She's leaving tomorrow. I don't know if its really over. But it feels like BD all over again. And I have to watch her drive off again tomorrow. I cant do it again. I just don't have it in me.
T, yes you can. You can do so many things that you think you aren't capable of. You are so very young, T, and you have so much life left to experience. You can't see it now, but this is just one if those things that will open your eyes and make you stronger in the end. If my H had left me at 28 I would have felt the same way. But he left me after my circle had been touched by cancer, alcoholism, chronic disease, natural disasters. I knew I could experience things and come out the other side. The day he left I took my daughters out to dinner and got a third ear piercing. I felt the pain but it didn't define me. My point is, T, yes your pain is real and it's huge but it's not all of you. It's part of your life and you will be fine if you allow yourself to be. Please give yourself the gift of feeling the pain while seeing beyond it and realizing it won't last forever.
Tlee, please try not to lose hope. We are all here for you my friend. Things may seem dark right now. But remember that WAS say all kinds of things that turn out later not to be true. Things are only really over when you decide they are, because our WAS may tell us it is all ove - but truly only time will tell for us. My H told me he wants to file for D this week. He feels that's the path he wants to take right now. Will that always be the case? IDK - but I'm still hoping for the best but planning for the worst.
My best advice is to just get yourself through the next little period of time. Take it steady, breathe and be calm. It isn't BD again, because you have become different since then. You know so much more now about yourself and your M, okay?
Do you have supportive friends or family locally who can help you? If not, keep posting here, we are open 24/7. If you want to talk to someone, remember the crisis lines can help. Also know that our lives are much, much more than our M's and R's. Whilst this is tough, we can all move forward to happy futures, whether or not we manage to save our M's. Take care TLee - you can do this my friend. (((TLEE)))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
TLee, you can and WILL get through this. I know it is SO hard to think of your spouse leaving. But, trust me when I tell you, once she is gone, you will find your own way. Like Toots said, just get through this, steady and calm. Lean on friends and family if you can and post here all you need to.
It is very hard, at times. I know it is. Years from now, this will be but a distant memory. You have so much life ahead of you and you have the world at your feet. Stay the course, my friend, and there will be sunshine in your days again.
Take care of yourself!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Try to keep yourself warm and though we often concentrate on how bad we are feeling now, everything changes. When things get better and they will, take the time to recognize that.
We focus too much on the bad and forget to recognize when the bad passes.
Originally Posted By: Vanilla posted on last thread
TLee can I ask you to open a new thread because we DBers want to be with you on this very tough phase of your journey.
TLee, please breathe slowly and steadily, feel your feet grounded to the floor firmly and lift your head. Whether you feel like it or no, please smile.
Do you have a safe friend you can talk to today and perhaps stay with tomorrow? Please keep posting my dear one, we are here on what will be a difficult day.
Know this, it will never ever be this much hurt again in this sitch, Tlee you will have resilience in your life and R. The principles of detachment and DB will see you through. Trust the process, rest as much as you can, be calm, breathe gently and if you need to let go at any stage find a quiet place and its ok.
The love and strength you need are being projected to you by both MCS and V, others will join us. Feel the power and peace headed to you from the higher power and let it channel. Accept the great gift of support headed your way, you deserve every little portion of it.
When you wake it will be a new dawn, things will be different but the dark night of your soul will have passed. Tlee don't resist, accept the changes and all will be as it should be.
((((((((Hugs))))))))) V
Zelda also posted to you Tlee in case you missed it.
Update us my friend.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
