This post is a beautiful thing MB! Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend.
I would, and in fact did, figure out how to stay in a neighborhood like you describe. I can't walk everywhere but I have great neighbors, activities, friends right outside my door. Not to mention the natural beauty.
I thought of taking on a housemate, renting my house out and moving to a much smaller guest house in the same neighborhood, I did get a second job for awhile....
Every idea I could think of was on the table.
I hope it works out in the best way for you and your family.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I'm happy I'm still here but I stayed here out of fear and anger, at least in the beginning. Fear of everything (money, new mortgage, moving on my own, etc) and anger about "Just another way (H) screwed up my life."
I can see very clearly that I was holding on to what I thought "should" be and creating my own suffering.
Several people encouraged me to just wait for that storm of emotion to pass and it did. Even a little further down the road I got to a place where I knew that I would be fine and maybe even better, no matter where I landed.
I let go. Took a leap of faith that all would be OK just as your tag line says. Just as it seems you're doing.
Dr Strangelove: How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
The lawyers finished the settlement agreement today and I'm signing tomorrow. Then it will be off to STBX's attorney and another big check mark crossed off my moving-forward list.
We met the listing agent for the house. She was so dynamic and she spoke STBX's language so I didn't have to sell it at all. That was good.
D12 was quite surly about it but -- MIRACLE! -- she actually told (snarled) her issue to me and I was able to answer it. She started making it all my fault and so I said, "I understand you are upset. I'm not too happy either. Please understand, this isn't what I want, but I need you to not put me in the position of speaking against your dad." She stopped giving me grief. Later I said that I promised that if she had any questions about anything that I would be as honest as I could. Then I just left it. She's still pretty snarly but she dialed it back enough that I could overlook it.
STBX stopped in the middle of the house tour to send a text. The look on his face suggests to this mind-reading lady that he was pushing off a date with his girlfriend (who I believe I've identified). I don't know this to be true, but I do believe it to be true. Which is useful in that I realized... I've moved into a phase of caring less than I did. And if he has "replaced" me with a new girlfriend, well, that says way more about him than about me. Because if he still wants a relationship but he isn't willing to be honest enough with me to get his needs met (or generous enough to meet mine, or confident enough to be "uncomfortable" co-running family business...), then swapping me out for Woman 2.0 (2.3? 4.2? The 6?) isn't going to get him the happily ever after. I'm not the Flaw In The Plan.
And I stood there this evening and I looked him full in the face, and the hole in my heart seemed smaller. A LOT smaller. And he seemed less desirable and I'm interested in my future.
It is nice to think I'm finally beginning to grow up.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
You know, I think feeling sick about it is a true, maybe even expected, feeling in this circumstance and gaining an understanding of why you feel that way is the process. Not letting it drive you is the result of the process.
I feel sick to my stomach right now and that's OK, my life is changing. I don't have to reproach myself, or try to cajole myself out of it. I just need to breathe, feel it, understand it and let it pass.
It's hard to do with some of our "darker" emotions, but that's my self-talk during those times.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
And honestly, wouldn't it be more strange to not feel bad about this? Divorce suxx. People should feel badly about it, regardless of the circumstances.
but I have great neighbors, activities, friends right outside my door. Not to mention the natural beauty.