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Pyrite Offline OP
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Thanks Smothy, you too. I never imagined anything so hard. It seems like the past is crapped all over, the future is upside-down, and the present is just rubbing it in. That said, I do feel much better after a walk, half successful meditation on the VERY windy beach. And you know what started THIS downturn. Last night when I picked the girls up from day care i can see W's initialisation in sign in book.

She must've forgotten herself, Freudian slip perhaps,but she signed in using married name (initials). This is a first since BD, uses maiden name. Then d4 drops the biting game commentary. This morning I get to work to flat out denial email, blaming d4's confused memory AND I will call the agent and say go on the sale then.

I am pathetic frown.


M: 6 T: 12
Kids: 2,4
BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015
EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,014
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Pyrite Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Zues126
Py- did you read my post today (I posted it recently on Bob's and Ten's thread) about where detachment comes from? About needs?

Read through Bob's thread, I explained it a bit better. Get back to me on what you think. Thanks.


I will while you're sleeping - i have to do some work before I get sacked. My output has been woeful for 3 months. That said - i probably will anyway.


M: 6 T: 12
Kids: 2,4
BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015
EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,708
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Good. Your posts % of including WAW's behavior has rebounded into the upper 80% range.

Just because you learn something doesn't mean you won't forget it.

Don't forget that this is all about you. smile


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
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Pyrite Offline OP
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yeah i know - just posted on Bob's , in response to Cadet "So whats wrong with LBH getting over WAS". Feel free to answer if Cadet misses it.


M: 6 T: 12
Kids: 2,4
BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015
EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,014
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Pyrite Offline OP
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I expect Mr Bond back soon with his club smile


M: 6 T: 12
Kids: 2,4
BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015
EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 173
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Originally Posted By: Pyrite
I am pathetic frown.


Nah man, that was a really hard set of circumstances.

I would have been curled up, bawling my eyes out on the bathroom floor.

You handled it well. You did your best. It [censored], but you lived through it.


Me: 35 Her (WAW): 34
D8, S5, D2
T:16, M:9
BD + D: 4/3/2015
EA Confirmed 5/6/2015
Separation under the same roof
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 556
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This is the most painful episode in my life. My father, brother in law (of 30years) and sister all passed away with 18months of each other and the hurt and pain of this is so much deeper.

I am not being dramatic, I am finding this so much harder to cope with.

I am holding myself to a mirror and changing the things I see about my self that I do not like so I can move forward and not just focus on saving my M.


Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18
EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13
Move to work abroad Sept 14
re establish contact with OW while away
D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15

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Originally Posted By: Pyrite
Thanks Smothy, you too. I never imagined anything so hard. It seems like the past is crapped all over, the future is upside-down, and the present is just rubbing it in.

This^^ is 100% perception. YES it is. (I know you are already arguing "but no, it's reality and it's unfair to ME and I am hurt"...)

But if another person were to look at your past, they might see a man with 2 healthy children and a job, selling a home and those 3 FACTS alone (your wife cannot change those) make you a fortunate man.

As for the present & certainly your future; it's what you create. You know, there are choices in this process.;

Exercise CHOICE or be stuck. But know that being stuck is another choice.


That said, I do feel much better after a walk, half successful meditation on the VERY windy beach. And you know what started THIS downturn. Last night when I picked the girls up from day care i can see W's initialisation in sign in book.


If you cannot let go of an accidental use of her married name, allowing it to start "THIS DOWNTURN"

you will be suffering longer than you need to. Let it go. The more upset and depressed you get, the less available you are for your children AND for real GAL

Move on..."NEXT!" cool

She must've forgotten herself, Freudian slip perhaps,but she signed in using married name (initials). This is a first since BD, uses maiden name.



Then d4 drops the biting game commentary.


This^^ is in the past, & you already passed it on to your wife and there's nothing more to do or say about it. Let it go.


This morning I get to work to flat out denial email, blaming d4's confused memory AND I will call the agent and say go on the sale then.

I am pathetic frown.



So, what are YOU going to DO/PLAN THIS WEEK to further your healing process?


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Originally Posted By: Pyrite
I expect Mr Bond back soon with his club smile


Maybe it's just me, but I don't think^^ these comments are funny. To me they are not helpful.

Sometimes they sound almost like you are whining about a veteran here, who donates A LOT of his time for free.

But maybe I'm just reading it incorrectly. How about putting the focus on what YOU can do for your life to be better.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
Likes: 1
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Originally Posted By: Zues126
Good. Your posts % of including WAW's behavior has rebounded into the upper 80% range.

Just because you learn something doesn't mean you won't forget it.

Don't forget that this is all about you. smile


this^^^


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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