So, about the Guinea Pigs. Again, it's not their fault so I will continue to look after them because it's the right thing to do. I will look after them and all the other animals, because that is part of being responsible. My bills will be paid, even tough he has not paid for the ones that he still owes for. I will feel better because I know I can and do live without him every day. Today is an easy day for me. I'm going to study the motorcycle book so I am well prepared for the M1 test that I want to take tomorrow. Friday night my course starts. I'm excited yet nervous. This is something I really wanted, yet thought was out of my realm of possibilities. I can and will do this!!!! I am a little disappointed with myself. I really wanted to hit the gym this morning and do Aqua Therapy (yoga in water), but got too engrossed in reading "Nuggets of Wisdom" on the board. Lol! I will not beat myself up too much about it. I did have a great workout last night doing Aqua Fitness. Tonight I would like to check out a Meditation group running in my area. Still working on the letting it go thing. Every time I think about my H and how unfair this situation is for me I start to count my blessings, starting with my children and my loving wonderful animals. I do visualize myself in the future, happy with my husband happy as well. We both were so unhappy for the past few years. We had so many things thrown at us right from the beginning. His job loss, difficult relationships with my children and then my illness! We just didn't know how to communicate with each other. I just ran to work more, making myself sick, because I thought money would be the solution. It wasn't! Mind you, if I won the lottery it would make GAL activities so much more fun. I have not seen or talked to my H in 10 days. Had a brief text exchange 3 days ago, then received the brush off ( no response ). The deal was that he was to come by and clean the Guinea cage once a week and visit with the dog. He came once in 3 weeks. He was to arrange with his friends to pick up the rest of his stuff, that was 2 weeks ago. I did pack up everything and put it out in the garage....where it still sits. Lol!! I did e-mail him a screen shot of the Rogers Bill I received yesterday morning. No words or anything attached. I did wonder if that was a mistake. He owes for his cell phone, but I do know that he is pretty much broke right now and one of the things we always argued about was his lack of responsibility in taking care of the bills he was supposed to pay. I don't want to harp on him to pay what he owes, but I don't see why I should pay his bills. Btw, his cell has been switched to his own account now and the outstanding balance is what he owes from when we were still together.
Any thoughts on how to proceed?
NC is hard, but seems the only thing besides GAL that I can do right now.
Last edited by Diana45; 04/21/1504:53 PM.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Detaching is so difficult when you wake up in the morning missing them so very much.
I know how that feels. It takes time to get past that. One morning, early on in my situation, I woke up all panicked thinking that everything happening was a nightmare. Then I saw the empty spot in the bed beside me.
*hugs*
Me:43, WW:45 2 Kids: 21,22 Married: 23 Years Bomb: 01/2015 Separate Bedrooms: 02/2015 She left: 03/2015
Thankfully the spot beside me is never empty. My dog and cats always surround me. First night I woke up not remembering that he was gone. Then it all hit me again. That was tough. Sometimes I come home expecting him to be there. It has been 4 days with absolutely no contact. I'm kind of getting used to it. Most everyone in my life says good riddance. A man that leaves his wife during chemo treatments isn't right. I still love him, but they are right. I would have never done that to him.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
I had an eventful day. I got my M1 motorcycle licence and I bought myself a bike. I'm so proud of myself. Unfortunately, the first thing I thought about was telling my H and how excited he would have been. Took a big breath and woohooed in my car on the way home. Can't wait to get the bike next week. Lots to do over the next few days, getting it safetied and registered. I want to buy a new helmet and get some gloves tomorrow, maybe even some raingear. Friday, Saturday and Sunday is my motorcycle training course.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
NC is hard. Keep treating contact with him as a preference, not a need. Of course you'd prefer it, but you don't need it. Like when I go to order something but they're out- I just choose something else without freaking out.
So...I went through my phone and social media contacts and made a list of people I haven't really communicated with for awhile. Every time I get the urge to call or text my wife, I'll reach out to somebody on that list instead. I've made it a happy thing. I haven't even really gone into details with them about my situation, I just try to keep the focus on them.
I don't nervously check each text anymore thinking it could be her. I have great conversations with people as I cook, do laundry, ride the bike at the gym, drive, or get ready for bed. By the time my head is on the pillow I'm sick of my phone and wouldn't pick up even if she called because I'm too tired :}
Kudos on the motorcycle stuff. It's staying busy and doing something for you. I'm proud of you.
Detaching is so difficult when you wake up in the morning missing them so very much.
Hi Diana,
It most certainly is. For at least 2 weeks after my W left, I would wake up in a panic wondering what happened to her. Then the reality would set in.
It's been 6 months, but I am not giving up! Please hang in there. We are here for you, we understand.
Regards,
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I deleted my H's new cell number so I don't get tempted to call or text him randomly. It is still so difficult, since that was a daily thing I did every day for almost 5 years. Just little texts to say I love you, I miss you. He did the same to me. I still have most of the texts. Right until the day he moved out. He has now gone cold, does not text me or engage me in any way. I feel like I am living in limbo. Lots of his stuff is still here, the animals. He just cut off all contact. That hurts! I want to take steps forward to finalize things, but can't with out his co-operation. And no, not divorce proceedings. In Canada you have to wait a full year to file after separation.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
