Hi there, Its been long since Ive been here but just wanted to check on you. Looks like you 'got things going on' and have a good life. Im curious to see where thid thing with your ex is going. I really admire your persistance, I dont think Zi want my ex back anymore after these last weeks. You are more willing to fight then I am, I admire you for it. I look forward to reading your posts!
Me: 36 Him: 36 DD: 3y DD2: 1.5mo Together: 5y Married: > 3y D: April 1st '15 after 1y of affairs
Mom22 so great to hear from you! I have been thinking of you many times. Did you have your baby yet? How are you doing? Settled in your new place?
Don't knock yourself. This journey is not for the faint hearted. Sometimes we are better if the man we were with cant step up he the a sits down so we can see the man behind him.
At times I am seeing my STBX as he was before this Crisis in his life. This reminds me of the man I knew. I think I will always feel some form of heart connection with him. Whether that means we reconnect at some point in the future as a couple I don't know. All I do know is that I have to live my life and keep moving forward one step at a time. He will be paying me another 25 K of the 50 he still owes me next week. I sent him a reminder that I hadn't forgotten...lol. I said even if there is a point somewhere down the road that we were to get closer that is all a long way off and I need to look after my self and my future. Still no talk of Divorce though.
I have learned enough to know that with MLC the last reconnection is with the LBS. I know that he is on a journey he needs to complete and if I push him or pressure him he will remain in his MLC tunnel. I can tell he is moving back and forth as his behaviour is somewhat inconsistent. I don't want another ride on his rollercoster so I have to keep myself busy and filing my life. I am healthy and fit and I don't want to waste these years. If someone else comes along I am not closed to that option. Although at this point it would take someone pretty special to get my attention. Lol
Keep in touch Mom22 and V thanks for your comments too. Always happy to hear from you.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Im doing good all things considered. My baby was born 1.5w early but is doing well except for reflux issues. My DD is doing well too and she's taken the move and her new sister very well. Im very proud of her. Im very happy to be in my own place, I love it here. Though its hard to be on my own with a newborn itwas harder to live with him and his disrespectful and unpredictable behaviour.
My ExH is sometimes very helpful, sometimes a total d***. He has a new gf since 2mo (she was in our house when I was pregnant and after delivery they saw eachother daily whilr i was still living there at his request). He s already introduced her to our DD (I found out through her) though insists it was coincidence. She doesnt get this new person, she barely gets mom and dad are mot together anymore. She does well but this is not goodfor her. Im scheduled with an American therapist to discuss strategies to keep him from doing harmful stuff to our DD. He sees the baby a few hours a week (doesnt use most of the options I give him) and I ve decided not to give her to him for 2d a month at 3-4mo. I dont trust him with her (he s always on his phone, also when she cries) and I dont want this other person taking care of her either. if he wants time with her he s going to have to show me he really wants to and its safe. I agree that one never knows whats in the future. We might het back together some day. He does have his good moments. But it would be very long term as I think it ll take years for him to accept he has problems. If ever.
Im really glad you are moving on so well, your life sounds good. You re very positive, thats good too. Im planning fun stuff too. I have friends over for visits and walk outside with my baby, enjoying the hustle and bustle of a big city again. My sister is coming for a weekend in August and we are planning a holiday abroad later in the year, me my kids and her and her boyfriend. I start working again in 7 weeks. I will be ok. Im just stressed about my exH's lack of inderstanding towards what he is doing to our DD. But well... We ll have to see what happens.
Take care Karma and keep us posted!
Me: 36 Him: 36 DD: 3y DD2: 1.5mo Together: 5y Married: > 3y D: April 1st '15 after 1y of affairs
So glad to hear you and your baby girl are healthy. It must be hard being on your own. I totally understand what you are saying though. It's easier to live on your own in peace than to be walking on egg shells.
Your ex sounds like he is still in a confused place. I would also be wary leaving a new baby with him at this point. What woman would want a man who has a new born baby. I'd be running fast! Lol
It's a shame you have to return to work so quickly. New Mums here in Canada get a year off. I'm glad you have lots of support. It sounds like you have your head in the right place. It's not easy......
Keep in touch! Big hugs Karma
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Not too much to report. STBX has been sending a few emails with help for my brother and his custody issues. STBX was on a business trip this week. He texted me from the plane. SD made the honour role at school so we were chatting about how proud we were.
STBX was travelling to the U.S. He had an anxiety attack trav losing there a few yrs ago when we were still together. He panicked when they wanted to question him at the border and I had to go and pick him up. He was a bit nervous on the plane when he texted me. I assured him he would get through ok and to just be himself going through customs. He said the plane was going to take off. I wished him a safe trip. The next morning I texted and said that no one from immigration called me to come get you so I'm assuming you made it? He texted back right away and said haha Ya I made it! Lol I said great! Now enjoy NY. He thanked me.
Other than those texts and a couple of emails we haven't had any contact for he last couple of days. He should be home now but will be going on another business trip in a week. I will be going to Mexico with SD and my D July 11. for a week.
I plan on staying back and being a friend. One that always looks good if he sees me lol but not expecting or asking for anything. I have lots coming up to keep me busy.
Thanks for checking in V. : )
Hugs K
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Well I didn't have to wait too long for contact. STBX texted me at 330 am. He sent me a photo he had taken in NY of a cheesecake place. The name of it was the same as my D. She has a Scottish name that is not common in North America. I guess the Universe is sending him reminders of me and my family. Lol. It's strange but I knew it was a text from him when I heard the ping on my phone. I didn't reply until this afternoon. All I said back was " that's awesome. I'll forward it to D.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Thanks Mom22 nice to know you are still around. I hope you know I am thinking of you and sending you positive energy.
My STBX sent an email tonight to help out my brother. I had stopped by the house to drop off a dress and floaty thing I had bought SD for our trip. STBX was thankful and was on his way out so we didn't get a chance to talk much.
I have one more set at work before our Vacation. Looking very much forward to getting away.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
