, first time poster, to your thread, hope you don't mind me adding my two cents....please don't under estimate what a package you might be for the right woman...I moved 1000's of kms, for a guy in a small rural town, who is a paraplegic and had a 8 year old daughter! What is someone's baggage was my dream man and family I always wanted! Please keep a little glimmer of it in the back recesses of your mind...

[rd500]

Hi Toots and JellyB. , thank you both for your comments. Toots you are so right , I do feel very sorry for myself at the moment. I'm not sure why, only a couple of weeks ago W was coming forward and mentioned coming home I have stood back and think its comes down to the trust thing. W was a very supportive and caring W She had plenty of faults but who doesn't. The one thing I thought was I could trust her I've said before how my dad left when I was 11 and whether this caused my trust issues or not I have always had them. My self pity comes from this I think. How could I trust anyone again If the one person I would have trusted my life with is capable of letting me down then anyone is

JellyB. thanks very much for posting. I will catch up on your sitch shortly. As I have said before , all the ladies in this site would be a great catch because you all are sticking by your H through incredibly hard times I follow Toots , Pink , Rppfl, Vanillia and Ahoys posts very closely and they all are fantastic ladies that deserve so much more from their Hs. As I said to toots , it's the trust issue I would have going forward and I can work to overcome that or accept what is. I can only control myself and having expectations of others is not somewhere I want to be

Thanks again ladies Have a good day. Rd

[JellyB]

You are well respected by the amazing women here RD, that says a lot about the man you are. I appreciate you reading my thread, but don't fuss about that. There is not much happening in sitch. I just feel blessed to be here. You are very kind to others and I just wanted to acknowledge that. jB x