Toot Toot - here I come!

[alpha99]

Hi Toots,

I think it's important not to let emotion cloud filing decisions and what you may accept as the cited reason. I wouldn't file if you don't want a D, don't accept any non valid reasons either just to be seen as being helpful, but do be co-operative where possible. If your H should file he may well expect you to fight/delay things. Being timely in replies rather than dragging things out will help create a co-operative feeling, and after all you're not going to get H back should he go through with filing by providing resistance there. Just my thoughts

[rd500]

Hi Toots. I wouldn't concern myself at the moment. Wait and see what he comes up with. I'm not trying to keep hope alive but remember one of the first things on this board is to believe 50% of what they say. His last email seemed to me like he was trying to convince himself more than you. Give yourself time and let H do the running Time will show all and that's the time to concern yourself about it


Take care. Rd. xx

[edz]

Hi toots

What they all said ^^^^^^

If you dont want to divorce then dont file. Yes our uk system is a little weird really, I drove myself nuts last year figuring out what w could file under. In fact in retrospect unreasonable behaviour probably could have been argued given the state depression had me in not that I'd have seen it then!

Ultimately my advice is to find the box, you remember where you left it? And put this in there for now. Enjoy cooking, weather is grey here too but roast pork is filling the house with nice smells right now! And chill, you're right to quote the db 50% rule especially if h is in mlc as it certainly appears by any definition. If you've truly had enough file you certainly have grounds, if not park it and get on with being an outstanding tootler

(((((Toots)))))

Have a great one.

[gan]

How are you feeling, Toots? How did dinner go?

[Vanilla]

Toots

The English system is distinctly odd. However it does require unreasonable behaviour etc, I suggest you sit and wait. If H files then he may agree to something very bland indeed.

Did you ever blow your nose loudly, clutter the kitchen, eat toast in bed? Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, fail to put the hot water on, buy the wrong bacon or heaven forbid forget the apple juice?

That would do it!

V

[Sotto]

Thanks Gan, Alpha, RD, Edz and V - you guys are great!

So, the advice is - don't worry about any of that just yet.....noted - will do my best!

Yes, we had a nice lunch thanks Gan. It's good being so near to Mum and Dad. Mum needs a lot of care now, and Dad has a tough time of it, so it's good to be part of their support network. Puss is also doing well, and her coat looks nicer after some daily grooming. She had a once over at the vets last week, and we're back again next week for some routine tests....that's two old ladies who need looking after in my life!

I got a nice call from the lady who runs the divorce recovery workshop yesterday. We spoke for about 20 mins, and she asked a little about our sitch. They have run 20 workshops each for 10 people over the past 10 years, and still have 130 people on their mailing list. People often remain involved in the workshops as facilitators and there's quite a social scene linked to them. All sounds good. I just missed a workshop and their next isn't until Nov, but it might be nice to have a winter plan to look forward to. I'm still mulling the option of a weekend workshop, so we'll see.

No news from H. Heard from SS's Mum though. He has exams coming up and is busy revising. We hope to get together during the next half term week, so that should be nice. It's weird that H wants a new family in his life and feels he missed out on being a 'full' Dad, but is actually spending much less time with SS right now. Oh well.

I'm doing okay anyway - thanks for asking. I have a busy couple of weeks coming up with the new job and various other social/elections commitments. Have a good day all xx

[twinmom]

Toots, you are truly an inspiration for me. The more I read the more I am inspired to be like you. Full of grace, love and strength. You are amazing.

[Sotto]

Twin, that's very kind - thank you. How are things going with you these days my friend? It's a bank holiday today in the UK, and a quietish day for me, which I don't mind. I've been out shopping, made a nice lunch, done some work at a coffee shop, and I'm off to Mum-sit in an hour or so.

I officially start my new job tomorrow, so that will be a busy one. Then I'm out at a fashion show with my ladies social group Wed eve - looking forward to that...

Hope everyone is doing well today xx

[jim0987]

Hi Toots,

it feels almost like your H has this idea that he wasnt happy with his life so he can some how hit a reset button and get a do over. I wouldnt be surprised if somewhere along the way you find out he's decided to go back to college because deep down he always wanted to be a Architect/Fireman/Beautician either that or he's joined a circus.

But like all the advice you've been given its a case of dont worry about it. Speak to a lawyer to know how you want to take some things forward an enjoy the good things your situation has done for your life (like being close to your mum and dad, us etc.)

I hope the new job goes well, enjoy your first day

[rd500]

Hi Toots. Sounds like a nice day. Have a great day tomorrow with the new job.

Take care and the best of luck. Rd xx