So W tells me that our realtor strongly suggest to paint the house and replace the carpet. I don't care to spend money on the house if were going to sell it. W says we call sell it a lot faster if we paint and do carpet. I dont want to,but is right for me to fight this? Should i just give in and help with getting the paint and carpet done?
I also asked her today about Mother's Day. I stated that if she didnt want me there then i wouldnt do and she said its best that i not go. So i am not going. MIL knows about divorce and has been supportive of me.
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
if i agree to help W sell our house am I not detaching? I have been doing the little things for her still such as take down all the TV Wall mounts and some of the heavy frames. I am also doing other things such as helping her with the groceries and her bags when she comes home. Should i stop doing these things as part of the detachment?
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
Thank you, Mr. Bond! sometimes its so hard because i dont want to do or say the wrong thing. I need to stop worrying about whether or not its going to my W mad. I do need to just worry about what i want
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
Last night I asked W to please communicate with me when she is going to do something in regards to our property, S2, divorce, anything regarding the two of us. Then our S2 starts throwing a tantrum while playing with W. W then just bolts and goes upstairs without saying anything leaving S2 on the floor crying. I asked W what was going on and she just said let him come upstairs. i wasnt sure what was going on and i kept asking W to tell me. She didnt tell me and i asked her once again to please start communicating more in regards to things involving both of us. She got angry saying that she did tell me what was going on by saying "let him just come upstairs." I then told her that I would like her to communicate more and that i can't force her to, but im just letting her know how i feel. She then responded with Shut the F up," which i then just said okay and went upstairs.
W then came down later and started talking to me about custody of S2 and i agreed with everything. I think she was a little irritated that i didnt resist her on any of her requests. I am trying not to let things she says and does bother me. Getting there.....
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
if i agree to help W sell our house am I not detaching?
Nick, read this post I copied and pasted about detaching. I think it will help you understand better.
As for painting the house and laying new carpet, it probably would help get a better sell. I wouldn't spend a lot, but a little cosmetic work never hurts.
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I have been doing the little things for her still such as take down all the TV Wall mounts and some of the heavy frames. I am also doing other things such as helping her with the groceries and her bags when she comes home. Should i stop doing these things as part of the detachment?
Does she show appreciation when you do these things? Does she ask for your help, say thank you, etc.? Does she yell for you to do it? You don't have to be a jerk, in the name of detaching. But neither should she act like a shrew, and demand you do things for her. You just have to use your best judgement on this, until you get more information.
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I need to stop worrying about whether or not its going to my W mad. I do need to just worry about what i want
Exactly! What's she going to do? She's already leaving you, right? Do not be a "Yes Dear" kind of guy.
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Last night I asked W to please communicate with me when she is going to do something in regards to our property, S2, divorce, anything regarding the two of us. Then our S2 starts throwing a tantrum while playing with W. W then just bolts and goes upstairs without saying anything leaving S2 on the floor crying. I asked W what was going on and she just said let him come upstairs. i wasnt sure what was going on and i kept asking W to tell me. She didnt tell me and i asked her once again to please start communicating more in regards to things involving both of us. She got angry saying that she did tell me what was going on by saying "let him just come upstairs." I then told her that I would like her to communicate more and that i can't force her to, but im just letting her know how i feel. She then responded with Shut the F up," which i then just said okay and went upstairs.
Look Nick, there are times when a man needs to stand up to a woman and sound like a man. Know what I mean? Maybe I am reading this wrong, but it makes you sound very weak in the way that went down. All this......please here and please there business. Forget it! You saw how she stormed off leaving the baby there, yelling at you to let him come upstairs to her.......(does he go up and down the stairs by himself?)......and then she gets a nasty, vulgar mouth. And what does Nick do? You did just what that hot mama told you to do!
Take it from a gal that knows a WW b'tch when I see one; you had better start putting your foot down and stand up to her. How can you expect her to be respect you as a man, much less be attracted? No woman wants a man she can treat like dirt while he's saying, "Yes Dear". Act like your mouth works! Act like that kid is yours! What kind of mother does that with a two year old baby? I see why he's throwing a fit, b/c he's learning from her example.
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W then came down later and started talking to me about custody of S2 and i agreed with everything.
I suppose the Mother of the Year wants full custody? You are crazy if you agree with it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
