Bea, I guess the Easter Bunny threw him out his hole. LOL! I'm not the least bit surprised to come here and see he's dropped you a note.
As for going back in time...yes, they can go back as far as they need to go in order to figure things out. As a child, do you know if his grandfather was alive at that time? If so, the grandfather may have been the key to stunting his emotional growth at a very young age.
It's going to get interesting in the months ahead because he's sharing things he's doing. You may discover a lot about his childhood if he opens up and shares w/you. I know you are a good listener and will listen to what he has to say.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job, my xh's husband is a little strange in many ways (no surprises there) His grandfather emigrated to the US back in the 1870s when he was a young boy - he was well over 40 when my fil was born and he was over 40 when my xh was born, and my xh is no spring chicken. Most people have 5 generations in the time they have 3!!
Lots of mysteries, including the money he came with (enough to go to the best medical schools etc) his real parentage and a very unusual name . . . . . A family much given to secrets. My xh didn't know his father had been married before until he was in his late twenties. We found out by chance, then we spent an agonizing time deciding whether to tell his siblings, and wondering if his mother knew . . . . Honestly it is like a soap opera. In the end we told the siblings and never discussed it with his mother, even after his father died (at a ripe old age)
I think the strangeness of the family is the key. Very very buttoned up.
His mother's family is also odd . . . . . but I will save that for another time. More like an O'Neill play there.
I agree with Job. If you are patient I think you'll see and hear some interesting things about xh. Don't miss it!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
At the moment each email is as if it written by a different person.
The most recent one directed me to a tv series he thought I might like (and which I hadn't caught first time around) He had just bought the boxed set - yes there are still people out there who do that. No idea why when you can stream . ... .
His communication is all so very random. Another strange thing is that the series is not the sort of thing my xh would have watched at one time. It is actually very good, just not his sort of thing at all .. ..
If the emails sound like different people are posting them to you, then it could be that his "various" personalities are trying to merge together. Keep in mind that he was splintered personality wise when he went into crisis and thus the masks came into play.
Bea, I think things are going to be very interesting because you are going to actually see more and more of what's going on w/him. Time will tell...but I think the answers are finally going to be revealed to you. It's evident that meeting up w/you has started his movement forward and I do hope and pray that he returns to earth a more settled and contented man.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job, I have no idea what is going on, and your insights are valuable. He is still guarded, but much more friendly of late. I never initiate an exchange, but reply politely. Life seems easier if I acknowledge him. He can't bear to be ignored.
Bea, Sit back and listen. I think you are doing the right thing by responding back when he posts. You are his lifeline to the present. He's still floundering in murky water and sees you there on the shore as his lighthouse.
If you ignore him, he will become desperate, i.e., as he did before. In his mind, he needs to know that you are still out there, even though you have moved on.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am OK with that. I can honestly say I have moved past all that he did. It is a long time ago now, and I think he is starting to understand the scale of the damage . . . .
