Your head is telling you to jump back into THAT sh*t ^^^^, 100%???
Well, when you put it THAT way....I'm remembering the 20.5 years before that, where she wasn't acting that way. I wasn't always happy during that time myself, but that was MY responsibility, not hers.
Bottom line, I'm terrified of screwing this up....either staying with her and regretting it, or leaving her and regretting it.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
NH - I think that's why you need to leave ASAP. Set her up with help and take off.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
It hit me the other day after flying with a student. We had been up practicing what to do if the engine quits in cruise flight. I asked him, "what's your first order of business in an emergency?". "Pitch for best glide speed?", he said. I answered "No". "Switch fuel tanks?". "No".
I finally said, "The first order of business in any emergency is to fly the airplane." You can follow all the checklist procedures perfectly, but if you lose control of the aircraft, it won't matter. If you keep control of the airplane all the way to the ground, then your chances of survival go up dramatically.
Thank you for this metaphor, very helpful to me.
M: 8 years, together 9 M: 41 W: 32 D 4, S 6 ILYBINILWY 2/10/15 2/14/15-2/22/15 Left home 4/5/15 Suspect A, Initiated Sandi's advice from WW thread 4/19/15 W asked for D
I'll cop to that. I'm afraid of breaking up my family for temporary reasons, and I'm afraid of spending the rest of my life with the wrong person, and neither one of us are happy.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Look, stop seeing this as breaking up your family. All I was saying was to get away from her for a few days. Why is that so difficult for you? I understand the part about post surgery care, but apart from that.......you are using "breaking up the family for temporary reasons" as your excuse?
Why couldn't you see, "I need to get away a few days in order to save my family"? What about her seeing what she was losing? But instead, you hung around to get kicked in the teeth.......again. Even when you are doubting your own feelings for her? You had rather stay till neither of you can stand the sight of each other?
Well, there is only a window of time where walking away is effective in the WW's attitude adjustment, but that's just me.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
