Keep on keeping on

[Miman2]

Hello HeavyD,

It sounds like you handled your recent run in really well.

To top it off it sounds like you were able to come away from the interaction with your PMA intact as well!

[HeavyD]

Thanks for the kind words. Where had my we gone? She had obviously been replaced by a pod person!!

[HeavyD]

Going through the motions today - Happy Easter indeed.

The sermon of death, resurrection, new life, so on point to hear and internalize.

I will be strong for my kids and for myself, I will go through all the right motions, but inside I am a shell.

All I want to do is crawl into a hole and pull the covers over my head. Unfortnately, I can't even do that. Too many responsibilities.

So many chit sandwichs I have to choke down today. I am sorry to be in such a negative mood, but the truth is the truth.

My IC and I are working on my internatlizing the negative aspects of the world. I have always done that, I need to get over it. I will work on my gratitude journal.

I know I have much to focus on that is joyful. Now if I could only just "believe it" and own it.

Happy Easter everyone.

[HeavyD]

One more thing I wanted to get off my chest

For years, I have always talked about going to Zion national park with the kids and ww. I was always the planner, I got all the brochures, plotted out the route, figured out where we could stay etc...

So over Spring Break when my WW had the kids, guess where they went? Yep. Why was the necessary to do when I wasn't there? That was my dream - and now she stole that too. Of course she had a friend to go with her to make the trip easier, but why not me? Once again, I feel robbed.

[HeavyD]

So now I find out that my WW is flying out to visit her AP for My 5 and 6th. Nice.

This makes the umpeenth time she flies out and stays at an expensive place. So there goes my theory that they are on the rocks. Obviously not, now how to process it. Guess I just have to not think about it.

Hard to do, but there it is.

I noticed today that my ring fingers had a seemingly permanent indentation from wearing it for 19 years. I wonder when that will ever go away. Maybe it is a metaphor for my feelings. When the indientation goes away, maybe I will finally be over for me emotionally. Something to think about.

[Kramer]

I noticed today that my ring fingers had a seemingly permanent indentation from wearing it for 19 years. I wonder when that will ever go away. Maybe it is a metaphor for my feelings. When the indientation goes away, maybe I will finally be over for me emotionally. Something to think about.

Ok. I just have to comment on this. My finger has the same indentation. Other than cleaning it, I never took it off until just recently. I consider it a badge of honor.

Interestingly, she stopped wearing hers 9 months ago, citing finger swelling and germs at work (she is a nurse).

[HeavyD]

Yeah - typical story.

I never took mine off. Once when my WW "lost" her rings around the house, I was frantic trying to find them for her. I looked for days and finally found them. She didn't even look for them, could not have cared less. That should have been a red flag for me then but I was too dumb to notice it.

Have you taken your ring off? If so, I am very sorry.

I too am in the medical profession and work at a large academic hospital in LA.

[BW911]

Happy easter Heavy D. Im right there with you. Although I opted to NOT go to church. Being around happy families doing happy family stuff just was too much for me to even witness. Good on you for having the courage and fortitude to even go.

Have a good one.

[Kramer]

I've had mine off since January. Still have indentations. I thought about leaving it on, but didn't want to seem pathetic.

[BW911]

I take mine off and on. I can't wear mine at work due to the job. But, most of the time when Im not at work I have mine one. When I do keep mine on, I feel to me, its sort of a bastion of hope. That somehow, someway, it shows that Im not done yet.