I let H know in advance that I will continue with my plans for the fight parties (I actually have like 4 party invites).
H seemed a lil surprised and ask me what about s14 if H does not get fight at home, I told him S14 would be able to go with me, some invites I can take s14.
H said he might still have the party at home for his sons and friend. I told him that would be great, I know they will have a great time.
I did tell him I MIGHT come home for the main event (ss34 and GF and new baby may come), but would watch the other fights with friends, and If I do watch main event at home, once its over will head to another friends for her fight after party...it will be a long fun night next weekend
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
SO you know how when you got something in the back of your mind and something happens that has nothing to do with the thing in back of your mind,,,brings the back of the mind stuff directly to the front...
Dr apt today, did not go as a I planned, tests that I did not think would occur.
I come home, H is here ask about my apt and BAM to the front it comes.
I told him about apt, told H if I was to be really sick who would take care of me!!!
He said he would and look at me, like he was hurt, said he would take care of me even if he had moved across the world and had married 3 other wives etc..
I told him I dont want no more of this R, dont want his obligation, told him I want and deserved to be loved by a man the way I want to be loved and that he was no longer that Man!!!
Told him that his guilt or obligation has me and him both stuck in something we dont want to be in!
Then H starts to talk about the years I was a WAS and ask me if I knew what I wanted, if I was sure, what was going on in my mind at that time...
I told him I did not know, and again I apologized, but again told him I dont want to be in this type of R anymore, told him I'd rather take my chances,,
H told me, now Im back but was away from him a very long time.
H said he was trying to come to term with everything. I have no idea what this means.
Oh before all this started H had initated sex, once the talk was over I ask if he stil wanted to, he said no not now,,I said why not its just sex, he was like you just told me how you felt, I said its not like we ML its sex so why not still have it,
H said whenever he is with me its ML, I told him I cannot tell, I said how can you ignore someone emotionally and mentally , no loving touches, not being in a real R, then have sex and thinks it ML I told him not to me, we just have sex!
I told H this is not what I want, told him not with him, told him I loved him and if this is all he has, I dont want it.
H said he does not do things out of obligation, he does things cause he wants to, and it rights and he is loyal.
WTF, I said when I was a WAS you had other outlets, other women,,he did not deny (he cannot deny this) but said he did not always have an outlet he did whatever he could to get my attention to try and make me happy, said he waited and waited for me to love him back.
I said so now what, I apologized Ive change, so now what..
H said again that he held on, he waited he never gave up or threw in the towel and he has not now, that he is still here trying and that I now want to give up, to throw in the towel.
OMGoodness I ddid not mean to have any talks, I did not mean to say anything.
I don't know what is next, what is going to happen now.
Last edited by 2BHappy; 04/23/1505:51 PM.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Now that you've said what is on your mind, step back and sit quietly. You've given your h a lot to digest. The ball is in his court as to who makes the next move.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H called from work to tell me he hears me is paying attention to what Im saying..
Then he tells me he is signing up for all the OT he can get so he can pau for the rhings I want fixed around the house....
This will end up someway blamed on me...
I hope he is really thinking about what I said today.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Soo H texted then called me about what was his income last year on his taxes. I texted that I dont know, I printed off his copy last year and gave to him. H then called and said he was trying to see his credit report and needed this information and that he is going to work with a credit repair company to get his credit issues resolved.
I told him I would look for the tax copy once I get home. I wanted to tell him that he really does not need to use a credit repair company, but since he did not ask my opinion and I dont want to be his mom, I just kept my mouth SHUT.
Its good but interesting that he is now also wanting to repair his credit.
Could his wanting to repair credit issues and his tax debt be a sign of him "growing" trying to fix stuff? His credit issues and tax issues he has ignored for YEARS.
Could this be a good sign? I know it could also be part of his escape plan, but either way its something he needs to resolve.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
You can look at his wanting to repair his credit in two ways: 1) he's finally realizing that you do not want the IRS to come after you and garnish things that have your name on them, i.e., refund, savings, checking, etc.; or 2) he realizes that he can't make it on his own if his credit is a mess, so he wants to get it cleaned up before moving on w/his life.
To be honest, it could be either choice. So, I would sit back and watch the parade zooming by and just wait and see.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job I want it resolve/fixed I do not want IRS after me, all the research I have done shows I should not have to worry. always separate bank accts, mever filed taxes together, always married filing separately.
H needs it fixed either way more for himself.
Option 2, Im as prepared as I can be.
I did not look for his tax info today...did not feel like it, he needs to find it himself. I will look for it when i feel like it.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I provided H his income, for the taxes in 2013, but I think what he is asking for is 2014, which is the taxes he filed with ss34.
I just left the information, did not ask any more questions or try to clarify which year did you really want? (Not being his mother)
H decided finally NOT to get the Mayweather fight, he was actually going to get it and go to work, when I told him AGAIN I have plans and S14 and I have places we can watch...then yesterday he heard me on phone discussing plans with my GF, he in a huff said "I'm not getting the fight here at home, I can watch it after work with some friends if I get off in time,,,and I see you have many other options anyway" DUH I told you that 1 week ago...
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Yes, you did tell him that you had plans...but he forgot or he thought you would change your mind and stay at the house. Now, that he's heard you talking of your plans, he's pouting. Poor baby.
Go and have fun.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
