Looks like your work is starting to pay off ... just reading this you are sounding confident in the face of the storm which I think is key. I had to smile with the 'caught ya lookin' sitch .... just love that OW can text and skype all she wants ... those little moments can not be duplicated.
Fingers crossed for the job prospects ... happy to see you had a good Easter ... sometimes we just need to get through a holiday that could be stressful with no hitches just to know we can.
Thanks for the crossed fingers on the job! Still waiting to hear from them, but I feel really positive that something good is just over the horizon for me...
And so true about those moments -- OW's reach right now is limited... I'm here all the time (which can be a good and a bad thing -- obviously!), which allows for more of those kinds of moments. I really do think seeing me in the dress caught her by surprise in a good way. And others commented on how I looked as well -- including her sister who said to me as she hugged me goodbye (in front of my W) "You look REALLY great by the way!" -- and I heard from her mom today that a good family friend told her later in the day on Easter Sunday (via a phone call) that she saw me with everyone at church and thought I looked so beautiful (and W's mom thought the same thing). Did it make her wake up and fall back in love instantly? -- nope... But 1) that's not why I wore it (wore it for myself as one of my personal changes for me) and 2) I do have faith that it will be one of the many moments that will be processed later on down through the tunnel.
I've been reflecting on this journey a bit today and I realized something... As the LBS -- and an LBS who found this site -- I know so much more about my spouse that OW can ever know (just from being in her physical presence on a daily basis for 10 years) and I know that she is definitely going through a MLC... OW doesn't really understand that W is in a major MLC and is too young to really understand what that is and what it means in terms of major life change anyway. And -- because I did find this site early enough to understand that I have to go through my own process/journey of growth and maturity, I am going on that journey for myself... As someone else said on an earlier post on this thread -- I am probably already lightyears ahead of my W in terms of growth and maturity -- which also means that I am lightyears ahead of OW as well, and I am VERY well aware of the need to be on this journey... something OW will not understand for probably another 20 years... I'm rambling right now, but the point I am trying to make is that if anyone is capable right now of being a rock and a lighthouse, it's definitely me and not OW -- she has absolutely no clue what she is really dealing with in terms of being involved with my W right now at this point in my W's life.
But W still has a way to go before she's ready to look within... So for now I am working hard to be the rock and lighthouse for myself and my kids.
But speaking of W -- the hits just keep coming... Can't go into details, but she had a terrible day at work with something brewing that could result in her losing her job. From a spiritual perspective I just see this as one more message from God... I can see all of this so clearly -- He is definitely trying to get her to wake up by delivering one consequence after another for her behavior and choices... In terms of MLC -- what is happening is very clearly a result of her poor choices and poor actions due to her inability to handle the stress and depression.
Really hoping that I get that job offer this week -- I might soon become the primary breadwinner in the house very soon if things go the direction they appear to be going with W's employment sitch. And that would certainly turn some tables in this household...
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
No real update today... nothing has changed and I still have not heard about the job... Just wanted to post to put this out there into the universe:
Life is good.
God is good.
In the end, all of this will work out for the best for everyone involved. I know this about my situation and I pray this for all other LBS's and your MLC'ers. Hang in there... the ride is wild, but the key is to see the experience as an opportunity to grow, mature, and become more than you ever thought possible. Don't let this defeat you. Accept the challenge -- don't just survive, pick yourself up and thrive in the midst of the storm.
Life is too short to do otherwise.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Jer, If you don't hear anything by Monday morning, call and inquire as to the status of the position. It could be that w/spring break people haven't been around to meet w/the interviewer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yep -- planning to do that. Wanted to give them at least one week from the interview. I will probably have another interview next week for a position in a different department, so it will be easy and make sense to contact them to inquire and let them know about the other interview -- might prompt them to make a decision if I am the top candidate so they don't lose me to another department :-)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
I just emailed the person I interviewed with last week... sent a very professional inquiry about their timeline for hiring and let them know that I have another interview next week for another position in a different department and that I am applying for another position in a different department. I stated clearly that while I am interviewing and applying for other positions, that my first choice is the position for which I interviewed last week and even stated some additional information to confirm my commitment to that specific position.
Please send out positive energy and/or prayers that I get a very positive email back from him -- I REALLY want this job!
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Also, it is also nice to send a thank you card. It keep you fresh in their mind, gives you an opportunity to note something you may have missed or want to reiterate, and reminds them of how awesome you are.
He was just about to call me to make a verbal offer when he checked his email and saw the email from me... And he had just finished speaking with HR to hash out a salary offer -- an amazing salary offer!!!!
I accepted without hesitation. :-)
God is definitely working in my life moving some mountains.
Not sure of start date yet -- still have to process paperwork through HR, but I now have an amazing new job that is far beyond what I had hoped for in terms of going back in to the district.
I am so excited!
Oh -- BTW Wonka -- apparently your crystal ball WAS right! I did get the job offer this week!
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
